I Rejoice

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2011-10-19T12:10:00.001-04:00

Christmas 2009

2009-12-25T18:33:00.003-05:00

Happy December

2009-12-09T11:54:00.000-05:00

So, I have this new idea for my blog. I know that I have not been updating at all. My life is in such a season of change, that I am disapointed in myself for the things I have missed recording on here. What I love most about having a blog is being able to come back to it and read months later, to see how my life, my thoughts, my fears or joys have changed. I have started a new full-time job at the YMCA in Charlotte and work from the morning until the ht. After work I am often spending time with high school kids for Young Life. By the time I get home arond 9:30 or 10 pm, I have very little time to sit on my computer and get on facebook, much less catch up on my blog. o have dull moments at work for a lunch break or some personal time, and it is in those moments hat I wish I could get onto my blog page and update. Unfortunately, we have a pretty sensitive internet filter here at the Y, and no personal blog sites are allowed through. I also don't haev internet at my house, so here is the plan: I am going to start typing up blog posts during my free time at work, emailing them to myself, and posting them when I get to a coffee shop with internet. This means I might post 2 or 3 at a time, but dont get your hopes up. I am reminded day after day that our world is a changeful world. Everything is moving, going, growing, transferring, transitioning, and our lives are full of seasons that also ebb and flow. I am in one of the scariest seasons of my life and am feeling the most fear and anxiety I have ever felt. My roomate Robin reminded me yesterday that 'fear is not of the Lord'...and for that matter neither is anxiety. In Malachi God says, "I the Lord DO NOT change." Now, it isn't in there as capital letters, but I can really picture God yellign that part. I picture him yelling, because we ALWAYS forget this. God proves to us time and time again that he will be our provider, that he will pick up the pieces, that he is gracious and merciful...YET we forget. I always forget. His promises, His character, His provisions, His previous doings do not become null and void when we face a new crisis or when we face the changefulnes of the world. He remains the same, no matter our situation. I am learning not to be so selfish with my time as I begin a full-time job. I don't have the same luxuries to spend hours reading, or mornings sleeping, or afternoons napping, or breakfasts with friends. I have to be more intentional with the time I have during this season of change. I have ten days off during Christmas and I cannot wait. I will make it home on Christmas Eve, and come back here on January 1st. Tyler gets to come home with me and meet the entire family, and for this I am so thankful. Tis' the season.

weekday update

2009-11-03T11:06:00.003-05:00

Okay, so my dad was getting on me about my utterly embarrasing lack of blogging here. I am hardly ever at my computer (which is worlds apart from college when I was able to update this thing almost every day), but I forget sometimes that for the few that read this, I don't get to update you often. So, for my sake of reading this in a few years to look back on what the Lord has done in that time, and for the few of you that read...here's a little update.

I am currently still living in Charlotte with my two roomates and I love it. Charlotte is beautiful. Even when it rains it is not discouraging because you know that there is sun not far behind. It is just wired like that. It is nothing like Cincinnati where one day of rain meant weeks of fog to follow. While I love it, I miss a lot of things. I miss my family the most. I am (scarily) finding myself feeling more detached the older I get. I know this doesn't have as much to do with age as my stage in life, but I am trying to be very conscious about keeping up. The reality is, I am here with my own life, and they their with theirs (funky sentence, huh?). This makes it hard to cross paths at times.

I miss college. Gosh the grass is ALWAYS greener on the other side, huh? I am already feeling the grad school itch, though not yet sure what forth. I go back and forth between counseling, elementary ed., and something in non-profit. Since I am clearly worlds away from a decision this won't be happening for a while. With college I miss my friends. Three of my great girls from leading YL in Cinci are spread out all over...Amy as far away as Texas. I miss them. Again, our different stages of life and different schedules makes it hard to cross internet paths often enough. I miss my old roomie. Molly and I are experiencing things apart from each other for the first time in 4 years. It is weird not to be there to share hilarious stories with each other at the end of the day.

All of this being said. I am not sitting on the fence here in Charlotte. I have both feet in and for that I can thank the Lord. He has given me so much purpose and reassurance about being here. Ministry is seemingly coming along slow, but I have to remember that I am starting out at a new school, with a full time job, in a completely different region of the United States, with high school kids who have very little idea of what Young Life is. Club is becoming less of a stress and I praise God that he is giving me something to believe in. I still think we have more room to be excellent, but it will get there. In the meantime...it is not easy asking high school kids to come along on this journey with you, so I am really learning a lot of things again. Again I say, the season of refinement!

My devotional yesterday said it all. In Malachi 3 it says the Lord DOES NOT change. Never...not his traits, his mind, his patience, the way he feels about us. None of it. So amidst the changefulness of out world, God remains the same.

I get to do something SO FUN this weekend. Rebecca and I are flying to New York to stay with Uncle David. Tyler is coming down from West Point and we are going to all spend the weekend together. We will do the city, go see WP, and see Uncle David's new show! I can honestly say that all three of us cannot wait. It will be an awesome quick trip. Then 2 weeks later I get to go to Canton...ah, home :). Thanksgiving with my cousins and family. That spells awesome.

Work calls.

embarrassing...

2009-10-08T11:41:00.004-04:00

My blog neglect is embarrassing. I have been spending very little time on my computer except to answer emails and flit around on facebook, so I have not had the opportunity to post on here.

My life is quite a whirlwind. So, for my own sake to look back here in 3 months and really see the changes, I am going to divulge the meet of my schedule:
Monday: morning off, 6 hours at the Y, setup for YoungLife club at the Y and get home by 10
Tuesday: Bible study with women from church, lunch at home, 6 hours at the Y, high school sporting event, 830 Bible study with peers
Wednesday: Y from 715-9, lunch home, 5 more hours at the Y, dinner with high school girls, YL Campaingners Bible study, home by 930
Thursday: Y from 715-9, lunch home, back to the Y, FREE night OR JV football game at the high shcool
Friday: Y from 715-9, walking with Judy, lunch at home, back to work at the Y, high school football!

I am moving into some preschool teaching at the Y as a sub for Wed-Fri to get some extra hours. I also throw in workouts while I am down there in the afternoons. When I was in college I never thought I would be busier, I now know that it will only get moreso. I am the epitome of someone who is constantly looking to the future for "easier" times, but am finding so much satisfaction and growth during this stage of the Lord doing SO MUCH pruning. My life is CRAZY TIMES, but I love it.

Tyler came home this past weekend, which was such a needed gift from the Lord. I had been missing him like CRAZY and it was so great to spend time together and attend his cousin's wedding. He continues to teach and encourage me in ways that are so new to me and I am so thankful for that blessing. God is TRULY refining me right now...shaving/burning/cutting off the bad stuff...and it HURTS a lot of the time, but is rewarding all of the time.

So young, but so old.

2009-09-17T13:13:00.004-04:00

Okay. I know that I have been doing terrible business as far as updating my blog. I have found myself doing a lot of journaling rather than posting on the internet since there are a lot of internal things going on with me.

I am quickly learning that life after college is never something that you can be adequately prepared for. There is nothing like working full time. No way to describe it or experience it until you do. And one you are working full time, the responsibility and expectations come as quite a surprise. They are responsibilities and expectations that are previously unprecedented in most people's young adulthood. I had unrealistic expectations that working for a non-profit meant that I wouldn't have the same quantitative expectations placed upon me that people normally experience in the private sector. Silly and wrong. I am in charge of a program that is not filling up quite as quickly as I or my director suspected. After all of the marketing and strategizing, it comes back to where it should always begin - I am praying that the Lord will reveal his hand in this, whether or not it comes out positive in my opinion.

Young Life here in Charlotte is proving to be no walk in the park. Why did I even ever think it might be even for just a second? Ministry will never be "easy" because Satan continues to reign here in the world. I am making an attempt to constantly remind myself that I am privy to the greatest news that anyone could ever hear, and I have been called to carry that News to high school students. The Gospel is such a worthy message. Worthy of my discomfort, worthy if ridicule, worthy of being ignored, and worthy of boldness.

I love the women I live with. There are no greater people to speak truth into my life right now. They are both familiar with Young Life and have experienced or are experiencing similar anxieties, struggles, worries, triumphs and passions. I do not know how long I will be where I am, but I know that God will need to make it GLARINGLY obvious that I need to leave these two. Well, God or Robin who owns the place.

Tyler comes home in two weeks as of tomorrow. I cannot wait to see him. We start young life club the Monday before, and I start my program at the Y the same Monday before, so the weekend after will be welcome hang out tiem with him and friends.

I turn 23 in exactly one month. I am so young. :)

Celebrating the Day of Labor Weekend

2009-09-06T22:02:00.002-04:00

Way too long since I last posted. I drove home to WV on Friday after work and arrived around 615. I went over to pick up Shawna (my beautiful friend from high school who is getting married June 4th) and then we jumped in the car with my mom and Becca to head to Morgantown. Many people would be surprised to know that until this weekend, I had never been to a home game at Milan Psukar, home of the WV Mountaineers.

We were lucky enough to get Suite tickets (not to be confused with sweet tickets) via someone my dad knows. This meant free food, which I never pass up. Hanging out in the box was great because we had a little more room to move around, but a CLOUDLESS day. I spent the night at Shawna's the night before the game and when I was getting ready the next morning, Shawna's roomate asked if I wanted a WV tattoo for my face. I am a female, and face tattoo's at sporting events are cute for that one reason, so I obliged.

Two hours of eating, chatting, tailgating, and two quarters of football later, I was headed to the bathroom to scrub off my tattoo, and still came out of the day with a WV shaped sunburn on my face. Glorious.
I love being back home around my family, and it is also so great to see Shawna. I also got to see John, her fiance, who I had not seen in forever. Seeing the two of them together, now engaged, was so special. There is something so different and amazing about that. It is clear that they are on board for the Lord being able to do immensely more in the coming year before they are married. I am so excited for the chance to be a part of the exciting-ness!

Isn't it Ironic?

2009-08-28T16:26:00.002-04:00

Interesting story.

Today I was serving a table of eight and after I brought out the first round of drinks, I spilled a water on a gentlemen. It did not drench him or cause him to have to even leave his seat to clean up, but I did get it on his shirt. I was totally flustered and embarrassed and felt so bad. My manager was there right after it happened and he cleaned up the mess by telling the man that the restaurant would take care of his meal.

I pretty much avoided that man completely the rest of the meal. Definitly did not make eye contact. When it came time to do checks, my boss told me to just not give him a recepit at all. He took care of it.

The irnoy of the situation: The man wasn't outraged or anything, so he left me a ten dollar tip that would have covered his whole meal had he been required to pay. So I made ten dollars off of spilling water on a guest. I am not stupid enough to think that this will always be the case, but man...what luck. :)

New Job.

2009-08-26T09:27:00.003-04:00

So, I start my new job today...well, continue some on site training, but that's a start.

I will be working for the YMCA. Some of you may know that I worked for the Y for two years in college in Cincinnati, so I am excited to continue. The YMCA down here is a whole different story from those up north/midwest. They are very grounded in and focused on Christian principles, and as an employee you are taken such good care of.

I am hoping to move into a full time coordinator position within the next two months because it is expected to open up. I need to do a little work that proves that I am qualified.

We had our first meeting about YL Club planning on Monday. It was our group of Campaigner (Bible study) students who were interested in being an integral part of the club planning process. There were about 18 kids there who expressed interest. I am already starting to feel my first bouts of anxiety about leading at a brand new school. I am worried about girls liking me and worried about giving "enough" time to meeting people, especially in these beginning stages. I need to be reminded all the time that God is bigger than all of my worldly measurements of "enough."

Let's see, other than that life is same ol'. Still waiting tables joyfully and hanging out with my stellar roomates. We tye-dyed with our friend Jenna last night. It was awesome. White v-necks.

A Funny Story From the Restaurant Biz

2009-08-21T17:14:00.002-04:00

Okay. So I have been waitressing at a wood grilled steak restaurant for about 2.5 months now. It is called Firebirds and it is 100000 miles short of my dream job. That is all irrelevant to the following story, but I didn't want you people to think that because I am laughing at a story about work, that I like work. haha...

Anyway, about 4 weeks ago I no longer had to be the new girl at work because three new trainees started. One guy was named Clint, my childhood rottweiler's name, and he was...hmmh...overzealous about serving. While training he was often stepping right in front of his trainer to take over tables that were not his. He claimed to me during his 3rd day of training that he was a better server than about 75% of people who had been working there since the restaurant had opened a year ago. Really? Funny he says that because Justin, another guy I worked with, really hit the nail on the head when he described Clint like this: "You know, whenever something goes wrong and a manager is on the rampage, you can pretty much bet your entire earnings for the night on the fact that Clint is responsible." Amen, Justin.

So, Clint is just notorious for being brash, rude to females, and he ruins a good joke by repeating it every time he passes you back in the server alley. Even if it was someone else's joke. I hate it when people do that. When he first started working, a few different people asked him to pick up shifts for them and he very sarcastically, and with a laugh, would tell those people, "Yea, right."

Last week when the schedule came out Clint realized that he had forgotten to ask off for this coming Saturday night. He proceeds to approach me, and ask me if I work on Saturday. After I tell him yes, I think so, I work a double, he proceeds to ask me three more times. "Are you sure? You do? You do?" YES I KNOW MY OWN SCHEDULE. Now, in my defense, I really makea conscious effort to be above reproach at the restaurant. It is such a negative working environment for most that I try to be in a good mood and nice to people. I pray walking in there to exude Christ, but Clint pushes me to the edge.

After I tell him that I cannot work for him because I ALREADY WORK THAT NIGHT, he proceeds to tell me what he portrays as a sob story about having to miss the birthday celebration of his friend who is leaving for Iraq soon. Sorry, Charlie. Can't help you out. It's not like your mom is getting surgery. So, fast forward to today, a day before the Saturday that he is trying to get off. Clint approaches me AGAIN today to ask me if I work Saturday, and can I work for him. I politely (as I can) let him know that yes I am STILL scheduled to work on Saturday night and NO I cannot work for him. He double checks, and I about body check him to the face, politely. He proceeds to tell me that he needs someone to work for him because HIS MOM IS COMING INTO TOWN TO VISIT. Thats weird? I thought...seems Clint forgot that he already asked me to work for him.

I approach my friend Trish from WV who I work with and tell her this private joke, and she mentions that she picked up on it as well. She then waltzes over to Clint and asks him is he is mad that his mom is coming in town causing him to miss the big birthday bash for his friend who is going away to Iraq soon. His spilt second, quick thinking response: Oh, what are you talking about? Birthday...uh well that friend actually broke his leg so no more birthday party. Way to think on your feet chief. Next time you ask me to work for you, be more prepared with your excuse story.

Officially not on drugs

2009-08-18T16:48:00.002-04:00

Passed my DRUG TEST. Woohoo. Had lots of nerves heading in there. But what a ridiculous 15 minute experience.

I got word today from the YMCA Human Resources Director that I would need to do my drug test within the next three days or else I would have to postpone my employment for an entire year. Needless to say, I went in this afternoon after work. When I get there a MAN takes me through these wooden, rickety swinging double doors and starts asking me some questions. We get to talking about my job at the YMCA, about Ohio, about my WV driver's license, even about college (since he went to Ohio U. like my parents).

He feels like an uncle at this point and I keep thinking he is going to hand me over to some nursing school student who gets stuck with the crap jobs...someone who is will point me in the direction of the bathroom with a plastic cup, and to whom I will only speak the word, "Here" when finished.

Surprise, the friendly man who has become an uncle to me is the administer-er of the drug test. Neglecting any sort of conversation transition, the man goes straight from talking about Cleveland snow and the hotness of Charlotte into handing me a plastic cup telling me I gotta have at least one ounce, and I can't flush the toilet or wash my hands after I am done. Thankfully he doesn't notice the embarrassment and shock on my face and points to the bathroom telling me that there is a "no running water" rule. I enter, do what needs to be done, and don't flush or wash my hands.

I have to HAND HIM MY PEE in front of this other young guy that works there just standing in the hallway. He sets it on the counter as if we are actually in some sterile professional environment, such as, oh, i don't know, a CLINIC. But, instead we are just standing in a dingy wooden hallway with chipping paint and a stack of plastic cups. He puts on ONE plastic glove, takes MY pee, and starts dipping different pieces of plastic in it while talking to me about the weather, again. This man has no shame. Thank God for that people. He proceeds to tell me that I passed and hopes to see me at the YMCA sometime since he attends the same one I will be working at. I refrain from making a joke about him recognizing me by the color of my pee and turn to leave, just in time to see him enter the bathroom that I had just left and flush my pee down the toilet. Enough said.

Moving on...over.

2009-08-15T14:46:00.002-04:00

Welp...I am moving, again. :)

Yes, yes. The word gypsy has never carried so much weight in my life (despite the fact that it is the most ocmmonly used word in the Thomas family vocabulary). Tuesday night I went over to my friend Julia's house (Julia is the new Young Life intern here in Charlotte) to stay the night. Julia lives with one of the most gracious, loving and nurturing women I have met. Robin lives in a three bedroom townhome and Julia moved in there to live just about 3 weeks ago.

Anyway, When I got there on Tuesday night Robin called me into the kitchen and said that we needed to have a pow wow. I stood there confused with my pillow and toothbrush in hand ready to make a joke about how I was just going to leave a toothbrush there so that I wouldn't always have to remember to bring my own. Robin proceeds to tell me that God loves her and because he loves her he gave her a home. She was blessed by many a family when working for Young Life when given a place to live for free in order to do ministry.

She then proceeded to tell me that God was giving her the opportunity to offer her home to me as well. That she and Julia had talked, and wanted me to move in with them. Crazy people. I love crazy people. So...that's that. I moved some of my stuff over there today and will be there temporarily until I get better acclamated with the area around where I am working at the YMCA and the area around Ardrey Kell (AK) where I am leading Young Life.

Can you believe how GOOD God is?

Not to mention I get to wake up to some of the sweetest emails. ;)

As promised...

2009-08-11T15:28:00.002-04:00

Where do I even begin. Well, my computer is on its last leg battery wise, and I am at Caribou with no power cord, so I will do my best to start from the beginning (though this is more of a circle than a line start to finish).

I am currently back living with the Regional Director of Young Life for the Carolina's. He and his wife have been SO GRACIOUS to let me stay at there place at all, much less come back for more since I am still without a full time job or place to live. Each day I feel like I am a little closer to both. There is still some "up in the air" moments regarding housing and working for the YMCA, but some very hopeful prospects. In the meantime I am still working at the restaurant. I like the people I work with and it is becoming more routine once I arrive, but I still dread the hours leading up to going in to work. Working on that...being joyful always.

My personal (relationship) life has taken quite the turn and if you are interested I would be willing to share some more, but it is not exactly public blog material. Let's just say that I am happy, encouraged, challenged and being optimistic.

The past 3 weeks have been crazy packed with days off of work for visitors and trips. I was able to see Molly, my college roomie, in Hilton Head where I was visiting some other old/new friends. What a great time. Plus I am thinking Hilton Head might be a great new destination vacation for the Thomas/Sliman clans. Though no place will ever be Kiawah (RIP).

I am making friends. New ones. Great ones. And many of them. My friend Julia, who is a new intern for Young Life here, is the greatest. She lives very near to me and we have hung out and had sleepovers and had coffee and dinner and all the great things that great women do. She is 1000% Southern and offers many a good laugh and lesson for me regarding all things appropriate in the South.

God has ben teaching me a lot about His ability to BE. To be all. To be everything, and at the same time to be MORE. HE IS. I just need to keep remembering that anytime I start to worry about me, and myself, and I and Jaclyn....that HE IS. My shortcomings, my mess ups, my overcompensations...they pale in comparison to the mere fact that he lives in me and HE IS. So scratch all that other stuff.

I will start leading Young Life VERY soon. I am nervous and anxious and totally excited. This ministry really had a huge part in keeping me down here and my summer away from it has been my most fruitful time with the Lord yet. He has been preparing me (when I let him, because I am dumb sometimes), and I am ready to lean hard on Him through loving high school girls.

So...that is a lot of brief stuff for now. I will be better at this again. I promise.

Guest Blog: Charles G.

2009-08-10T15:45:00.004-04:00

I am not giving you what I promised. I apologize in advance for that, but I am giving you something much better: A guest blog from my best friend from Xavier, Charles Galvin. Some of you might remember Charles' earlier guest spot blogs about his stand up comedy, so sit back and hang on. He never disappoints.

So it feels like forever ago since Jaclyn and I last saw each other, not counting a few attempts at Skype, which generally works better when you are not trying to pirate free Wi-Fi from your neighbors. In an effort to reconnect, Jaclyn reached out to me and begged that I do a guest blog. And by reached out and begged, I mean I was reading her blog one day, noticed that nothing substantive had been written in a while, asked her if I could do a post, and she obliged. For those of you who don’t know me very well, I apologize. You will probably want to go ahead and stop reading now, because not much of it will be about Jaclyn, partly because we’ve been apart for the whole summer, but also because I’m desperate for a moment in the spotlight of “I Rejoice”.

The past summer I took on the job of head coach for the Beckett Ridge Barracudas, a summer swim team that I’ve now coached for 5 years after swimming for 12 years. We achieved what some might consider successful results, winning our league championship for the 15th year in a row. It was a tremendous relief to not let the streak be snapped in my first year on the job, and while I have had many great accomplishments in my career, this summer saw the biggest one yet: convincing a 6 year old to swim a race without taking a breath.

Since the magic ended about a week ago, my life has been the whirlwind of adventures that most professional athletes/coaches experience in the off-season, or at least that’s what I imagine. Probably the best part about my job is that while most of the swimmers know I’m 22, it doesn’t ever seem to sink in. They still see me as though I am in High School, and frankly I love it. My best friends this summer have been RJ ( a fellow Xavier grad turned swim coach) and about a dozen boys ranging in age from 10 to 14. Before you raise your eyebrows and get all Billie-Jean on me, relax. I have been on vacation to visit my girlfriend Natalie in Boston, and can assure you that my relationship with these boys is purely to boost my ego and nothing else. There’s nothing like being able to relive that age, only this time around do everything I wish I’d done so that I’m the coolest kid at the pool.

I have also been on vacation to visit my grandparents in Vermont. These were some of the same grandparents that offered me some wisdom as to what I should do with my life at my graduation party:
Papa: Congratulations on graduating Charles, that’s a big deal. Now what exactly was it you majored in?
Me: English with a Business minor.
Papa: Ah-ha. You know what? Up in Vermont, they’re dying for people to fill out prescriptions and work in drug stores.
Me: You mean pharmacists?
Papa: Yes! Pharmacists! And I hear they make pretty good money too. You should look into that. Does Xavier have a pharmacy program?
Me: No, they don’t. I think it’s about a 6-year program from what I’ve heard from other people who are in one though.
Papa: Well, you’ve probably taken most of the same core classes, so I bet it wouldn’t take as long. Give it some thought.

I’ve always thought of myself as a trendsetter, and this summer has been no exception. My most recent offering to society has been living with my parents at home without actively seeking a full-time job. It has yet to catch on from what I can tell though. Most of the Facebook profiles that I have stalked seem to indicate that my former classmates are either enrolled in graduate classes or working somewhere, while some have even gotten married. I am looking forward the gravity of my decisions eventually sinking in and waking up one morning to realize how much time I’ve wasted. Until then, I join you in eagerly awaiting the far-too-few-and-far-between updates on Jaclyn’s life so that I may vicariously live through her.

Updates coming

2009-08-08T16:21:00.003-04:00

I know it has been ages, and today my mom reminded me. I have been neglecting my blog, and though I am notorious for being a quitter (gymnastics, ballet, flute, swimming, guitar), this is not something I am quitting. The past week has been busy and wonderful and unforgettable all in one.

Tonight I head up to a concert a little north of Charlotte with Dad and my sister Danielle. They got into Charlotte today and we are going to see Def Leppard, Cheap Trick and Poison...dad's favorites. After they leave tomorrow I should have a little bit of time to sit, breathe, process and then write...because I gotta write, because life is changing and I want to keep up.

God is good people. Expect updates tomorrow. It is a priority

THE FUNNEST

2009-08-01T11:26:00.002-04:00

So, this weekend promises MANY many fun times, good memories, and just some of the best people. Tonight, there will be four great friends staying the night and I cannot wait. To begin, my sister, Becca, and one of my best friends from Cincinnati, Ally, will be getting to Charlotte in about an hour. I will get a few hours this afternoon to just hang with the girls and for that I am so grateful. We will hopefully make dinner and Tyler, whom I met at the beach 5 years ago, and have since reconnected with, will head down early evening. Tyler and I are going to a Rascal Flatts concert.

After we leave for the concert the 5th and final member of the weekend arrives. He is from Atlanta and goes to UGA. Colton will be here around 6 or 7. Colton was on Work Crew at Saranac when Becca was also on WC and I was on Summer Staff. They were both Roustabouts and haven't seen each other SINCE then...four years. We are very excited for this reunion.

So...what a smorgasborg of fun and friends. I cannot wait for it to begin!

He is with us in the process

2009-07-30T11:17:00.003-04:00

So, I don;t have all that much to say today, but I am going to milk it.

I have been having some pretty exciting, encouraging, and generous meetings as of late. Some of them job related (which I am not going to talk about for a little while longer), but the others just relational. I had the chance to meet two wonderful women yesterday. I had coffee with Jenna who has just finished up nursing school here in Charlotte and is looking to get involved in Young Life. She seems like a woman that I could truly grow to be in great fellowship with and I am excited about getting to know her better.

I had lunch with the committee chair for Ardrey Kell, the school at which I will be leading this coming fall. Judy is AMAZING. She has had such crazy experiences and affirmations from the Lord. What a blessing it was to be encouraged and prayed for by her.

It is almost August people, and I have no idea about where I will be living. August is a big month, and also a scary month for me. I would be lying if I said I was not a little bit nervous. But God is in the process and the details, not just the fruition that we deem successful at the end of the process. He is out on the water with us in the midst of the storm, not just in the moments when he calms things down and brings us back to shore.

Guest Blog: Amy Satt!!

2009-07-27T14:18:00.004-04:00

***This is a Guest Blog done by one of my very best friends. I have known Amy for four years and spent many a sleepover late night hanging out and laughing. She just graduated from high school and although I knew her at first as one of my Young Life girls, she quickly became one of my dearest friends. She is the first friend to visit me down in Charlotte since moving and I am so thankful for her. She is heading to Baylor in the fall for college!***

I hate my life. So okay I just thought I deleted this whole post and rewrote a whole new one and then saw that it automatically saves which is super sweet if only I had known that 5 minutes ago. So this is the original. Enjoy?

Okay, so this is semi-awkward for me. I am, in general, pretty awkward so yeah idk this is just like story of my life. I am a horrible writer and sorry, but there probably won't be any squibs (which is a new word I recently added to my vocabulary as I desperately looked it up on my iTouch when I was in need of its definition as it appeared in Harry Potter--but there a squib is a wizard without the ability to use magic, not a witty saying) in here. ANYWAY, please don't judge Jaclyn by this blog. She does have other friends and isn't limited to this dork right here. Okay, it is kind of fun to do this. I actually have my own blog but I have only written on it once so it was a definitely epic fail on my part. Right now I am in Charlotte visiting my long lost friend who ditched the Nati to come to the warmer, prettier, nicer-peopled, less smoggy city of Charlotte. Why would anyone want to do that? Currently, Jaclyn has left me again. She is running off to some important meeting while I love on the two cats she is house sitting for, as they are never tenderly cared for when she is around. I mean, she gets the job done, but with little love--appalling to me, an owner of four cats.

I don't really have any one special thing to write about..I could mention how we just spent like 15 minutes looking for 2 lost cats that weren't actually lost. That was fun. I guess I didn't even really introduce myself. I am Amy. Jaclyn was my leader in Cincy for the past 3 years. She's been my best friend too, which is fine I guess :). I am playing but yeah she has really challenged me with my relationship with Christ and I owe a lot to her. It is also nice to have her around because 1. she makes me laugh and 2. when the four of us get together (Ally, Cece, Jac, and I) we always make fun of each other. Jaclyn is usually the butt of all the jokes but more recently everyone has been making fun of me so I now feel some sort of sympathy for what she went through. I'll be a freshman at Baylor Univ next year so we will be miles and miles away from each other but luckily Skype is our new best friend so it is really not that big of a deal.

Do you guys love how random this blog is? I am the least creative person in the world. Our friend Ally is like so creative, she would have written a novel already. You should read this essay she wrote.. all of her stuff is hilarious. If you need a laugh, call her up. (Woot! This blog just autosaved at 3:42).

I am going to tell you a story. Okay, so my grandparents live in Portland, OR and we always used to fly up there to hang out with them and go skiing and all that jazz. One winter when I was like 10 years old, my brother Timmy, who was 8, (and is now a junior in HS and goes by "Tim" by people who don't know him) and I were taking snowboarding lessons on Mt. Hood. We were separated into mini groups after a big group session on the bunny hill, which was mildly successful for me and completely unsuccessful for him. Anyway, I was riding up on one of the lifts with my instructor who was being nice and friendly. I was feeling pretty important.. considering I had just turned the big 1-0 and had gotten a sweet new winter coat. I was looking like a true snowboarder. Meanwhile, Timmy was wearing a hand-me-down onesie snow suit that was teal and zipped up from the crotch all the way to his neck. It had been my cousins, then my older sisters, and now his. So I was riding up this lift looking at the mountain and my instructor started to laugh and pointed to this kid who was trying to snowboard down the mountain. I looked down and I saw this little teal blob zooming uncontrollably down this huge slope headed for a tree. Luckily, the blob didn't hit the tree, but instead did a complete face plant onto the fresh snow and was just sprawled out like a splat of teal paint, unmoving. I laughed pretty hard and told my instructor that it was my brother. He/She i forget felt really bad but my brother and I are pretty close so this was just hilarious to me. Anway..Timmy is a really good skier now. He hasn't touched a snowboard since. There really was no point to that story but it was the first thing that popped into my head.
MORAL: It is nice to try new things, but you don't necessarily have to stick to every one.
There. Now there was a point.

Anyway, I really want to get back to re-reading Harry Potter 7 and I need to take a shower. So.. wherever you are and whatever you are doing, happy living! It was nice being able to ramble to you all :D

Losing my bridesmaid virginity.

2009-07-26T00:39:00.003-04:00

As far as having friends who I have been friends with all through high school up until now I don't have many...maybe one. BUT as far as females that went to my same high school that I as not GREAT friends with while going there but and WONDERFUL friends with now, I have plenty!

My best friend that went to my same high school is Shawna. She is beautiful and wonderful and such an amazing wonam of the Lord. It has been such a blessing to be walking in my faith alongside of Shawna. SHE IS GETTING MARRIED...and she asked me to be a bridesmaid. WOW YESSSS. She is the greatest. And John, well, he's not too shabby either.

Giving it up

2009-07-23T14:26:00.002-04:00

So, I have some pretty exciting things coming up. I have a wonderful visitor coming on Saturday. One of my best friends while in college was Amy. She just graduated from high school and is going to Baylor in the fall. She is wonderful and she is coming to visit for a few nights. Plus she likes cats so she can give the whiney and annoying cats that I am taking care of all the attention they desire.

I also have some job things coming up. I am going to keep these on the down low for now, because there needs to be much prayer surrounding what might actualize in these situations. Please be praying that my heart and my head are on track with the Lord's will. If I am not meant to get a certain job, I just pray that it is clear to me.

My living situation is still pretty up in the air for now. I am looking, but trying also to trust the Lord. I am trying something new that is an idea I am ripping off from The Shack, which I just finished. In the book, Mack, through much questioning, realizes from Papa that he does not just want to be aour number one priority in our lives, but rather the center of everything and in turn a part of it all. At summer fellowship last night we read Luke 14, about the cost of being a disciple. Scripture says:

Large crowds were traveling with Jesus, and turning to them he said: "If anyone comes to me and does not hate his father and mother, his wife and children, his brothers and sisters—yes, even his own life—he cannot be my disciple. And anyone who does not carry his cross and follow me cannot be my disciple.

So, Jesus is asking us to do something that at first glance sounds so out of whack from his message of love. But what we came to discuss was the fact that the way that we love every simple little other thing in our life should PALE in comparison to the sacrifice and love we show to Christ. One translation said that we should be "indifferent" to those other things. But, in bringing in The Shack metaphor, God doesn't want to be at the top of anyone's list of priorities; this would denote that he is a separate entity. Rather, he wants to be at the center of each priority, void of a hierarchical system.

So, all that was said in order to explain that I am really trying to focus on trust and surrender. Our God is faithful, and even more so if we let Him be. So, in living and in working, rather than just in ministry or relationships, I am trying to surrender my desires to God's will.

******************************************************

On a completely unrelated note, I played my first game or Settlers of Catan last night. This game is a mix between Risk and some stock market game with resource cards. It is the number 8 most popular game in the world, and I would liken its players to those that play Pokemon or Dungeons and Dragons. All that aside, it has become pretty popular among my male friends in Young Life and so in turn, piqued my interest. Last night I played for my first time, and will willingly admit that I really enjoyed it. It takes about 15 minutes to set up and after we were about an hour plus into the game the power went out at the Robillards. Amie grabbed some candles and we continued to play much like true settlers, by candlelight. Well, I had begun to get pretty involved in the game and was standing up to see the board better from above. Neil was making fun of how into the game I was, so I went to sit down but in the dark my foot missed the couch and my right ankle gave out, only ot send my hand crashing down on the table, uprooting all pieces, including points, settlements, roads and puzzle pieces. So, once again my clumsiness ruined everyone's fun. All five guys that I was playing with just died laughing, and I am left with a sore ankle today.

I love hurting myself doing embarrassing things.

Proverbs 4:11-12

2009-07-20T09:30:00.000-04:00

I guide you in the way of wisdom
and lead you along straight paths.

When you walk, your steps will not be hampered;
when you run, you will not stumble.

Nerve endings

2009-07-19T17:26:00.002-04:00

I apologize in advance, knowing that this post could end up being a bit of a downer. Today in church the pastor read from Romans 5:3-5

Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us.

Since I moved, I feel like patience has been drilled into my head. I have been comforted over and over by God's words telling me that His plans are greater and BETTER than mine, that His timing is the only timing worth abiding by. In the midst of this I have read about men like Paul and Moses, men who waited not days or weeks or months for the ways that God would bless them, but YEARS. On top of that I read a book about Rahab. I prostitute who came to know Jesus in the midst of unbelievers and WAITED for God to come save her.

If you know me at all, you know that patience is not one of my easily definable spiritual gifts. That being said, I have been walking in the direction of patience since I moved to Charlotte. It has been amazing how the Lord has proven to me that through Him, even I can learn to wait. All of that has come to a head now though. I have been waitressing now for 3 weeks, and I am fighting an awful internal struggle with my job. I work at a place where I feel so underappreciated and taken advantage of, and where I feel there is never any offer of grace. When I ask others a question, especially management acts as if Iam doing them a disservice. I feel constantly on the battlefield there, struggling to hold steadfast to my faith and morals, while I am feeling as if my spirit is being constantly driven to bitterness.

Maybe this is what they mean when they talk about carrying the cross of Christ. My honest and immediate response is that I did not sign up for this, but realistically, I know that I did. Proverbs 16:9 says this:

A man's mind plans his way, but the Lord directs his steps and makes them sure.

Waitressing at Firebirds isn't even close to feeling like home to me. It is not a place that I want to spend time settling in to, but do I have the wrong attitude. I went into this job thinking, "Rejoice always," but leave everyday halfheartedly thinking, "Rejoice in my sufferings." God PROMISES to "prosper" and "not to harm," and I have never doubted that promise. So, I pray for patience, understanding and hope HOPE hope for the future that is promised.

At 4 pm tomorrow I have a phone interview for a job that I feel like was made especially for me. It has the appearance of being a job that I would excel and thrive in, while also being challenged. If you could pray for that, I would be so thankful. Lord, please give me the patience to take each day for itself, rather than fixing my eyes on the unknown. Instead let me fix my eyes on your promises.

Quick note from the Outer Banks

2009-07-17T09:27:00.003-04:00

Hey All! I have been virtually invisible on the interweb this week because I have been at the beach, and really, who wants to be on the interweb at the beach? So, I am heading back later this afternoon, and will work on updating Saturday or Sunday! Yay, miss you all!

Bored.

2009-07-09T15:17:00.003-04:00

I did not plan to blog at all today, but of the 31 blogs that I follow, only 2 of them updated today. So, since I have nothing to read, I will drop a line. I am sitting at Caribou Coffee, my home away from home, killing time until I have to go back to work. I am bored. The restaurant that I work at does split shifts. I go in at 1130 to work lunch...get off around 2, and then head back in at 5 to work dinner. Silly, I know. Tonight I am hoping its dead so I can just be cut first and go home, money or no money. I am ready to start beach mode and that requires me to be off work first. As of tonight after work, its beach me all the way.

Neat stuff to come.

2009-07-08T16:06:00.002-04:00

I am currently running on 6 days in a row of work. I am pretty wiped and the money I am making is NOT cutting it. So, I am being hopeful and patient. Really am. Relying HEAVILY on the Lord...Read Colossians 3 this morning and received such encouragement and affirmation in my patience.

I applied for a job today as an administrative assistant at the organization that initially drew me to Charlotte, with whom I did not end up getting a job. This would be a great opportunity and seems to fit very well with my skill set. We will see. I worked HARD on the cover letter. How is everyone else?

I leave for the beach on Saturday. Thank the Lord for that. Rejoice in that! I cannot wait to play Monopoly, Scattergories and Racko. I cannot wait to leave Monopoly sitting on the table all week, only to come back to it for a few hours each day in order to finish. I cannot wait to do chores with my cousins and design dinner menus. I cannot wait to camel boogie boards, floats, packed lunches, towels, toys and chairs to the beach to relax all day. I cannot wait to read books with Jessica, both on the beach and sunburnt on couches in the evening. I know I will do more laughing this week than I have since last going on vacation with my cousins, and I know we will make more memories that I will cherish long after. No boyfriends, just family. And I cannot wait!

Incidental. (synonym for random)

2009-07-05T13:41:00.005-04:00

Nothing much going on here as of late. I got to spend July 3rd boating with a friend and respective family. One thing I am totally coming to appreciate about Charlotte is the generosity of people with lake access. I have reaped that benefit as much as possible. I have been relinquished to getting wet up to the neck for the past couple days because of stitches, so I had to be smart and stay off the tube. You are welcome, Mom.

Last night I had my first night waitressing on my own. It went well. Waitressing is a hard job, but I enjoy meeting so many different people. At times I wish I worked somewhere a little more casual, so that it wouldn't be so frowned upon when I spend lengthier amounts of time greeting tables. Blah, blah management...get off my back. (:

On the flip side, I made it over to REI yesterday to return the laptop sleeve that I bought because it was too small. I got me a new one and picked up a little goodie. I have been looking for some good techwick SLEEVELESS shirts since moving down here. When I run my main deterrant for long distances is the heat down here. IT IS SWELTERING. I did a quick little sweep at REI and found one on sale for 13.99..HOLLER. I love it. So, here's a picture!

Raining here today for the first time in a week. Held off all holiday weekend. Gotta love that.

And just for fun because she took it on my computer a few weeks ago, here is Becca looking FINE.

I couldn't have made up a better story.

2009-07-02T17:43:00.004-04:00

(I take no credit for the movie reference, because Tyler thought of it on his own. It will make sense later).

Okay, have you seen the movie Hitch? Well, there is a part in the movie when Will Smith takes Eva Longoria to Ellis Island on a jet ski for this really moving scene where she sees her ancestors signature from immigrating or something. Irrelevant. BUT...it is there first date. And a really good idea for one at that. On their way back, Will Smith is getting on the jet ski or something, and he swings his leg over the top of it, clocking Eva Mendes in the head with his foot. Later scenes show her with an ice pack on her face. Now...keep this scene in mind as I tell you the story of one of the funniest and most memorable moments of my life thus far.

Five years ago, at Kiawah, the cousins and I made friends with some boys from Statesville, NC...about an hour north of Charlotte. We stayed in touch with the off and on, but mostly via facebook. Tyler C. is a year younger than me and one of the guys in the group. He is a cadet at West Point, but this summer he spent some time in Hawaii for some military stuff and leaves in a couple days to go to Georgia...same idea. He has been home for a few days in between and he sent me a facebook message wanting to know if I wanted to hang out since he knew that I had moved to Charlotte. If you can't tell yet, I have very few friends in Charlotte, and until I had this waitressing job I had just about nothing to do...so, I welcome any and all plans being made. After some careful planning around all of the time that Tyler's mom deserves with him, he proposed that we go to the US National Whitewater Center. Now I have been DYING to actually go to this palce and experience it firsthand. I had been out there once before to clear trails, but its the one place people keep saying you gotta go for outdoors stuff.

So, Tyler picks me up around 9:40 Wednesday morning, with snacks packed...haha. We met his friend William who works at the whitewater center and he took us flatwater kayaking. Then we went adventure rafting together. While adventure rafting I, being the smart alec that I am, ask the guy if anyone really gets hurt at this place. They make you sit through a 30 minute safety spiel every time you raft. Even if you go 5 times in one day. They tell you one thing that is an absolute MUST on the river: NEVER LET GO OF YOUR T-GRIP. A t-grip is the end of the oar that your hand holds. He tells me some examples of injuries, but I am still not sold. It all feels pretty contained and sealed up real neat there, as opposed to being on a real river. A step up from adventure rafting is Rodeo Rafting, which our guide assures us will make us swim, meaning that we will get knocked out at some point. Tyler and I look at each other and I think I tried to send facial expressions that said, "Come on, come onnnnn...I wanna do it." Silly me, my eyes are always bigger than what my body can usually handle. I am starting to feel like I might be a bit of an adrenaline junkie.

So we eat lunch with William and Tyler looks at me, smiles, and says we should go Rodeo. Yessir, it worked. We get on a trip at 330 that is expected to last 1.5 hours. So we suit up and take our swim test, which consists of us having to float down a rapid and then swim to an eddy where we can safely stand and get out of the "river" (manmade). I pass the test, but ignore the omen that warns me of what is yet to come. As I float the rapid I am holding my paddle parallel to the ground with both hands in front of me, the force of water to my face causes my paddle to make contact with my nose in such a way that I feel like I probably have a nosebleed, but luckily, I exit the water unscathed. We make our first trip down the regular rafting course and it goes smoothly. Our guide informs us that the next trip won't go so smoothly. He assures us that we will swim. Lucky for us...none of us swam. And that was kind of Tyler's fault.

See, there is a whitewater rafting technique called "surfing." This entails going down a rapid then paddling out to an eddy so that you can paddle back upstream into the rapid and "surf." While surfing you are usually getting tons of water in your boat and a bunch of waves in your face. I didn't get waves to my face, but I did get something else to my head. While surfing, my paddle gets pulled under by a wave and the leverage makes it force upward like a teeter totter with all the weight on one end. I quickly grab hold of my t-grip, but not before what I perceive to be it hitting me in the head. At the same time that this is happening, I am starting to fall out of the boat, and PRESUMABLY, Tyler LETS GO OF HIS T-GRIP (see paragraph 3), in order to pull me back in. This plan to be a (careless) chivalrous gentlemen of course backfires because he has broken the cardinal rule of rafting.

I feel something hit my helmet and then settle on my right eyebrow with what feels like a little bit of force. Like maybe only 6 G's. We finally get out of the rapid and I sit up regular smiling and ready to roll, only to turn my head ot look at the faces of my boatmates and see their mouths wide open. I quickly start to feel liquid dripping in my eye, go to wipe it off and at the same time as the girl behind me tells me I am bleeding, I look at my hand covered with blood. I am laughing because I still think I did this to myself and because really, this always happens to me. Our guide rushes us to the bank and makes us walk out of the river and over to the main building ot see the EMT. On our way we pass a big group of kids who all look at me like I stepped out of a coffin, or some Michael Myers movie. Someone asks me if its paint or real blood. Yea buddy, its paint, brought it special for the rafting trip.

I finally walk by a window where I can see my reflection and I look like I belong in a haunted house, like someone threw 15 of those fake blood capsules at my forehead. From my eyebrow down, the whole right side of my face and neck is covered with blood. I kinda laugh, nervously, having no idea how this happened. I mention that I did it to myself and the girl who was in our raft corrects me, saying she thought it was Tyler. Up to this point he has been quiet except to mumble that he is so sorry while I shush him and tell him no big deal. He then proclaims that he too thinks it was his paddle that hit me in the face...i.e. Will Smith kicking Eva Mendes in the head.

Well, after cleaning me up very minimally, the EMT vocalizes what I am dreading...STITCHES. boo, really? You know I always wanted stitches when I was younger...and a cast. This year I got both. When I was growing up going to summer camp at Bluestone we had to play the scar game, where everyone told a story about their favorite scar. I always made stuff up and told people that you couldn't see the scar because it was under my clothes. Even scandalous as a child. Too little too late Stitches. So, the EMT wraps my head like I am some war victim that lost an ear or took some shrapnel to the brain. I feel like McDreamy just did neurosurgery. I walk around the whitewater center aimlessly while Tyler frantically runs back and forth tying up loose ends. One guy walk past me and mumbles, "Purple heart." Thanks for mocking me a-hole.

Tyler and I put on dry clothes and begin the 35 minute drive back to Charlotte to get my insurance card which I have so conveniently left back at my apartment. He then takes me to Urgetn Care to get checked out. In case you didn't know, I just graduated. Which means shortly if not now I am off my parents health insurance. Lucky for me, my mom pulls strings and bends rules. We pass the initial screening and make it back to the patient room, Tyler in tow despite his proclaimed and proven weak stomach for blood. He is a trooper. We get in the room and my nurse is a large black woman who Tyler claims looked at him like a woman-beater. Rightly so my friend, rightly so. All three women who enter our room gush over Tyler and his tomato red thighs, arms and face. Thanks for wrecking my face and stealing my thunder man. Hello ladies, bleedinggggg.

The PA comes in to sew me up but first gives me 15 shots of something numbing. After she contonues to prick me and I am still not numb I tell her to just put me out of my misery and get to work. If she is going to be sticking me anyway we might as well be making progress, numb or not. Initially I was told 1-2 stitches. The first nurse says three. The PA finally tell me four and then pulls a magic trick, making my gash bigger, and says my lucky number is five. How do those people do that...and better yet, why? This isn't clown school Patch Adams. Throughout the whole thing Tyler is a total gentlemen. I ask him to tell a story to distract me and he is gracious in obliging. I get outta there with 5 stitches and a swift punch to the stomach with the promise of a return visit to get the stitches removed in 5 days. Thanks folks. These things don't dissolve? Plus I cannot get them wet. Perfect since its 100 degrees here every day.

Well, other than a little headache, some mild throbbing, and some ego bruising I'd say the day was a success. Tyler and I made it to Bible study right on time and even got to go out to dinner to celebrate, while he quizzed me for my menu test for waitressing. Even though I got the memory knocked out of me I passed the test and even survived my mock dining. Hooray, I am a full fledged waitress. Can you hear the excitement in my voice? For the record, the correct answer is no. At least I had a good ice breaker at all my tables today because of the piece of gauze taped to my head. And Tyler can tell everyone he knows how ot give a paddle to the face. I don't think he'll be giving any rafting safety demonstrations anytime soon.

Hope.

2009-06-29T15:38:00.002-04:00

doing my first split shift today, so I have 2 hours before I go back in to work.

Work is work. Simply put. I do not love it, but I am constantly being reminded by the Lord that I need to hold on to hope for the future. At Saranac, Mike Kramer (the speaker) said something that I keep coming back to: If there is no hope for the future, there is no power in the present. So, I hope. I have been reading some awesome scriptures lately that are truly affirming this.

1 Thes 5:18:
Thank [God] in everything [no matter what the circumstances may be, be thankful and give thanks], for this is the will of God for you [who are] in Christ Jesus [the Revealer and Mediator of that will].

Romans 15:4:
For whatever was thus written in former days was written for our instruction, that by [our steadfast and patient] endurance and the encouragement [drawn] from the Scriptures we might hold fast to and cherish hope.

Anyway. Good stuff. I am hopoing for the future. Praying that waitressing is not the future.

Cool fact about the South: People from here ask me where I am from because they think I talk funny. AND...so many people here call their parents "Mommy" and "Daddy." And surprisingly, its not annoying in that baby talk way.

Cramming

2009-06-26T12:51:00.002-04:00

I am currently blogging from the nearby Caribou Coffee. There is not a great internet connection at my studio apartment above the garage and this place is about 2 blocks away. Plus after consulting with Charles yesterday, I have decided to jump on the "I-am-never-paying-for-internet-again" train. It's ridiculous. With places like Caribou and Panera (who have FREE internet - BOO starbucks) you don't need your own. I can come sit here for as many hours as I would like just sucking up their free internet connection while not having to buy anything. Clearly I am cheap.

I am sitting here RIDDEN with anxiety over something in my life that is causing more stress than my 18th Century English Novel class where we had to read 4 books over 800 pages each in one semester. I am here with three more hours to cram for the first of 4 exams in order to be considered done with training for my new job. What sort of job is this where I have hours worth of homework to do you ask? Am I taking the CPA exam? Nope. Am I taking my health and life insurance exam so that I can sell something so important that you gotta have it to die? Niet. What about a test in order to be a physician that saves lives? again, no way jose.

I am studying for the first of four FOOD tests that make me eligible to be a FULL-FLEDGED SERVER at Firebirds. And trust me, I am taking it seriously. Today I gotta be able to rattle off the ingredients and my own little spiel about the 7 appetizers. Wanna know the most popular one? I know you don't, but because I am studying you get to anyway - the Lobster Spinach Queso. Yes its great...but really...can't people read the menu.

In all seriousness I am happy that I am being trained as diligently as I am. I never went through any proper server training at the golf course that I worked at in college and so, never felt comfortable or well-equipped when I had a table who wanted something besides the all-you-can-eat buffett. MOVE OVER Keri Russell in Waitress.

In other news, not much else going on. Michael Jackson died. Please be thinking of my brother as he copes with this news. He spent yesterday in his room alone, and crying after hearing the news of his idol passing on into the afterlife. Does Allah even have an afterlife? Anyway, Robert is taking it pretty hard knowing that he no longer has a sleepover buddy. And its not like they sleep together, "he is on one side and Michael is on the other side of the bed." What's so wrong with that?

A slew of stories from Saranac

2009-06-23T15:41:00.002-04:00

So...where do I even begin?

I am so glad this week that the assignment team harped on the fact that we are not above having our lives changed by God while at a young life camp with high school friends. I think at times I have gone into camp with the mindset that my only goal for the week is to serve my girls and where THEY are at with the Lord. This past week I was so blessed to have God screaming my name in a thousand different directions. Calling me to stop trying to be self-sustaining and seeking glory for myself.

I will start by saying that the program rocked, and not in the sense that it was the funniest thing I had ever seen (though it did not lack in humor), but because of the quality. You could tell from the audience that they loved each other. It was evident to our high school friends and also so clear how hard they worked on each and every detail. We got to send like 10 of our Mariemont kids up front to be a part of different aspects of program. That coupled with the placement of leaders into the program throughout the week set us up better than ever before. Whether it was entertainment night, the opera, or role play...we as leaders were really served by the assign team in the ways that they made us a part of the program to open up doors with our high school kids. I pray that the Lord keeps this assign team together because they showed us and our campers so much in how the loved one another.

I had girls in my cabin who were so up for everything. I got to go barefoot skiing, attempt barrel rolls on the tube, whiz through the ropes course in under and hour, and play knockout for about 2 hours every day. They were not the sit in the cabin and sleep type of crowd, although we did spend a FAIR amount of time making friendship bracelets with string and beads. Possibly the greatest blessing of the week was when the girls in my cabin served me beyond their understanding. I hate cabin cleanup, and yes, I know everyone hates cabin cleanup...but it brings out the worst in me. So I was ELATED (sarcasm) to hear that ours would be postponed as it was because the trip leader evaluation meeting was the final morning of camp, at 8 am...right when cabin cleanup should start. So, I made sure the girls had things packed the night before and I relied on Amy and Ally to get things "started" since they had plenty of experience. I expected to come back to find girls still dragging their luggage out of our cabin, step one of the whole process. I ended up being in the trip leader meeting for an hour and walking back to the cabin, slowly asking God for patience and love in the midst of misery. I am dramatic. When I opened the cabin door it sparkled. It was SPOTLESS! Without any of my help, whining, pushing, and nagging they had finished the whole process without me. Are you kidding? Talk about senior leadership. We had an hour to spend hanging out as a cabin at the point, just talking and rehashing the week. Thank you God...thank you, thank you, thank you.

For the first time since I have been leading, we went to camp with other schools from our region. This was great in so many ways. From a leader perspective it was such a blessing to have other people pulling for you, people who REALLY know what you are dealing with because they even know some of your kids. Leader meetings felt like fellowship and I felt so blessed to be part of a much bigger team of warriors. I received constant encouragement and affirmation that only helped to give me energy...and God knows I needed that. From a camper point of view, we had students making friends with tons of peers from their rival high school in Cincinnati, as well as some huge schools in Columbus. They made friends, caught visions, and made so many contacts for college with people who shared the same experience as them. None of us felt like we were fighting the fight alone...and seeing other warriors, high school students and leaders alike, just helped me to feel that much more bold in my faith.

It was such an honor to see friends of mine from Columbus love on their friends. It is such a testament to their relationships with the Lord. I had the opportunity to see Crock and Chilcoat take leadership of their teams and yet still be fighting on the level of everyone else. Awesome, awesome stuff.

It was hard to leave there. It really marks the end of my 4 years in the Buckeye Region in more ways than one. Like I said yesterday, so many emotions of the past 3 years are wrapped up in my perception of Saranac, and I felt Satan pulling me in a lot of directions while I was there. God was so merciful every time I was brought to my knees. The climax of all of this was Cece getting sick. On day three, 5 of us woke up at 6 to go barefoot skiing, one of the most amazing things I have ever done in my life. That evening, Cece started feeling sick during cabin time. I went to be ASAP once we were done and work at 1245 to her puking. Amy was up as well. After about 10 minutes I got the radio from the leader's lounge to get a hold of the EMT. She came over and sat with the two of us for an hour before Cece felt well enough to get some sleep. We all thought we were in the clear until an hour later I can hear her puking again. I call the EMT and she comes back over to our cabin. Anna and I sit with Cece, while Amy lies awake in her bed, until 4 am, just helpless to the pain that she is in.

I feel so bad that Anna is hanging around so I tell her that she is welcome to go, that I can stay up with Cece. She was amazing. She refuses to leave me alone and blesses me so much at a time when I knew I would lose it. Man, wow God. Thats it for now. More to come.

Only a week?

2009-06-22T01:32:00.002-04:00

Welp...its been a week, but it feels like I have been absent from the blog world for a month. I am just posting a teaser tonight because there is much to catch you up on. Last week I was so blessed to spend an amazing week at Young Life's Saranac Village with some of my best friends. The Lord did so much to affirm the call to stay involved in this ministry. My heart aches to leave that place in all of its glory because of how full and deep the time was that I spent there 3 summers ago.

There is something so huge about seeing the Lord totally wreck high school students and then pick up the pieces that I just can't put it to words, but I will try and drop some stories this week.

In Charleston, WV for two nights and then Charlotte Tuesday morning. Summer flies when you are having fun. :)

I showed up.

2009-06-11T23:17:00.003-04:00

Tonight my co-leader Nate asked me how I am doing in my time with the Lord since moving to Charlotte. I immediately answered, "amazing...probably the best time I have ever had with the Lord in my 6 years of really being a follower of Christ." Really, this is probably honestly the only time I could have ever given an answer like that and truly meant it. It's not that God has spoken to me more all of a sudden since being down here, or that I get to spend lots of time outside in His creation, but rather...I have showed up. I have been listening and being obedient when He has called me to spend time in prayer or His word.

It blows my mind that He never leaves us. Really..all this time that I couldn't honestly say that I was having "mind-blowing" (for lack of a better adjective) time with the Lord...I was giving it up willingly by not giving in...giving in to His will for me. This summer is such a gift. It was slow coming for me to get a job...(I have a waitressing job now as of next week when we get back from Saranac)...as well as slow going making friends (which if you know me is painstakingly hard). But I know that He is here with me in Charlotte, and I know that he is giving me copious amounts of time with Him where I am so encouraged and reassured about the future. And I have no idea what it will shape up to be. So...I'm okay with that.

two top tens

2009-06-09T17:39:00.003-04:00

Okay...so there are some things that I have experienced in the past few weeks of being in North Carolina that seem essential to me learning how to fit in down here.

1. The city center of Charlotte is not referred to as the "downtown" area, but rather, the "Uptown" area...capital U.
2. Southern people don't enunciate. My friend Andrew who I know from summers at Kiawah is from Statesville, NC...about an hour north of Charlotte. He told me that NASCAR fans don't particularly like Dale Earnhart, Jr. for one reason...he enunciates. Props to you Mr. Earnhart. You just won my non-southern heart.
3. NASCAR is big. REAL big here.
4. wassup is one word not two.
5. My new BFF Julia prefers that you slur her name to where it sounds something like Jewya.
6. Being a Christian is part of the culture, not necessarily something you choose.
7. Churches are about as abundant as gas stations.
8. Chicken for breakfast is a staple (i.e Bojangles).
9. Everyone really is friendlier in the South.
10. Some of the most generous people I know have treated me since being here. It's crazy how big their hearts are!

Things I miss about living with Molly O:
1. Always being called Jackleen.
2. Random outburts of singing about life's daily activities. (It is a known fact that Molly sings about using the toilet, cooking pizzas, walking down the stairs, and sitting on the couch.)
3. Laughing so hard that I almost cry when Molly does impressions of other people.
4. Random crying outburts followed by either: I am going to miss you so much. I can't believe we are moving...OR...I just love Logan so much, do you think we will be okay when I move for the summer?
5. Sitting on her bed ready to go out for the night, while I watch Molly spend another hour doing her makeup and hair.
6. Having Molly ask my opinion on an outfit and then seeing her end up in the opposite of what I suggested.
7. Always having a constantly growing pile of clothes for Goodwill.
8. Eating out as a simple excuse to just do something with the two of us.
9. Watching movies alone because Molly always fall asleep.
10. Hashing out life's joys and hardships on my blue futon.

How I love good 'ol Molly O!

God is changing my heart

2009-06-09T17:25:00.003-04:00

First off, for the 3 of you that actually read this, I apologize for not blogging for so long. It has actually been a pretty busy week.

If I am being honest I have felt overwhelmed lately. It was hard to come here with no expectations at all, and in the midst of being in the craziness of the past few weeks, I have been blindsided again and again with the fact that God has His own timing, and it is so much better than mine. It has been a lonely and slow adventure, but I am praying every day that I come closer to a place where I need no one but the Lord. I am the kind of person who will constantly substitute one-on-one time with the Lord for some fellowship with friends. I have a tendency to never say no when someone invites me to do something, and in doing so I fall back on the comfort and ease that comes with being surrounded by people. When I was on summer staff for a month at a Young Life camp I remember avoiding my quiet times because I did not want to miss out on the conversation that was constantly going on. It was easy for me to make excuses to just be with other people because we were having fruitful conversation...and they were Christians after all.

When it comes down to it, my relationship with Christ STRUGGLES and FALTERS when I choose to not spend alone time with him. If I were to constantly tell my friend Molly that I couldn't hang out with her one-on-one because I would rather hang out with a big group of our other friends, I would miss out on so many things about her. It is unfathomable to me to think of blowing off one-on-one time with Molly, so why is it so easy to do it with the God of the UNIVERSE? (not that Molly isn't up there in the whole universe spectrum). I get lonely, and I am really learning to come to a place where I crave time with my God...just me and HIM (how's that for good english?). Since being here I can tell when I have good days and bad, they are directly coorelated to the time I spend in the word or praying. On bad days I have a nervous feeling all day, like I have made the wrong decision in moving, like I will never get a job, like I won't make friends. This feeling almost immediately turns to peace when I sit down and let myself be reminded by the Lord that he will sustain me. One of the notes in my Bible today said this: "Needing people's approval in an unbalanced way can steal away our destinies" and this "God is working MIGHTILY on my behalf."

So, I am working on only seeking approval and validation from my Lord, I can't please everyone, so sometimes I need to back up, take a breather and consult with my God. That being said, I am spending the next few days consulting with the Lord on a huge decision. I have decided to follow Pauls example and not "confer with the flesh" just yet. I need to rely on the Spirit that is in me (John 14:17) before I start to seek the wise counsel of others.

FYI: I got a job. crazy right. After Young Life camp (June 13-21) I head in for training at Firebirds wood grilled cuisine restaurant. Exciting I know. You can hardly hold it in. A dream job for a colelge graduate and just what I would have thought after coming out of college with an English major.

That enough for this post and the subject matter is going ot change dramatically on the next so hold your pants up Michael...I know you're looking for the "non-scripture" stuff.

'Tis a bummer

2009-06-05T19:09:00.002-04:00

I was totally looking forward to seeing a FREE, OUTDOOR performance of Shakespeare's Twelfth Night tonight. It is raining, which is what it did all yesterday (monsoon rains last night) and all morning. There was about 5 hours of great sun this afternoon, and now were back to rain. The dork in me is so NOT embarrassed to express my sadness at the state of the weather right now because its Shakespeare! My favorite and what I think is his funniest.

Anyway, the rain here doesn't really get to me, because like I have said before...its crazy when it rains. There is sun during rain and sun almost right after rain...do the clouds here just most faster? Schweird. In and out folks. Like this post. I am so funny.

2009-06-05T17:27:00.003-04:00

Well, this week has been a little more occupied with events that have taken up some of my time! I never thought I'd be feeling this much longing for busy-ness. I was lucky to spend some time with Justin (YL metro director in Charlotte) and Amie this week at their house, along with Holly and Neil Gardner (Neil is on staff here too), and some Columbus high school grads that are attending Queens University. It was the first time I have felt at home with a lot of these people. It was so great. We really got ot just sit down over a great meal and chat all together.

I have sorted out my living situation from now until August and will be staying in a condo of a Young Life parent here while she closes on her house in Pennsylvania. I am there until August 9th and after that we are up in the air again.

I had the great opportunity of doing lunch with my friend Andrew, who I met at Kiawah about 6(? wow that long) years ago. Andrew and the four guys that he was at Kiawah with in the summer became fast friends for my sister, cousins and I. It was great to catch up with him and we ate at a great restaurant called Firebirds. Our server was such a nice guy and threw me a bone on the job application thing. He informed me that they were for sure hiring and gave me an optimistic nudge to apply. It was great to see Andrew and nice to know that I know one person down here prior to the 3 weeks of living here. :)

This morning I had such a great opportunity to have coffee with a Young Life committee mom. She is born and raised a Carolinian, but lived in the midwest for 18 years after getting married, only ot head back South. She is so generous and helpful, so it was great to be around her family this afternoon to babysit. I got ot hang out with her two wild and crazy sons. We had a water gun fight and then just sat out in the yard talking and playing. Her daughter heads off to Frontier tomorrow for her first week of young life camp as a high school student. My gosh I was almost at the point of tears remembering what that first year was like. It is something that I will never get back but also memories that I will never forget. There is just something about how special Young Life camp is when you are in high school. As a leader now I can't think of anything greater than experiencing camp through the eyes of someone who has never been. You can't even imagine or describe it. What a blessing this ministry is! I am so thankful God put its roots in Jim Rayburn's heart and that He has lead me to be a part of it.

Tomorrow I head out on my own to the US National Whitewater Center about an hour away. I will be participating in National Trails Day. I signed up at the REI store that I applied to work at, so I am hoping this will be a little bit of an in because many employees are participating. We are cleaning up trails for a few hours, then we get a free lunch and a free t-shirt. Later on I am babysitting for the boys again so it should be a great Saturday. Pray that I am bold in meeting friends and seek validation only in the Lord so that I can just be me!

Weekend of epic proportions

2009-06-02T09:22:00.003-04:00

It has been a while, but I can assure you that I had a great weekend. I was lucky enough to head back to Cincinnati to tie up some loose ends, attend some grad parties, say some college goodbyes and see some amazing high school friends graduate from Mariemont.

I did not have to drive the 8+ hours alone because I grabbed Sarah (Mariemont grad '06) on my way north, as she is taking classes at UNC for the month. We stopped to eat lunch in Charleston at my parents house and my favorite thing happened: the dogs got out. First of all, why do we have two dogs again? Second of all it was my fault...I did not tell Sarah to close the door quickly behind her. So, I walk inside and start ot make lunch until I realize no dogs begging by the refrigerator...strange sign in our house. The front door is wide open and no dogs are anywhere in sight. I grab a bone and head down the driveway and see them both staring at me, then proceeding ot run the other way. Rocca is an easy catch because he sees that I have a bone, fat kid that he is, but Brady the asian-dog space-cadet is chasing a butterfly like an idiot. I proceed to chase him into the woods until I can grab his collar and walk him back down the entire driveway as such. i.e. I will not have my own dog until my kids beg me to death. I would just as well let them run away but I would have to deal with the wrath. :)

While in Cincinnati Molly and I tackled the daunting task of winning back our security deposit in a cleaning contest. But really, moving is so miserable, but cleaning is worse. Not to mention we had to pay 60 bucks to get the carpets, that are the consistency of hardwood floor, shampooed. Bush league. But! Molly and I got to do all of this together, including visit Goodwill with a years worth of donated clothes and other stuff. I always have fun doing miserable things with Molly because she has a great sense of humor...she keeps it interesting. I got to hang out with my new BFF Henry who begs me for a ride every night...j/k...but really I am his chauffeur. He surprised me with a great gift as a token of his appreciation, so we're even. Hi Clyde.

Sarah's younger sister Amy is our main YL girl at Mariemont, one of my best friends, and an '09 high school grad. Her mom threw and "Amypalooza" on Saturday with family and close friends, and I was so happy to attend. She has an awesome family and it reminded me so much of my own. Her mom has 2 sisters and they are so close...same tendencies. Everyone got a chance to tell stories about Amy, and it was such a testament to her faith to hear how much she sought the Lord even as a little Amy. I admire her quite a bit. The high schoolers graduated on Sunday night and I was overwhelmingly sad. It was a harsh reality that I know so many of those names and faces, and so many of them do not know the Lord. I am reassured that the Lord has used me, and that they are not lost just because they did not come to know him in high school. My best friends are spreading out over the country and I am far more sad now than I was at my own high school grad 4 years ago. What does that tell ya about relationships? :)

After graduation I went up to Oxford to visit some Miami friends. I don't see these friends much and they are for the most part relatively new friendships. We pulled a 4 am nighter (not to be confused with an all-nighter) that consisted of tears over Kris Allen, a brief bonfire, lots of talking about Fairfield (of course), and a 4 on 1 checkers game where Jordan single-handedly took the cake. Lucky for him I let Travis (whose mind was too busy thinking about Kris Allen) make some bad moves. Not a lot of sleep, but quality time and a great sleepover with Maddie. :) In all of those things I rejoice.

So, today I am back in Charlotte and I continue the job search. I have an interview with Human Resources at the Charlotte Suites Hotel at 1 pm for a job as (I think?) a hotel restaurant hostess. Clearly not ideal, but I rejoice in the fact that it is a lead. I am trying to be patient. I was reading the first chapter of Acts this weekend and God spoke right to my heart. After Jesus was resurrected, he appread to the disciples. He came and spoke with them and then left with the promise that they would see him again. The version that I have says that they prepared to wait "indefinitly." Really, "INDEFINITLY?" That is a scary thought, that God's timing really has no bearing in time at all. But, it was a reassuring thought that Jesus keeps his promises. The commentary said this: "Even when we do not 'see' something or 'feel' that God is working, He is working MIGHTILY in our behalf. We inherit the promises of God through faith and patience." I am trying to really be patient and rely on faith, yet be proactive at the same time in this job search process. Pray that I might be patient...

"For you have need of steadfast patience and endurance, so that you may perform and fully accomplish the will of God, and thus receive and carry away [and enjoy to the full] what is promised." Hebrews 10:36

"Do not worry about tomorrow" (Matt 6:34)

2009-05-28T21:24:00.002-04:00

I am really experiencing what it means to trust in the Lord. Yesterday I spent more time going to about 7 different restaurants applying and then did some more online applications for some non-profit jobs and some other random jobs. I went over to REI (Recreational Equipment Inc.) today to apply there. It is one of the few jobs that I applied for that I would LOVE to get. They are not hiring, just like everyone else, but I submitted an application anyway. Plus I met some cool people and I think that I am going to volunteer to clean some hiking trails with them next Saturday at a special community event. Who knows? I have never been one ot stick to one group of friends. And here I have room, I have room for love.

It is crazy being down here...how different it is. I am truly in the Bible belt. I feel like it is taboo not to be a Christian. That can go a lot of different ways, but so far it has been great to help me be able to just spark conversations with random people that I meet. This happened when I was getting my haircut and while I was doing some pottery at a studio. It is a great way to network too because lots of people here have money and good connections.

Anyway, short post tonight. I have to get up at 545 and be on the road by 6 am to meet Sarah Satt an hour north and drive up to Cincinnati for the weekend. I can't wait to see friends. I am looking forward to the weekend and not the drive, but am excited to be heading with Sarah. She was on the first camp trip I took with Mariemont and will be a senior in college next year. good times.

I love the Library.

2009-05-26T14:56:00.002-04:00

Phew. Back to Charlotte from Rockbridge, VA as of yesterday early evening. I had such a great weekend and the time spent in worship and learning was the most quality leader weekend that I have been to yet. Mike C. from Columbus and Matt G. from Virgina did not hold back. I may share some more specifics of this stuff later. Still processing and unloading my thoughts.

I was so lucky to have been blessed with some great time with friends. Two Mariemont seniors came with and it was so neat seeing how our friendships will blossom into something so much more mature and equal in the months/years to come as they go away to college. I am so thankful for the relationship that I have with Laura, my YL leader from high school, that I know I have only better things to look forward to in the future. I also got to see lots of friends from Columbus, Miami and Athens who I have not seen for a while. All in all many many fun things crammed into 4 short days.

I am curently back at the library to use the internet. I have been here for about 2 hours so my time is dwindling quickly. I had the opportunity to go to a Memorial Day cookout last night at the invitation of a couple who leads young life here. I was REALLY nervous on my way there. It is hard being in this situation really not knowing anyone, but moreso being the only new person. That makes it way different from both boarding school and college experiences. I have to enter each new and different situation on my own and it is IMPERATIVE for me to lean on the Lord for that confidence and assurance that is necessary in those situations. I was greeted by about 6 married couples who I believe that I ascertained are all in the same church group together. Interesting. haha. I was able to really connect with two of the women and was excited and so thankful for that time of relaxing together and making connections. I had such a great time and came home pretty early because I was exhausted from Rockbridge.

I am anxious to start making some friends down here who are in the same stage of life as I am. I have found no lack of women who are fully capable of providing great fellowhsip and mentoring, but am also looking forward to meeting some single people my age. Not for the sake of a boyfriend..NOT for the sake of a boyfriend, but just to be able to share with others who are also experiencing a lot of the same things post college graduation. I was able to chat with a friend of mine from Miami who is moving down here in July for Teach for America. We connected at Rockbridge and it will be a welcome relief to me when he moves down here.

Today I got my haircut and went grocery shopping. I rode my bike over to the library and have been facebooking, answering and writing emails and job searching. I found a YMCA, a YWCA, a BBT branch to do banking, a pottery place to make some grad gifts, a church, information about being a substitute teacher, applied for a job with Teach for America and one with the YWCA that I would REALLY like, and found a church to get connected with. PHEW! Still hoping for some nannying leads and will be heading to a nearby restaurant today to see if they are hiring.

I just need prayers now to be reminded that everything does not happen at once. God will bless me in this process but on His own time. I can't expect to settle into a normal and perfect routine within 3 weeks of moving here. I am continually being blessed in the process. Thanks for your prayers and see you soon!

Charlotte.

2009-05-21T16:33:00.003-04:00

Okay. It's my first post from Charlotta, a monumental post, and I am all a flutter with things to say. So far I am feeling lots of things: welcomed, BLESSED, nervous, scared, lonely (not in a "feel sorry for me" way), lost (both metaphorically and literally), etc. This is a big city. I am a little fish. I have this great community of Young Life people who have been unbelievable, bending over backwards to get me acclimated, but I am still really trying to sit back and see what the Lord desires for me here.

I was reading Exodus last night - starting with chapter one and just exploring what God did with Moses. It reminded me that God does not change everything all at once. There are steps that He takes to get us to where he ultimately desires. Moses was leaving a place of bondage, and I am trying to figure out where that fits in with me...but I think it has something to do with a personal, internal bondage. Not sure yet... I got a new Bible for graduation from one of my best Cincinnati friends for whom I babysit. It is a translation that is rare and that I love.

Last night when I got here, Steve and Lisa Gardner showed me around their home, and let me play with their two kiddos. They were finishing up packing for their month long assignment. Justin (metro director of YL here in Charlotte) and Amie Robillard came over and brought me dinner, then took me out to get ice cream. Once we got back Steve and I unpacked my car and I am all moved in. I get pretty spotty internet over at Steve's. I have been considering the purchase of a laptop anyway, but this may spur me on even more. We will see. I will not be getting a MAC. I am currently at the library where I have a three month internet pass for free. A guest pass to check out books is $45 for 3 months. DOUBT IT. But I love books, so I might have to figure something out.

Today I played with Steve's kids in "my" apartment while he and Lisa finished getting ready to leave. They are crazy and not shy at all so listening to music and making bracelets was REALLY fun and REALLY wild. I had lunch this afternoon with Justin, Amanda, Neil and Holly. All of them are Ohio transplants to NC and three of them are on staff. All of them are married. It was such a good time and they are being so gracious in helping me to learn as much as I can about the ministry down here. I am still not sure what the Lord has for me in both the ministry or jobs. I have called the TPC golf course here two times today and not heard back. Nannying calls and emails are out, waiting to be returned as well.

Tonight is Campaigners for Myers Park High School. It is held in "my" new apartment so I had planned on making myself invisible, but Justin asked me to stay around since they won't have a girl leader there tonight. So, I will stay around. So much happening in so little time. But I am trying to be conscious of how God is working in all of it. So...ok. Pictures to come soon.

Can't find a bank. Don't know what grocery to go to. Library is my favorite place in Charlotte, coincidentally I have been to two of them already today. So...I am exciting :)

Gradeation

2009-05-19T19:15:00.005-04:00

Mom and I
Obvi dad is standing on a ledge

So, I am currently in Charleston, WV...on the back porch with mom and Rebecca. I drove in from Cincinnati today, having said my round one goodbyes. (Sweet sixteen and final four goodbyes to come in the next two months). I head out to Charlotte tomorrow. It has been a ridiculously busy and monumental week.

Graduation was on Saturday, and the family got to Cincinnati on Friday night. Turns out I did something right, for once, and made reservations at Montgomery Inn, right on the Ohio River. Everyone loved it and we were SO FULL. Ribs, pulled pork, and porkchops...straight from the former Porkopolis of Cincinnati. Rebecca and Alex spent the night with me on Friday and we stayed out pretty late with friends. I had to be on campus in my cap and gown by 745 AM on Saturday morning, and it was raining. Perfect. Molly and I waltzed into the auxiliary gym, only to be met with 600 of our classmates, all of them sweating, tired, and impatient.

Graduation only took about 2.5 hours and I swear to you the whole thing is a blur. I stared at people's names in the program most of the time, and then when I walked across stage I definitly blacked out. Don't remember any of it. I was DEATHLY nervous. As I headed backstage to get my actual diploma, I find out I dont get one because I have a $10 bill for Xavier. woopsieeeee. The rest of the day can be most accurately described as a tornado. Moving out is by far the WORST experience...every time I have to do it, but I REJOICED because my parents and Rebecca were there to help! It was a quick and busy 3 hours, but its done and over with.

So...tomorrow it is. I will move into my new "apartment" tomorrow and meet two different Young Life families in Charlotte. I am anxious.

Set in Stone

2009-05-13T11:06:00.002-04:00

Welp...it surely has been a ridiculous week. I was thinking that being out of school and done with work would mean that I have oodles of free time. Turns out...not so much the case. I have not been home longer than 2 hours except to sleep...and sometimes shower. I have a few boxes already packed with things from my room and will be tackling my closet today - a worthy opponent. Senior week has been so great. I am hanging out and talking to people who I might never see again, but rather than think about the sadness of it all, I am trying to relish in the memories being made here. Molly and I canoed yesterday...much to her chagrin. I dragged her out of bed because I was being a brat and wanted a partner, but we had the greatest time.

We decided to tackle the river rope swing as a team. I climbed up first, shaking uncontrollably, and ended up successfully executing the rope "swing" smoothly. Molly, in her true individualistic fashion, adapted the form of the rope "swing," creating instead what she referred to as the rope drop. As Molly had hold of the rope and was ready to jump from the tree, she commented on her shaky arms and legs. She mounts the courage and proceeds to jump from the tree, slide down the rope and drop straight in to the water. It turns out that this was probably intentional and smarter because the water was deeper towards the bank where the tree was rooted, rather than in the middle where others were dropping from the apex of flight. Great memories.

I have decided to leave Cincinnati on Tuesday the 19th, head home to Charleston, spend the night there, then move down to Charlotte on Wed the 20th. This allows me to make it before the Gardner's leave for their YL assignment. I have had a lead on a nannying job, as well as a call from the TPC golf course in Charlotte. We shall see. I will be heading to Virginia, Rockbridge Alum Springs YL camp, for leader weekend on the 22-25 for my last leader weekend with the Buckeye Region. I need ot find a new word, rather than always saying crazy. because I am tempted to say it now...

future prayers

2009-05-11T11:45:00.002-04:00

Okay. I need to be upfront and honest with you. This is a crazy week. I will be packing away my life to move out of my apartment when my parents come in for Graduation with a UHAUL. I will be participating in Senior week activities. I will be hanging out with as many of my high school friends for as long as I can. And I will be saying temporary initial goodbyes to all of my college friends. I will see most of these people, both high school and college friends, in the coming weeks after I have already come and gone, but the graduation aspect makes it so final.

All of this being said, I will be pretty busy this week and apologize in advance for not blogging much.

I was able to go to Columbus this past Friday night to visit friends who I won't see for a while. Some of them are gone all summer and some I will see Memorial Day weekend for Leader Weekend at Rockbridge. I love Columbus, really really love it. I have never lived there, but I keep saying that if I were to come back to Ohio, Columbus would be the place. Preeminantly, it feels like how I feel in Charlotte, just a little cooler (temperature that is). I was lucky enough to get to stay at my friend Sarah's house. It is a pretty funny and confusing story how I know Sarah, so I am not going to go into it, but she is a sophomore at Ohio State who leads YL. Her brother is involved...we will leave it at that....

Anyway, she lives with i think 7? girls in "The Coop." Something I have never appreciated is naming your houses. This is big at Miami U. and Ohio State, but doesn't exist at Xavier. Anyway, I was there for probably less than 12 hours, but it was CRAZY how that house really felt to me. It felt so much like a home in the way that my house as college never has. It wasn't remarkably different physically from most college houses (girls houses that is), but it was so glaringly different. As I walked around the kitchen, hallway, bathroom, Sarah's room...I felt like Christ's love was oozing from the cracks. It was unbelievable how surrounded by love I felt. I only interacted with two of her roommates, but they were so generous. They have encouraging words and verses all over that place. Pictures of each girl with uplifting words written all around.

I can't even explain it, but I know that I want that. I loved college. I loved my living situation every year. And I know that it was part of the Lord's plan. It has made me who I am in Christ, and who I am in ministry. Evangelism has been the focus. As I move to Charlotte, I will be honestly asking my God for a home where fellowship is the focus. Where evangelism happens, but fellowship is the focus. For women, multiple women, who desire the same thing.

Changes

2009-05-06T22:48:00.004-04:00

As you can see, I was feeling inspired to make some changes at this HUGE transition period of my life. So, what better place to start than my very own blog. Just trying to be a little simpler and get a little more of me out there in the colors.

I decided to go with the grass for a few different reasons. I am going green. Just kidding, not a reason, but trying to be a little greener every day. :) But really because I was reminded of the title of this blog, and the reason that I started it in the first place. I want to be conscious every day of the things that I have to rejoice about, because no matter how small or insignificant it may seem, God is using moments in my life to speak to me, giving me more than enough reason to rejoice daily. Something as small as the sun hitting the grass (as cheesy as that sounds), reminds me that God is just as picky about the small, seemingly insignificant aspects of this world as He is about the big ones - me being one of those seemingly insignificant parts.

So...I will ask for your opinion on the changes, though it probably won't change my mind unless it inhibits readibility, and even then, if you can't read as well its probably a good thing for you, huh?

Can you believe our God? I hate it that I read this stuff as if it is news to me. I know, I know, I KNOW that he made me so particularly, but I love being reminded of it.

Psalm 139:1-16

1O LORD, you have searched me
and you know me.

2You know when I sit and when I rise;
you perceive my thoughts from afar.

3You discern my going out and my lying down;
you are familiar with all my ways.

4Before a word is on my tongue
you know it completely, O LORD.

5You hem me in—behind and before;
you have laid your hand upon me.

6Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
too lofty for me to attain.

7Where can I go from your Spirit?
Where can I flee from your presence?

8If I go up to the heavens, you are there;
if I make my bed in the depths,[1] you are there.

9If I rise on the wings of the dawn,
if I settle on the far side of the sea,

10even there your hand will guide me,
your right hand will hold me fast.

11If I say, “Surely the darkness will hide me
and the light become night around me,”

12even the darkness will not be dark to you;
the night will shine like the day,
for darkness is as light to you.

13For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother's womb.

14I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.

15My frame was not hidden from you
when I was made in the secret place.
When I was woven together in the depths of the earth,

16your eyes saw my unformed body.
All the days ordained for me
were written in your book
before one of them came to be.

I won't pretend that this is a good post. :)

2009-05-06T18:44:00.002-04:00

I am done with college. Donezo. Finito. No mas universidad.

Strangely, I don't have much to say about it. I don't know if I really have any feelings about it one way or another...not yet at least. People tell me it hits ya come fall class time. We'll see. Today was also my last day of work at the after school program. I hate to leave there...I feel like it takes so much more time to even make a little dent in a kids life...more time than I have had to give.

I babysit tomorrow and then will probably be in Columbus Friday night saying goodbye to some friends going to intern at Saranac, and hitting up the Mariemont girls last regular season game in Columbus on Saturday morning. Senior week festivities start up on Saturday night with the riverboat dance on the Ohio, and then Kings Island on Sunday. I can't wait to just relish in the time I have with my friends this next week. What a crazy whirlwind. I am hoping to have many stories that are appropriate to share...about other people of course. Charles and I will be up to our usual antics, people watching while pretending to drink beer.

I have had some great great opportunities start to reveal themselves to me in terms of work in Charlotte, but for now I am trying ot focus on being here now, in Cincinnati, so that I do not lose the little time that I have left. Hopefully I will write a post soon that actually has some meat to it.

Married folk

2009-05-03T15:45:00.005-04:00

So, I decided to skip my last college class last Thursday...out of convenience...which leave only two finals left for my college career. American Sign Language test tomorrow at 4 and then a three page paper for my English elective. After being an English major for 4 years a three pager feels like a 25 point biology scantron from sophomore year of high school: breezy.

It was an interesting weekend. As I head into this new season of life, I am realizing that there is a very big part of it that I might not be ready for...people getting married, people MY AGE getting married. I have mixed reactions about this. On one hand it costs a pretty penny to have friends who get married, especially if wedding shower is a part of the deal. I have yet to experience the whole wedding party scenario that involves a dress, shoes, bachelorette party and so on, but I imagine this makes it even more expensive.

On the other hand, weddings involve such a slew of emotions. There is so much community excitement that the room feels like it is marinating in smiles. How could you not be happy? Plus all of the sentimental-ness that creates tears and an environment conducive to blossoming relationships aka wedding-meets.

Yesterday I got to go to my friend Khandice's wedding shower. She gets married in July, and straight after I went to see my friend Lauren get married here in Cincinnati. I know both of these women from YoungLife and they were both so wonderful to watch as they relished in their special days. I laughed and laughed at Khandice's shower, and shared in the ooh's and aah's as we watched her fiance's video message to the group. I just watched in wonder as Lauren and Brad were married, shedding my fair share of tears during the maid of honor speech and father daughter dance. This was just too emotional a day, especially for me, but I loved every minute of it. Even the slow dance when I slowly trickled back into the dining room with all of the high school kids in attendance.

Charles, the infamous guest blogger, was in rare form on the dance floor. He was a special guest of the mother of the bride to be in the can-can line for Abba's Dancing Queen. The music was funny and perfect, and hearing Brad serenade Lauren to Josh Turner's "Your Man" after stripping her of her garter was pricesless. Make sure you listen to this song. I sweated enough for a girls softball team and came away with only one burning hot coal that landed on my head during the giant sparkler exit by the couple.

But, seeing my beautiful friends in these special stages of their lives inevitably brings those dreaded longings into my head that I am so good at fending off. I pray that the Lord has a husband in my future, and I feel confident that I was not created to be a single girl for life, but it is not 100% easy to always wait and be patient. HOLD UP, WAIT A MINUTE. I am by no means saying that I want to get married, that I am in some sort of hurry, but I sometimes have a teensy weensy inkling for an itty bitty moment that gives me a taste of what that man will be like. I so admired how evident the love was between Khandice and Brian and Lauren and Brad. It was almost intrinsic in seeing them that this love stemmed from their individual love for Christ. How POWERFUL this love is...exponential.

For now. I'll sit on that...or this:

Another thing that put these little hankerings for a Christ-lovin' male in my life (this just sounded funny...I am also not DYING for a boyfriend) was going to the Mariemont Junior High play on Friday night. Adam, one of the boys I babysit for, was in Tom Sawyer. It never ceases to amaze me how quickly and pathetically I can turn into a High School Musical-loving-Zac Efron-worshipping preteen when I see two people kiss in person, particularly onstage. In this play, two 8th graders kissed...TWICE, and I had a front row seat. Clearly I was surprised that they let 8th graders kiss, but the surprise just made me giggle that much more and hit Audrey, the 10 year old girl that I babysit for, in the shoulder over and over trying to quietly release my disbelief. I am so immature.

Crazy

2009-04-29T12:04:00.002-04:00

Things are truly winding down around here in Cincinnati. Its a pretty scary feeling, but something that I cannot help but be so anxious about. Graduation from high school was no surprise, things were already planned out. Graduation from college is such a different story for me, but I am finding myself less nervous or worried than I had previously expected.

I find myself constantly wanting to spend time with my roommate of three years, Molly. I have been incessantly calling my Young Life girls in attempts to spend time together. I realize how much I will miss simple comforts like Allison's sarcasm and Charles' jokes. I am desparately trying to squeeze the life out of everything Cincinnati before I leave - this is includes but is not limited to UDF chocolate malts, Graeter's Buckeye Blitz, skyline, and probably things that are not food related (but really if you know me its probably food related).

I have had a roomate for 5 years now. Three of those years have been with Molly. It is so weird to think of my everyday life without her. Who knows when that reality will hit. Probably when I am forced to pick my own clothes out before going out with friends. haha

On the flip side, there are so many things about Carolina about which I am feeling such anticipation. Minus the pulled pork, sweet tea, lemonade and weather (see, food again), I am so excited for the next parts of the Lord's plan that he will reveal to me. I can't even begin to guess. I don't want to. One of my favorite verses says this:
"Look at the nations and watch—
and be utterly amazed.
For I am going to do something in your days
that you would not believe,
even if you were told. --Habakkuk 1:5

It's so crazy to think about, right?

Fun week.

2009-04-27T21:43:00.002-04:00

I get to have a pretty fun week starting tonight. I am "teenager-watching" (which is but isn't like babysitting). I get to spend the week with my friend Molly, not to be confused with my roomate Molly, while her mom is in South Carolina. I have known Molly for a couple years so am excited to just spend time with her.

In other news, my legs still itch. I have tried Benadryl and cortizone, as recommended by Aunt Diane and Aunt Karen, but am still seeing little change. I googled itchy legs and figured out a few more things I am going to try. An over the counter anti-something called lanacaine, and possibly putting hydrogen peroxide on my legs?

We'll see if the medical mystery is solved.

Smorgasborg

2009-04-25T11:15:00.002-04:00

FYI...this is my 101st post.

I have been a slacker lately on posting. There hasn't been a whole lot of new things going on in my life, but somethings of note:

God has been affirming over and over again that I am being obedient in making the move to North Carolina. Since I made the decision, I have had emails and calls from people involved in Young Life ministry down there. It has been very encouraging and made me so excited to continue on this journey with the Lord.

Spring has sprung in Cincinnati. I think I had a post a while back with the title "Spring has sprung," but I was mistaken. Today...it is for real. I woke up this morning to lawnmowers, college kids yelling, co-eds giggling, and birds going nuts. I slept with all three windows in my room open because I am trying to conserve our electricity usage. I woke up this mornign and thought I was in Kiawah. Growing up we used to always sleep with the windows open and fan on in the beach house. The light usually woke us up at some God-awful hour of the morning, but we were forgiving because it was the beach.

Lastly. I have two weeks left of undergrad. College is almost over. Finito. I get the point already. How do I feel? Pretty great. I will miss a select few people here who have come to be some of the best friends, but I don't know that Cincinnati was ever in the plan to be my home. My roomate Molly is moving down to Charleston, SC for the summer so we will not be rid of each other yet...thank the Lord. I can't even begin to imagine how weird it will be to live without her after living together for three years.

P.s. I think I may have a grass allergy. I have been outside these past two days playing with three year olds and getting a tan and have not stopped itching my legs since...any insight?

Today

2009-04-20T11:27:00.000-04:00

Isaiah 30:21 says,

"And your ears shall hear a word behind you, saying, 'This is the way, walk in it,' when you turn to the right or when you turn to the left."

So...here I come life. I'm walking.

So Much Love in One Place Has to Be a Crime

2009-04-20T10:37:00.006-04:00

This weekend was my Godmother's surprise 50th birthday party. Boy was she surprised! (lol) I cannot explain to anyone else what it feels like to be a part of such a loving family. My mom is one of ten and there are more than enough cousins to go around. So, these pictures will speak louder than my words...for once.Cousins: Michelle, Jessica, Becca and Danielle.
Jess, Me, Melissa, Danielle, Mary Frances
TAG IT. Jess, Danielle and Uncle Davey
It was a wonder I could even get into this kitchen.
Rachel Ray
gossip Girls.
I am an angel.
As per usual, I bring the entertainment.
Love of my life, Jessica.
Mary Frances' attempt at being totally awkward.
Sunning herself while we wait for the surprise.
Scroll down to this blog in December and you will see an identical photo.
This is dWan. She has her own salon. Called dWan's Salon. She was in charge of upper body spray tans for the weekend. $5 a pop.
My beautiful sister and beautiful cousin, Isabel. She is really smart and has her own blog here.
This is me telling Isabel the sad story of the day that an evildoer (my sister Danielle) tore off the ear of my beloved Fat Dog.

Alyson, Isabel, Jessica and Rebecca relaxing in Jessica's new "grown-up" room.

It could be worse.

2009-04-16T13:12:00.003-04:00

Hey party peopleee.

Although I have mentioned to most of you some vague details regarding my plan after graduation. I am moving in a direction that really has specifics and concrete itineraries. I have been emailing back and forth with the young life regional director of the Carolinas region. He currently lives in Charlotte, but is from Cincinnati and then was on staff in Columbus. I met Steve in January and decided to follow up with him about post-grad. He and his staff have been great about encouraging me in my search for God's will and have also gotten my resume around to their YL committee in Charlotte.

Two weeks ago I emailed Steve asking about any of his leaders needing roomates or wanting to sublease for the summer. He came back with a VERY generous offer. I expressed a few days ago taht I have been frustrated with the Lord because I haven't felt clarity or peace about what He wants for me after graduation. Part of the problem is that I feel entitled to have a job, and more so entitled to know God's plans for me. To quote my friend Adrienne, "I want to live in only God's plans," but I have nto had a clear answer of where He wants me. Adrienne recently shared with me a passage from Psalm 4 that made me just melt. God tells us a bajillion times that he will prosper those who fear him, who love him, who hold ot his covenant.

"The Lord is good and does what is right; he shows the proper path to those who go astray. He leads the humble in doing right, teaching them his way. The Lord leads with unfailing love and faithfulness..."

How encouraging to hear this from Adrienne, expecially good timing. Steve has offered me a free place ot stay in Charlotte for about 6 weeks. He will be gone from his home with his family for those 6 weeks and is offering me his "summer home," (otherwise known as the above the garage apartment) for the small price of me mowing his grass once a week. (Note: I have never mowed the lawn. I don't know how to use a lawn mower.) I was pretty apprehensive after having this offer really fall into my lap. I spent about 4 days praying and seeking the Lord while only mentioning this offer to two other people. When I headed home for the weekend, I still did not feel like I was getting clarity from the Lord. After talking to Laura, my friend and YL leader from high school, my parents and some friends from HS, I think it started to click. I kind of feel like Moses. God is promising me all the time that he will prosper me, but not promising that I will always be privy to his plans. God promised Moses and the Israelites the Promise Land and they had NO IDEA what they were in store for. God implored Moses only to "Go!" and Moses went.

I am ready to step out in obedience, to believe that the Lord will do a good work in me as I really put myself in a position where I MUST trust Him. So, May 20th I will be heading to Charlotte to begin what could be a great 6 week stint in an awesome city, or what could be the next long chapter of my life. I pray that I am ready to take what the Lord has for me and that I will face my fears with courage derived from Him.

Worst case scenario: I come back with a tan. :)

"It is definitly a crime for a Christian to be weak in God's strength."

2009-04-14T11:51:00.003-04:00

I have been pretty frustrated with God lately. To be honest. I feel like I have been trying to seek and look to Him for answers and direction regarding what I should do when I graduate. I do not want to make a decision without it being the Lord's plan. That is far scarier than staying put until I hear something clear. In the midst of this frustration, I probably have not been in the right posture to hear and really yield to what the Lord might share with me. Often times, what happens to me is that I get swept up in the rationale and decision making of many of my other college friends.

In My Utmost for His Highest this morning, Oswald Chambers remarks on how our Lord brings us to fellowship with him, only to hear us moan and groan, saying "Oh Lord, just let me be like other people!" Man, I am ridiculous sometimes. I consciously pray and seek freedom from things that enslaved me in the past, and as I am slowly granted release from these things as I grow in my faith and trust of the Lord, I find myself just like the Israelites who were freed from Pharaoh...whining and moaning because I just wish that sometimes I could take a break from being a "Christian" and live the "easy life." Yikes...it is crazy how well our world can sell us on its lies.

In Matthew 11:30 Jesus says, "My yoke is easy and my burden is light..." Chambers says, "Our Lord is asking us to get beside him and take one end of the yoke, so that we can pull together." Lord, I just pray that my complaining about a job and a future (that you have already promised to prosper - Jeremiah 29:11) would turn into praise for you. I pray to know the strength of my God by taking up the yoke of Jesus.

I have made some decisions about next year. They will come at you soon. And rather than sitting around whining about not hearing clear words from God, I am going to be obedient to his call to Moses to "Go!" I trust that He will reveal His plan as I begin to take up the yoke of Christ and learn from His strength. God's love is crazy.

Dodging the Holy Water Shower

2009-04-12T20:34:00.002-04:00

I follow this blog called Stuff Christians Like. John, the guy who writes it, is getting a book published by Zondervan and is pretty funny. His sarcasm and humor really ease the truth of a lot of things that we Christians really do like. Anyway, I went to Catholic mass this morning for Easter. It has been a reeeeeeaally long time since I went to mass at home. I can't even remember when it was. I typically fight and argue about where we go to church as a family (because I am loud and opinionated...and obnoxious), but I went to River Ridge for Good Friday and I didn't really make a stink about it until afterwards. (I won't let this post be about my beef with mass...won't).

Anyway. to connect all of this. Stuff Catholics Like. My brother, sisters and I, for as long as I can remember, do anything possible to get each other in trouble or create funny distractions during mass. This morning was one of those rare moments when we did not have to create a distraction, but the priest did it for us. Catholics do this thing a few times a year, I am not sure of all of the occasions, where they "re-baptize" the church with the holy water from the baptismal fount. There are variations of this action, using different weapons to disperse the water, but this morning went as follows.

The deacon had a little silver bowl with holy water in it, and a little green branch for scattering, Now I refer to this branch as a weapon because, really, it is. He proceeded to make his way around the congregation and shake the wet branch onto the parishoners. Now, the best part of this whole scene is watching other people's reactions. The funniest of these reactions is those people who are trying to be serious throughout the whole thing. They are usually closest to the weapon and get the most soaked. They end up with water on their glasses, hair and all over their clothes and are trying way to hard to keep a straight face. Our family on the other hand doesn't even attempt to take this seriously.

Today, my mom was on the end of the aisle and got the dousing. I had the great opportunity to dodge the water shower by crouching behind Becca. I got my few drops and avoided a see through white shirt, and wet hair sticking to my forehead. All in the name of good church humor.

The top 11 reasons why I love being at home.

2009-04-09T21:50:00.005-04:00

Ahhh. Home sweet home.

Here are few luxuries that I have already enjoyed since getting home today at 5 PM that I do not get to enjoy while living in my jankity apartment in Cincinnati:

1. When I enter my house, I take my coat off, not put more layers on.
2. When I flush my toilet, I don't have to stand there and watch it to make sure it doesn't overflow.
3. I don't have to go to a friends house to use their toilet when I wake up in the morning and have to pee (see #2).
4. There is fresh fruit and vegetables to be had by all.
5. I prefer leftovers. They are good food. And I haven't been trying to finish them for 5 days on my own.
6. I don't worry about who I am going to go out with because my mom will hang out with me instead.
7. I don't have to be anywhere. And I am never lonely.
8. haha...my dad compliments me (this is here mainly because he just said it and it was funny). Example:
Jaclyn: Dad, I want to learn fly fishing with you. Me knowing how to do things that boys like makes me a better wife prospect.
Dad: Honey, you are a perfect wife prospect. And not just because you are my daughter.
9. There are two dogs at home and none in Cincinnati. (SIKE, if you know me you know that this is my least favorite thing about being home).
10. I don't have to leave my room to rinse my hands, dump out my contact solution, brush my teeth, or wash my hair.
11. I don't have to carry my laundry basket down 3 flights of stairs to wash my clothes.

In other news, I found a dress for senior ball. Not that this was weighing heavy on anyone's mind or anything, just thought I would let you know. No speeding tickets on the drive home...woohoo!

Stealing post ideas is a forte of mine.

2009-04-07T10:38:00.004-04:00

Adrienne, I am close to making 100 posts as well. Who would've thought? (though realistically, if you know me, you know that I always have something to say. So maybe this is not so much of a surprise?)

Anyway. today I will be stealing one of the most hilarious ideas in the blog world. My friend Pierce, a victory-lapper at OSU, has a blog and a great sense of humor. He and a friend have come up with a really great way to bide time on the interweb that doesn't consist of online shopping (my typical and dangerous choise of interweb time biding).

This my friends is the coveted Top 10 Facebook Status's of the morning (would have been better to do this yesterday when Sean Miller accepted the Arizona coaching job, but nonetheless...). Now, if you don't have facebook, you may not be familiar with the absurdity and audacity of some, but it is healthy and thriving. That being said, in no particular order...

1. --there is snow on the ground, and I'm going for a swim. (Reeeeeally? but not really.)
2. --is getting sponsored by NIKE in August. (congrats, but really...is this something that you feel is meant to be shared with the entire interweb, or slowly leaked by you on purpose via real friends?)
3. --it's snowing and cold...i blame sean miller (spoke too soon, the Sean Miller drama is not over because apparently he is like one of those weather wizards in those old Christmas movies.)
4. --thinks Xavier should try to go after Rudy Tomjanovic. [Insert Kermit Washington joke] (This is probably funnier to boys who know about sports)
5. --Snow in April?? Whatever happened to the whole "Global Warming" issue? (are you asking for global warming?)
6. -- feels like he's in a foreign place when he wakes up at 7am. But it feels good. Spitting out some papers today before the big trip to Chi-town! You can find me at the Starbucks, it's going down! (I love that this person inserted a rap song into a starbucks reference)
7. --no wonder my allergies are so jacked up down here...30 degrees when I wake up and 75 degrees by noon. Stupid Texas. (couldn't help but think about being jacked up on mt. dew, but seeing as how it is snowing in OH - as referenced by pervious status udpates - id take 75 by noon any day)
8. --its balls cold outside. (I never got the whole "balls" reference as a point of comparison for most things).
9. --I am not used to working 13 hour days, I better be getting free Jelly out of this (this is not as funny to me because I know what this person's job is, but to everyone else, probably hilarious).
10. The following two posts are from the same person...only two hours apart.
--Why would you go to a team that has lost every best recruit to Europe or other schools and the team you have built will be one the best teams or the Best team in Xavier's history? Have fun trying to build up a program again...
--No one should hate Sean for going to a job that he will make double or more then now.. Who wouldn't want to make that much at one the most well know basketball programs in the nation...This was going to happen, and he didn't publicly say he was definitely staying...Thanks for the 5 years and good luck...

This is not even close ot Pierce's caliber...but fun to do

I am so not "College"

2009-04-06T17:37:00.004-04:00

I have been slacking lately. One blog every four days does not satisfy my desire to go back and read these every few months.

I came to a realization this weekend: I am SO not COLLEGE. I am a college student, but in the social sense of the word, I don't know that I live up to the hype of the stereotype (although I am not college, I am a rhymer). Now don't get me wrong, I am not saying this to express any sadness at not being "cool" enough to be considered "College," nor do I want to show disdain for anyone who thinks that they are. I decided my freshmen year of college that I wanted my next four years to look different from most. I guess technically you could say that I decided on June 13, 2003 that I wanted my life to look different until the day that I met my Maker. When I decided to give my life to Christ, I signed on for a different way of thinking, a belief in something not tangible, and in turn for a life that looked different from a lot of the stereotypes that our world has set forth.

Despite the fact that I consciously made these decisions to not be "College." I find myself time and time again in situations where I can be tempted to really dishonor the will of God. I am learning, slowly, my capacity to resist these temptations, and my triumphs and realizations affirm that God is continually working in me. This weekend was the Spring version of the bi-yearly Xavier University Pong Madness Tournament. This whole she-bang is a play on the March madness going on consisting of 64 two-man teams playing for the title of...what? Best beer pong duo on campus. It doesn't get much more "College" than that, right? It was a really nice day outside, so between hitting golf balls, lunch, snack at yagoot and a movie later on taht evening, I walked across the street and through some backyards to mingle with some friends who were out enjoying the weather, and participating in the "tourney."

I had such a good time hanging out with some friends who I haven't really spent much time with since my freshie year. I realized that the trend for MOST (not all) is to become less "College" the older you get. So, it was good to hang out with senior friends, especially realizing that I know so few people now that I am a senior. I got pretty worked up watching these dumb games. Why...im competitive. Ridiculous though. Embarrassing really. I realized how worked up I can get over petty things and felt really silly. Because of this I didn't let myself go back over ot hang out after showering. Instead I went to the movies with a friend. Better to not let myself be in those situations where I will say something dumb...and..."college." I just realized though how my desires and things I enjoy doing are so different from so many of my college friends...and I don't feel left out. There were times that I felt like I might be missing out on something, but the Lord has really proven to me that I am better off the way that I am. And I speak for no one else here. God has a plan for each of us, and He works however and whenever He chooses.

This probably made little to no sense. lol

Funny things

2009-04-02T20:56:00.002-04:00

So I have been a little disheartened lately that I don't have all that much to share on here. I was explaining to Chad today that I do not feel disheartened about not having something interesting for the reader's sake, but for my own. As I expressed in my last entry, I love ot have these posts to look back at, even a few weeks down the road. So, I like to get as much down on the screen as I can.

Today was funny because I babysit on Thursdays. I have been babysitting for the same four kids for three years now. Boy 13, boy 11, girl 9, and boy 3 and a half. Let's be realistic here: when your three, the half matters.

Today Nolan, the youngest, got down from dinner because he had to go to the bathroom. He came back with his tshirt lifted up over his stomach proclaiming, "I need help." At which point I noticed that he didn't quite get his pants pulled up over his nether regions and his little tush was sticking out the back. At which point HE mooned me and giggled. I of course caught it on my camera phone for his parents. While Nolan played for a little in his room I got a chance ot sit down with the three big kids while they asked me about what I will do once I graduate. I get the feeling that they might be a little sad that I am leaving. Makes it even harder. It was so neat to sit down and have them ask such grown up questions. Weird too. I guess I really can't wait to be a mom. But really, I can.

Prayer me luck...but really..wish me prayer

2009-03-29T22:42:00.003-04:00

Not much to talk about because I feel like I am kind of at a standstill in my life right now. I hesitate to call this a dry place, or a valley, but moreso...arid? and plateau. Things move like clockwork for the most part from day to day, and my future is still a big question mark. If you know me at all, and if I am being honest, this big looming question mark (which is really what I am trying NOT to see it as) is a big pain in the you know what for me. I spoke in an earlier post about feeling entitled to certain things because I have worked hard with what I ascertain to be my God-given talents. I am trying so hard to stop clinging to this feeling. It truly enslaves me and I feel like it is really clouding my vision right now.

I read a verse in proverbs about a week ago that I keep thinking of. Proverbs 25:2 says this:
"It is the glory of God to conceal a matter;
to search out a matter is the glory of kings."

Man, I can't help but ask myself EVERY DAY why in the world I have to know God's plans for me. Why am I so convinced that He is hiding something from me that in all actuality, and realness in this big dumb world, I really NEED to and SHOULD be privy to. (excuse me ending a sentence in a preposition). Part of God being God is that he does things His way, and if I want to experience my life to the fullest on this wretched Earth, I gotta let Him. Sometimes I convince myself that when God isn't giving me concrete answers to prayers, or peace about a matter, that I am able to make the best decision on my own anyway. I need to be reminded of this verse every day. I ope it haunts me until the day I die because by golly, part of God's power is knowing what we don't have to know.

Why, oh WHY do I need to know so bad. Why can't I just trust that no plan of my own could come close ot hitting a homer out of the park like God's? In the meantime, I am trying to be still and rest and just pray about this question mark (not so looming this time). I am going to publish all of the questions eating at me about this question mark right here in this blog post and I am leaving them here for good. God answers web-prayers too, I am convinced. So here they are: Will I have a job? How will I get insurance? Where will I live if I don't get a job? Do I take a job outside of "the South" if that is really where my heart is set? What do I do in the meantime of waiting to hear about any openings, or waiting for word from the Lord? Do I move home this summer or try to sublease somewhere warm and begin establishing connections by volunteering or wokring part time at a non-profit while also waitressing or something else for money? How will I pay my rent? What will I do if I move back to Charleston? YIKES. These are a lot. Do you see why it is a big question mark. I am leaving this stress and anxiety here, and I am going to rest in the lap of God while He chooses when and how to reveal His plan for me.

Prayer me luck (kinda like wish me luck but one trillion times better).

I think I want to revise this to wish me prayer...after I think about it...so...yea.

Renovating my life.

2009-03-25T23:56:00.003-04:00

In case you did not see my facebook status, I did some INTENSE cleaning and rearranging of furniture today. I had a morning that was all ME and God, then some time on here blogging thoughts and relaxing a bit with Molly, but by 130 I was in full gear. I had no obligations/responsibilities today...hear that? NONE. This was the first time in a VERY long time.

So, now I will show you some pictures of the new room arrangements in the NEW and CLEAN living room and my bedroom. I even washed my sheets and dusted.
After seeing this setup, I decided that when I move into my own place I might need a big girl bed. Thoughts? Plus this thing barely holds all my stuffed animals. Ironic?
The new living room setup allows for us to take more advantage of both couches because they both have better views. I did not have intentions to move it around, but I got in the vacuuming mode and wanted to move all furniture to vacuum under it - and this what I ended up with.

Rainy Day

2009-03-25T13:52:00.003-04:00

After a few uncharacteristically enjoyable days of Cincinnati weather, the rain is back to stay. Had rain all last night and after staying up until 2 am watching Rob Dyrdek's Fantasy Factory, I slept in until 10:30 this morning because of the rain. Mind you, I have no obligations today other than our church small group tonight at 8 with my high school girls. I had a great morning just spending time in the word and prayer. I have been in a pretty frustrated place lately when it comes to prayer. I have been met, through several different mediums, with the call to prayer. I feel like I have been answering this call, numerous different times as of late, and I don't feel like I am getting answers from the Lord about the things that I am praying about.

This morning I specifically sat down to praise, repent, ask and yield. I have been specifically looking for any sort of clarity or peace about my after graduation situation, and I feel frustrated because I don't think that the Lord has been revealing this to me. I am honest about this because God knows what I am thinking anyway, and if I am not honest, that frustration and denial stands as a bigger hindrance between me and the Lord. SO, this morning, I felt very convicted by the Lord in what I believe was direct word from Him...and it had nothing to do with what I wanted answers about. Fancy that, God has his own agenda.

I have a sneaky and cunning part of me that creeps up every once in a while that makes em feel entitled to things...in this case I have felt entitled to some answers because time is fast approaching and I have been trying hard to look for God's will. But He has some different ideas for me now. This is hard to swallow, but I felt so reassured this morning that I heard the Lord's voice speaking to me about something. I don't think that I ever doubt that he is there listening, but it helps to be reminded that he is also speaking back if I just shut up and listen.

So...as much as I hate rain. Thanks for the rain today God.

So on a completely unrelated note...I locked my keys in my car on Monday.
I have become notorious for this since getting my car sophomore year of college. In the first year of having my car, I locked my keys in my car 8 different times. This resulted in several calls to local police stations, in my roommate having to skip a class to bring me my keys, and on Monday in my first call to AAA. Now, this past Christmas my parents purchased a hide-a-key that goes under my car so that if I do lock myself out I can easily fix the situation. I went running on Saturday and just used the hide a key, so that I wouldn't have to run with my keys. I neglected to put it back. So on Monday, I got out of my car with just my cell phone and had it locked from the inside, keys still in the on position in the ignition, and the hide a key sitting on my front seat inside my car.

After calling Norwood police and finding out that they do not have the tools to jimmy the keys out of my car, they suggested a locksmith. I declined this gracious $75 offer after I remembered that I have AAA. This has been the gift taht really keeps on giving. In the past 2 months AAA has changed my tire, gotten me a zoo discount, gotten me a travel discount, and gotten my keys out of my car for free. So, I wait on the front porch, up rolls AAA and sure enough, he gets the car unlocked in one little swipe. Congratulations to me for being to resourceful.

St. Theres's Prayer

2009-03-23T18:03:00.002-04:00

This is a really awesome prayer that my mom sent to me in a chain email a while back. Typically I sift through those and delete them pretty graciously, but I am really glad I stopped on this one. No other explanation needed. This prayer speaks for itself.

St. Theresa's Prayer

May today there be peace within.
May you trust that you are exactly where you are meant to be.
May you not forget the infinite possibilities that are born of faith in yourself and others.
May you use the gifts that you have received and pass on the love that has been given you.
May you be content with yourself just the way you are.
Let this knowledge settle into your bones, and allow your soul the freedom to sing, dance, praise and love.
It is there for each and every one of us.

Okay. Have a good day:)

Few pictures.

2009-03-23T10:53:00.004-04:00

Some of you have probably already seen these photos but I figured I would put up some pics taken last week when the sibs were here. Let me say that I think my brother is as comfortable with his sexuality as my dad, which is why he too can be secure putting on a face mask to exfoliate. Anything to appease his nagging sisters.

Big sis.

2009-03-18T23:13:00.002-04:00

Much to say after having Becca and Robert here. It is 11:13 PM and they are both out cold. Though this picture doesn't make much sense. We did the zoo for 3 hours, then I worked for five. While I worked, they both got in naps, and Becca made us dinner. Then we got yogoot and played speed scrabble with Charles and Natalie, and THEY are tired. I have not stopped. Plus I washed dishes. I am just older. Later bedtime. Always been the oldest and some things never change (yes I realize it is not possible to change me being the oldest...for the sake of the reference). I love being a big sister.

Will blog more tomorrow after they hit the road. For now I will join them in slumber. Expect some great pics tomorrow!

That's My Dad

2009-03-17T10:06:00.003-04:00

My dad is comfortable with his sexuality. He and my mom have been married either 23 or 24 years this coming April, and I'd say that he has proven that he is a straight married man. Now that I have set this up so that he can't totally hate me for posting this picture...here comes the story.

My sister Becca sent me a picture via cell phone text yesterday evening, a picture that prompted ample amounts of LOL'ing. After seeing said picture, I asked her how sneaky she could be in taking the same picture on my dad's iphone so that it could be emailed to me and uploaded on the web. She is, of course, the sneakiest out of the four of us (best at finding out and keeping secrets, and also very aware of the going's on of most people in Charleston - that is why her hair is so big). So, because of her sweet-talking and perceived innocent naivete, she was able to come up with this.

Behold, my dad getting a pedicure with his youngest daughter. I suppose this is what Jessica meant by father daughter bonding? Exactly what I had in mind too. I salute you Mr. So Comfortable With Yourself That You Are Not Embarrassed To Get a Pedicure. That's my dad.

In case you were wondering...

2009-03-16T11:39:00.004-04:00

I have realized that as the months go on, I am increasing the number of websites/email services that I check on a daily basis. I get bored easily and for the amount of time I spend on the computer I am always interested in new fun blogs to follow or new websites that are of interest.

I am currently web maneuvering between (in no specific order):

Facebook (of course)
Twitter (this is new for me because of urging from friends, but becoming scary addicting. It may require some Lenten abstinence)
Blogger (where I think I follow about 26 blogs - not all of them active - cough - PIERCE - cough...plus I get to check and see it anyone has commented on my blog. For instance the picture of my messy room didn't get as much attention as I had thought it would.)
My Xavier Email (soon to be null and void!)
My NEW Gmail account (jaclynchristinethomas@gmail.com)
Weather.com (various cities)

My new favorite thing has become job searching websites. Oh wait, did I say favorite? I mean LEAST favorite.

So...I am not sure of the purpose of this post. In case you were wondering? LOL

Spring Has Sprung

2009-03-15T15:58:00.002-04:00

There is currently a glare on my computer screen that I am pretty happy about. I have my window behind my desk open and the shun is shining. It smells like outside in here. Perfecto.

I have been pretty stressed out lately about some stuff that I have just been refusing to surrender to the Lord. This refusal to surrender has not been totally conscious, but finding a job and making a decision about spending money on a graduation trip are two things that I try to control. Decision making always seems to be a big part of my life that I cannot surrender. I am so consumed with having ideas of my own and jumping on board for things before I really take the chance to sit down and pray about them. This job thing is turning out to actually be as bad as people have been saying, and I have been spending the last 24 hours just really TRULY trying to give up my fears and restlessness about it.

The weather helps, but I am already feeling a greater peace about it. A woman that I babysit for asked for me resume to pass on to people that she is involved with in the non-profit world too....just this afternoon. Already God is proving to me that I need to and can only find joy in trusting Him.

Spring in Cincinnati makes me appreciate it 100x more. There are so many college kids out on their porches and friends yelling and chatting in the street. As much as I love fall, Spring has the promise of summer to go along with it. So, here it is folks. Spring has officially sprung in Cincinnati.

Technology at its greatest.

2009-03-13T12:04:00.002-04:00

I have just signed on for the latest in Stalker Technology...well...the latest to me. Caroline Fontenot, a dear friend from summer staff who I mention on here periodically because she is a great photographer with a sweet blog, sent me an email at my request explaining to me the ins and outs of this new fangled technology: Twitter. Anyone who is interested can follow my updates on their computer...or be notified of what I am doing every minute of the day via text. It is a phenomenom that I am still skeptical of, but famous people do this thing.

That is what the new widget on the side of my blog is for. Twitter seems kind of like mini blogging to me. Caroline informs me I only get 140 words each time I "tweet."

Wanna know the best part? My BFF Danny Gokey from American Idol has it. Found him on Caroline's friends and I LOVE that.

Okay. I will give you updates on my feeling about Twitter later on today or tomorrow. My house is freezing because the heat is off and my fingers can barely move to type.

Pee ess. My Grandpa has facebook now. I love that even more. Can't wait until he is a tweeter!

I. Need. A. Job.

2009-03-11T18:33:00.002-04:00

So. "Because of the economy right now" I am currently on the waiting list for the job that I applied for in Charlotte, NC. The organization will not know until min-April how many spots that they are allotted per state from Americore.

That being said, and after some extensive research over the past few days, I need your help. I am enlisting readers of my blog to.....

Okay I am kidding because we all know that there are about 5 jobs out there to be had and I don't exactly have specialized skills that are not otherwise disposable when people need to cut back. I still really desire to move to NC, but I am not sure how much confidence I have in moving there without a job. Scary that living at home might become more and more of a reality? But, I keep looking and pray for the best. I know that the Lord will provide in the long run, but I am impatient, so I am working on that.

Just a few pictures for your enjoyment.

2009-03-09T12:23:00.002-04:00

Clearly I am a kayaking beast.
Oh hey big, smelly, washed up jelly fish. These things were HUMONGOUS and everywhere.
Cliche sunset pic
times two.
Allison and I with an unidentified Reds' player (Bolivar...free agent?). One of the two who actually gave in to Allison's heckling.

Florida/Cincinnati Edition: Volume 6

2009-03-08T23:15:00.002-04:00

I am back in Cincinnati. I am home. In my apartment. Just 12 hours ago I was sitting on the shores of the Gulf. Sad...especially because I have a paper due Tuesday that has not been started. Take home midterm if we are getting technical. We had about an hour of delays flying home today. Spent 4 hours thinking we were on the plane as Marty Brennaman, the announcer for the Reds. Talked to him, snuck taking his picture on the cell phone, texted it to friends...the whole nin yards. Turns out...not him. Good thing we did't ask. Talk about embarrassing.

Hope to get some definite news about the Charlotte job tomorrow. Prayers appreciated :)

Florida pictures to come...

Florida Edition: Volume 5

2009-03-07T22:32:00.002-05:00

We leave Florida tomorrow. Since Allison has been telling me that I look like the girls that work at the tanning bed, I might be ready to get out of the direct sun for a while. I have never had this many freckles. We will be hitting the beach tomorrow around 10 and coming in around 2 so leave for the airport by 330 for our flight that leaves at 450 from Sarasota. That was a lot of times. Keep up...

Last night was ridiculous. We played Monopoly for 4 hours with three young children. Allison and I, her aunt and uncle, and their three kids. Winner: Eli...age 7. No special treatment, in fact, we tried to take advantage of his naivete at the beginning and he ends up with bank. I hate Monopoly, mostly. I am not aggressive when it comes to playing, and 5 day long games in Kiawah really ruined it for me. Dane Cook we are on the SAME page. Afterwards Allison and I hit karaoke to bask in the 15 minutes of fame that the Sarasota/Siesta Key locals thrive on. Our own little version of American idol, without and star cred or celebrities involved. Absolutely hilarious.

We kayaked in the Bay today (otherwise known as the intercoastal). It is separate from the Gulf and ultimately flows into it. Lots of manatees when it is warmer and MANY MANY pelicans. disgust. We got pretty close to a dolphin, which was awesome. Basically I petted it, but not really. Got in some pool time with kids later in the afternoon, then babysat this eve so Allison's aunt and uncle could go out to eat. This was GREAT for me because it mean ice cream. After ice cream we took the kids out on the beach to check out the stars. I will never be unamazed by the stars. When I can see a full sky with little lighting I never EVER question anything that the Lord does on thsi earth. Talk about perspective. I just feel so small. It is so cliche, but the cold soft sand, sound of waves and smell of the breeze at night on a beach make it holy to me. I mentioned to Allison that I just couldn't imagine not living near a beach for the duration of my life once I am out of Cincinnati. I think I really mean it. I want to drag my family there.

Something else I love: experiencing things with kids. They are so amazed and enamored by things that are simple. It makes everything that much more unbelievable and new for me as well. CRAZY....just crazy. It had been years since I had been to the beach with young kids and thiese past couple days have been so fun, just seeing how they experience and react to things they do and see. Faith like a child. Jesus said it right ( as if he needs my affirmation).

Florida Edition: Volume 4

2009-03-06T09:21:00.002-05:00

Today is our second to last FULL day at the beach and our second day with kiddos here. Yesterday afternoon Allison's Aunt Emily, her husband David, and their three kids arrived. They met us out on the beach and totally revamped our afternoon. We both welcomed the small change of pace - getting up from our chairs to venture to the water and playing in the pool with three swimmy kids.

Back up one day though for a good story. Allison and I decided to go out for the first time on Wednesday night. By "go out" I mean we had intentions to actually stay out past 9 PM and have at least one adult beverage. We got all ready, blow dried our hair, put on something other than bathing suits and boxer shorts and began the trek to "the Village." It is important that you know that we had really planned ahead for this trip. We had to leave the house before sunset because we had a bit of a trek ahead of us. Seeing as how we have no car, (which you know about if you have already read about our bike ride to the Reds game) we had to walk the 1.5-2 mile beach front walk, then head to the pavement to finish it off. We opted to walk the beach so we could see the sunset and as a consequence for this intelligent decision our feet began to freeze off. I definitely stepped on a sharp shell, bled profusely, but didn't feel a thing because my feet had frozen to the point of gangrene and I no longer needed feeling in them.

After an hour and a half, and a foot defrost we had worked up an appetite, only to find that our table choice was minimal. We ended up sitting outside near the sidewalk for people watching...worth the cold. Not 6 feet from us was a table of two gentlemen. As soon as we sat the older looking man commented that we would regret our seat choice because they had been sitting there and moved because of the wind. I assured them we would be fine and he told us that whenever we got cold we could join them at their table.

During the course of our evening we were visited by three ghosts (really just people but I liked the Charles Dickens "A Christmas Carol" reference): San Diego DUI, Freckle Monster, and the Contractors of America. Older men seem to think that we are approachable. The San Diego DUI proceeded to tell us that he was moving to Florida to avoid the 18 month no driving sentence for his DUI. In Florida he only has to do 6 months service. He is also looking for a good deal on a condo, but the people offering it got in a fight and chased him off. Later on, the Freckle Monster (female, approximate age: 55) proceeded to tell us about her "best friend" who was adamant about "banging" all of her boyfriends..."Some best friend, huh?" Her current boyfriend had bought a tie-dye kit, like Allison, and made her a homemade tie-dye shirt. He was wearing his. She proceeded to "hiss" like a cat at her "best friend" in order to prove her territorial instincts since she did not want another one of her children to sleep with said "best friend." Really, is there something in my gaze, my forehead, do I have a tattoo that I don't know about that says, "Yes, I would love to have a conversation about your deep personal life and offer you obvious and intelligent advice that I know you will not even listen to as you lean on my shoulder and breathe your beer breath in my ear." Someone alert me to whatever signifier I have.

Shortly after she stumbled from our table the Contractors of America asked us for the 6th and final time if we would like to join us at their table. I insisted again that we were just fine, and he finally worked up the courage...liquid form...to just insist that they move to our table instead. Really? Come to find out they are at some work conference and just met each other on Monday. Names and ages: Andrew 32, married, two kids...and CRENSHAW, 24, forever cursed with a name that sounds like a piece of heavy construction equipment. Slightly ridiculous people. Insistent on paying our bill...why? Why do some people do that? You just met me, why would you want to pay my $70 dinner bill? There is no stream of logic that makes sense here.

Rest of the night was slightly less uneventful, but I did hear the joke that about sums up this vacation. This joke comes from the singer of The Marvins, a live duo at Captain Curts...approximate age: 70, drum player. And the joke is:

One night I met a girl who told me I was a dirty old man...I said, "Hey, I'm not old!"

Florida Edition: Volume 3 Allison

2009-03-04T10:32:00.003-05:00

It is getting rather late in the morning, and the sun is out...so Allison is going to make this quick.

Well to back track on Jaclyn & I's experience so far...

Sunday was an eventful day.. We road bikes to the Reds v Yankee's game at Ed Smith Stadium.(A grand-slam W for the Reds) We stood against the fence most of the game to chat with the players, or with ourselves since they never really responded. After each inning players normally walk right in front of where we were standing, not only to come talk to us but on their way to their locker room as well. So we saw all these famous people whom we had no idea one of their names. I am a big Cincinnati fan, by that I mean I enjoy going to the sporting events and know nothing really about the teams, and decided maybe the Reds players were as well, so I yelled "Who Dey" to them after their big win against the Yankees, hardly did they find this entertaining, oh well - JT and I did... But then there are some players who come over to the edge of the fence and sign autographs, take pictures etc. We got 2 pictures with players & one of the pictures we have no idea who the man is.. Couldn't see a number or last name anywhere.. oh well. So then we road back through the village.

We are staying at one end of Siesta Key and the village/public beach is at the other, all of 2 mile difference. I wanted to go to the sunset at the public beach since the hippies come out at "beat down the sun" on sunday nights. It was an experience I will not forget. Lots of people dancing around like they could be on some drug, but may not be and this is just their natural spirit. Very interesting, JT has video's she can post.. Word's can not describe these characters but it was a lot of fun and hilarious to watch.

Tuesday night, we went to Captain Curt's, restaurant/bar near the condo.. We were pleasantly surprised with a Beatle's cover band, (JT particularly captivated by the lead singers studded bell bottom jeans) "the Fab Three" who decided to play 4 by adding a girl to the band, v interesting. The girl had the lowest voice of them all. But they were great and fun to watch, until this man decided to sit down with Jaclyn and I. His name is Lauren, and he is by far the creepiest man I have ever come across in the 22 years of coming to Siesta Key. He had this creepy constant chuckling laugh, and asked to sit with us. Thinking it was a harmless situation I said sure, then when he decided to try and talk to us the whole entire time it ruined the Beatles experience. Come to find out Lauren owns a coin collecting business, owning his own business is great, he gets to work his own hours. He also buys scrap gold (like the commercial), which is just great as well. He believes his business is "recession-proof" & just loves it. (all with little chuckles in between each statement). He is friends with the guitar player, Michael (studded jeans and fake british accent) - who when the band went on a break hardly acted as if they were friends. Michael used to work for Lauren... scrapping gold I assume. Lauren asked where we stayed, how long, etc. Made sure to tell him only 1 more day and a complex at the other end of the island - ur welcome Mrs. Thomas. Jaclyn got a kick out of telling him she was studying chemistry....far from the truth.. I was trying to get the waitress to get our bill to get out of there. The night we met Lauren may have been one of the most rowdy nights in Siesta Key, but we are hitting up the village tonight, and who knows what locals will be there..... Until then, stay warm. hahaha

Florida Edition: Volume 2

2009-03-03T17:20:00.002-05:00

I am going to keep this blog short because Allison has promised to fill you in later on tonight. We are having a great time and the weather is warming up. It has been windy, but sunny, so we have been relinquished pool side because it is too chilly on the beach. Supposed to get warm again tomorrow, so I hope to spend much of the day on the beach. We have been really relaxing and getting reading done. I am tan, but more so just relaxed and rested. I woke up this morning and it was warm enough to sit on the balcony with a towel over my legs. I dove into the Reset book for the all church journey and did the first prompt. This week is entitled something about God not being fair...maybe...Reset you view of God's unfairness?

We were asked to write about a time when we felt like we had gotten the short end of the stick...when we thought that someone else got something good while we had to deal with the loss of something we wanted. I was able to think of this pretty quickly. I realized that I am still hanging on to feelings of unfairness and being cheated by God for something that happened over a year ago. I realized that I had never written it down and really hadn't faced it. It was refreshing to really be honest with myself and with the Lord, and I was encouraged that in this church journey I wanted to really know what assumptions about God I had gathered along my faith journey. Maybe this is one. Maybe I feel entitled. How refreshing to face this and start moving forward.

I peeked ahead for tomorrow and I am challenged to write the story about this time when I felt unfairness from the other person's point of view. Interesting challenge.

Florida Edition: Volume 1

2009-03-01T11:33:00.005-05:00

AH. Our first full day in Florida. Arrived yesterday to the Sarasota Airport around 1115. Grabbed a taxi (horrible driver - New York style - almost hit another car in the first 2 miles), and stopped by the condo to drop luggage, then headed straight over to lunch. Maybe the best cheeseburger I have ever had. Melted cheese, two pattie's...they even boasted best burger on the beach...I buy it.

It got up to 79 degrees yesterday. Allison and I were both pretty tired from getting up so early, but she especially had only slept for about 2 hours over the course of the past two days because of a Finance test. So, we both behaved accordingly and fell asleep on the beach. Allison slept a good 2.5 hours while I was off and on, doing some reading and walking in between. Also accordingly, we fried. I realized early enough that my face isn't too bad yet, but Allison's arms and legs are pretty spicy red. God granted us some relief and we've got clouds today. It is pretty windy here and rained this morning. Just supposed to stay cool today. Pretty convenient because we are headed to the Reds v. Yankees game today on bikes. Game is at 1:05 and Allison woke up approximately...37 minutes ago...at 11. That was only after I tried making lots of noise, walking in and out of the room, shuffling around in the bathroom. Finally I opened the blinds and she scolded me for not waking her up sooner. Oops...didn't realize that you silencing your alarm 5 times in a row meant that you were ready to get up.

No sweat though. I realized that she needed sleep and I got a lot of things done this morning. I am TOTALLY my mother's daughter in lots of ways, but this morning it was so clear. I woke up early at the beach...not as early as mom (8:30)...realized it was raining so stayed inside. I read some of my book, started a grocery list, cut up some fruit, got the internet working, loaded the dishwasher, wrote Becca a letter, and cleaned up some of our stuff from yesterday.

Last night, our first saturday night of senior year in college Spring break, Allison and I WILED out. We: went to the grocery for a few essentials before hitting the big grocery today; cut and ate veggies, cheese and hummus; fixed a whole world map puzzle; watched a few episodes of my first home on TLC; went to bed at 1030 PM. Talk about ROWDY. I miss you guys. Something so different about doing a beach trip without family. The sand here is pristine white, and blue water...not exactly South Carolina, huh? Love it just the same though. Sun is sun and the beach is the beach to me. Wish y'all could be here!

SLEEP-IN

2009-02-26T09:03:00.003-05:00

Sooooooooooo...I just woke up at 8:45...i presumably was going to attend class at 8:30...

Cause and Effect would tell you: I unknowingly turned off my alarm, overslept, and considered it useless to get ready in five minutes only to be 30 minutes late for class. I have already done that once this semester for the same class, and I think that one really shows my devotion so that my teacher won't expect it again? Right? Luckily this is a teach that I have had 6/8 semesters since I have been in college. He constantly rips on me for being from WV and I play along so that it will lead him to another long tangent/story. Genius, and what a servant I am to my class: to be the butt of all jokes just so we get less done, have lower expectations, and are more entertained during class.

Sorry Mom and Dad.

In other news...We had a great small group last night. I met with 5 high school ladies to begin the all church journey small group. What I absolutely LOVED about this was not being the group leader. Amy is officially hosting, but the way that the group is designed by the series creators there really is no one person who is the leader. They insert funny reasons why certain people in the group should take on the host role at different times during the group...i.e. closest person to the door read this, nearest birthday person do this.

I will be the first to admit that I truly deprive myself of fellowship that I know I need because I am not in a small group or Bible study that I am not also leading. I meet with girls Sunday nights, lead campaigners on Mondays and then the rest of the week I am typically meeting one on one with girls. I am striving not to be the reverberating voice in this group. These girls hear me talk talk talk all the time, so I want to back off some and let them learn from each other as I really learn from them. Molly and Katie, two girls who have really rebelled against YoungLife stuff in the past are fervently coming to campaigners, meeting with me regularly, and totally excited about this group. I gave Katie her own Bible last night and Molly is feverishly underlinging and taking notes during study. They are both looking for answers for some of their doubts and I pray that the Lord reveals himself in ways that they could never imagine!

"Look at the nations and watch—
and be utterly amazed.
For I am going to do something in your days
that you would not believe,
even if you were told. (Habakkuk 1:5)

Random Things

2009-02-25T19:54:00.002-05:00

I was going to blog about the things that i don't subscribe to because I consider them to be "cult" followings...but I am really swamped this week. I have about 5 minutes before I need to get on the road for small group with some high school ladies for our all-church journey. Something so cool about the MEGA church that I attend here in cinci is that every spring they do an all-church journey. Everyone is ENCOURAGED to get into a small group and meet once a week to discuss the weekend message. They MASS distribute workbooks that have a designed curriculum and then have an activity for every small group to do together during the week. TONS of church in Cinci are participating so you are bound to run into someone...somewhere here in the city that is doing and reading the same stuff taht you are. It is truly an awesome thing.

Something else. Tonight I made a BOMB dinner. I used to think I was a pretty horrible cook, but once I discovered spices and ways to cook vegetables I am PRETTY domestic if I do say so myself. I had awesome tilapia with cajun seasoning over top of steam green beans and perogies on the side. BRAVISSIMO.

Just because I said I am feeling domestic is not an invitation for any sort of wife-to-be jokes. That is a long way off folks :)

Week crazy

2009-02-22T23:07:00.003-05:00

I am just going to take this opportunity to first inform you all that I will be in Siesta Key (Sarasota), Florida one week from 11 am this morning. Commence...jealousy. Gosh our spring break is early this year, but I am lucky enough to have a wonderful friend Allison who invited me to join her at her grandmothers condo for a week. We will be seeing the Reds play the Yanks in spring training, but that is all we have planned...minus the usual: tanning, sleeping, riding bikes, and tanning.

Also, before I leave for SPRING BREAK 2009 FLORIDA...not yelling..but sorta kinda am...I find out about the job I applied for on Friday. I am taking a big risk in announcing this to all of cyber space seeing as how the outcome could go two ways (job or no job), but I just need prayer that I don't put all of my eggs in taht basket...mentally and emotionally speaking. I need to be open for the direction taht the Lord will lead me, even if and probably especially if it is not this job. I may be tryign to take the easy way out with this one rather than really praying and relying on the Lord for what he might REALLY have in store for me.

Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

Two in one DAY

2009-02-18T12:14:00.004-05:00

Yea-yea. I know it's my second blog for the day...Hold the applause.

Gotta share two things. i LOVE Danny Gokey from American Idol. I would marry him tomorrow. In fact...I think it's meant to be.

The second thing is that I have a wonderful friend that I met while on Summer Staff for Young Life at Saranac Lake, NY. Her Name is Caroline and she is a BEAUTIFUL photographer...and person. Those were backwards. Anyway. She just revamped her website and its too cute (which means professional) in her "easy on the eyes" sea foam green and the music is awesome as usual. While I was listening last night I came across a song that totally fits ME totally...It fits my blog too. So I will share it with you from Caroline. Make sure you visit her hyperlinked sites. She is a music phenom...finds the best stuff.

Blessed by Brett Dennen <-- click the link to listen while you read the lyrics

I welcome the sun,
the clouds and rain,
the wind that sweeps the sky clean
and lets the sun shine again.
this is the most magnificent life has ever been.
here is heaven and earth
and the brilliant sky in between.

blessed is this life
and I'm gonna celebrate being alive.
blessed is this life
and I'm gonna celebrate being alive

I dwell in the darkness
I live in the light
I sleep in the afternoon
and become the noise in the night
I trespass in temptation
suffered in sacrifice
but I awake each day with a new sunrise

blessed is this life, oh
and I'm gonna celebrate being alive
blessed is this life, oh
and I'm gonna celebrate being alive

Campaigners

2009-02-18T10:02:00.002-05:00

I cannot believe I haven't mentioned this yet, but we have been having ROCKING cmapaigners lately. Campaigners is our weekly Bible Study at Mariemont HS for Young Life. Since we do not run Club, this is our main..."event"...for Young Life in the 'Mont. For about a month before Christmas break and about a Month after we have been doing a series that I titled "Real Life. Real Issues." Before Christmas we talked about lying, cussing, drinking, drugs and partying, gossip and friends etc. We had the high schooleres write down anonymous questions around which we formed our campaigners.

Since Christmas break we have tackled the whole idea of sexuality, focusing on the differences between guys and girls through a few split sex Campaigners. We split the first week and talked about body image with the girls and the boys talked about some things generally specific to them (ie porn). After that week, we did a brief intro then our guy leaders talked to the girls and us girl leaders talked to the boys. Answering questions and going deeper into some realities about the opposite sex. this past week we talked about dating and we had 20 people there! It has been awesome to see the responses from students and the new people showing up and coming around. We have even had some students come on their own, without friends. It has been so awesome to see how our main and consistent Campaigners have really been inviting and going after friends.

We are talking about Sex next week. And sure this will be awkward and the high schoolers will squirm. What do I even know about sex? I am nervous to do this one, but God has blessed us so much in the past few weeks for being obedient in hitting the hard stuff. I gotta believe that He will continue to bless this next week as well. It is a huge help for to to have Ben and Laura (my leaders from HS) as a resource during this series. I talked to Laura way back, and she gave me a ton of resources for this series!

I am reminded daily how lucky I am to have the relationships taht I do with these high schoolers to the point that I can talk about the real stuff with them. God doesn't just talk about "christian" things that some beleive don't have a place in our daily lives. His word is living and breathing, and because of this it can apply to every part of our lives. Sexuality is a topic that is becoming less and less taboo, especially in the media. To be able to tell 15-18 year olds that God has a plan for sex in their lives...that is just a crazy and awesome opportunity for us as leaders.

God has been doing HUGE things in this spiritually dry community during the three years taht I have been there, but this past semester has been just a concentration of big thing after big thing. I am really seeing how obedience in awkward, and difficult, and unwanted situations can totally pay off in being able to be a witness to God's blessings - in my own life ANd in the lives of others.

Don't judge me

2009-02-17T11:10:00.002-05:00

For the record I am not trying to single out my lunch date as being any sort of exception to the rule. I think he represents a rather large spectrum of guys. And I don't fault him for it. It's only natural that men would be inferior to women, right?

hahaha....KIDDER. I got jokes. Chances of him reading my blog. Yikes.

And everyone says women are indecisive...

2009-02-16T17:01:00.006-05:00

Okay...here is the thing about guys. They love to talk talk talk it up about how women can never make a decision, or how it takes women too long to make up their mind.

First off: We have a lot more going on up there at the same time than you. (ask me about it...its scientific)
Second off: I have come to find out that this is not just characteristic of women.

Fess up guys because I got proof. When my PT friend called yesterday to finalize our plans for this afternoon, I was maybe unfairly? expecting him to have made some decisions. Now...before telling this story. I APPRECIATE a guys concern and acknowledgment of a woman's ideas and preferences. I APPRECIATE it when a guy courageously asks me out AND picks up the tab. That being said...don't take me too seriously.

So I got the phone call yesterday asking em if I was still interested. What the hay, right? So he asks me lunch or coffee? I had been leaning toward coffee, but I am trying this new thing called "letting the guy make some decisions." So I told him I was flexible and we could work around what time we wanted to go. He tells me that he could do either...again I say...I am flexible. Finally we decide...collectively...on lunch. Then ensues the painfully awkward choice as to where. Now...I know that said male doesn't know me so has to really take a shot in the dark with what I might like. So, he asks where I would like to go, and I tell him again, I am flexible. Remember: I am trying to run with this whole letting him make the decisions thingy. So he suggest we just decide tomorrow. My mind says (even though I am doing the whole let him decide thing): Why wait? Let's get this second BIG decision under our belts so we can move forward. So I SUGGEST (so as to make him think it is his idea) that he just decide tonight. He serves out three options. I return the serve with two...including one of his. He then tells me that it is too hard to choose between those two. Hmmmh...For pete's sake. I put on the pressure and he decides. But it took climbing mountains to get there. Haha

Part of what I love about meeting new people and going out with them on "dates" (loose term) is that you really gotta feel each other out. A big part of this for me is their sense of humor. I am pretty sarcastic by nature and found out early on in this current "interaction" that I should let someone realize that slowly rather than all at once, so as not to crash and burn with humor. I PLANNED (yah, i know, embarrassing) a joke to use for the initial call back from said man. Unbeknownst to him...it was a joke...and it bombed. Had me laughing, but I had to explain the joke...and that is the worst.

Moral of the Story: Ease into the humor.

If you were wondering...we had a good time.

Valentino

2009-02-14T21:06:00.002-05:00

On this Valentine's Day...I decided to watch the Bachelor episode from last week...hometown dates. I am starting to think that sitting in my room alone watching this show on my computer on Valentines night might have been some feeble attempt to test myself. I think I was trying to see if I REALLY cared about Valentines Day...if all of the nonchalance and "no big deal" 's were real.

Turns out.....THEY ARE. haha. 2 hours of the Bachelor and I still don't feel any sadness at not having a Valentine here in my presence.

Luckily, I've got the best thing...the better thing. Song of Songs 7:10 says, "I am my beloved's and his desire is for me." I love that right now God truly is a man about whom I can say this. I hope and pray that one day there will be an earthly man who also takes this role...but no earthly man's love will ever come close.

What an awesome kind of love.

The rumors are true...

2009-02-13T15:34:00.006-05:00

Well...for those of you (cough) CHAD (cough) who think that my whole little teaser was just a ruse. There is in fact a story that goes along with the tease, although it may not be exciting enough to have warranted a whole day blog teaser. Plus I realized quite a few things about myself in the midst of this interaction.

For three weeks now I have been at PT on Wednesday mornings and for three weeks the same guy has also been there getting work on his shoulder. We didn't really acknowledge each other the first week, and the second week he engaged me in a little conversation about one of my favorite things: outdoor recreation and specifically my trip out west. He had many many questions and I have learned recently that I am good at answering questions, but not so good at asking them back to keep the conversation rolling. Kind of like having to stop at a stop sign and pause for three seconds each time you drive one block. drive...PAUSE drive...PAUSE. Before I left I realized he was somehow affiliated with the Xavier swim team and I happened ot pass him on my way out of the gym later that afternoon.

This past Wednesday he was there...like clockwork. Funny how boys can sometimes be so predictable...lol. I had chosen to cancel my Monday appointment because my therapist said I only needed one more...coincidence? lol. Anyway, he (Shane I will later come to find out) was working on some excercises and got my attention by making some subtle jokes. Once I sat down to have my scar massaged, Dawn, my therapist, asked if I had a boyfriend. This question was whispered and so I whispered back, "no." I feel like I have been asked this question at least 40 times this year by older women in my life trying to play matchmaker. She then informed me that I had a secret admirer. Hey Dawn, turns out...the cat is out of the bag, and now you have made it possible for me to subject myself to overthinking and embarrassment for the next 45 minutes of sitting in the same room as said admirer.

Shane engages me in conversation, mostly about my surgery and injury at this point, and I humor him although I am clearly feeling more awkward inside than I have up to this point. Each week I have been at PT he has always had to take off his shirt to get his shoulder wrapped. Before, I did not think twice about this nor did I pay attention (yah, I know you think im lying, but shut it). This week when Jason, his therapist, informs him hes gotta take his shirt off, I find ANYTHING else that I can avert my eyes to. I might have memorized most of the license plates in the parking lot for looking out the window as long as I did. Eventually Dawn finished my massage and ANNOUNCED that it was my last day and that I needed to fill out some closing paperwork. At this point, I was feeling like she was trying to sabotage me pretty bad.

So I get my things together and begin to walk out. Shane, still shirtless, sticks out his left hand to introduce himself and I return the gesture. As I am leaving I hear a quick and nervous, "wait!" from Shane and I turn around, only to be facing him...still shirtless...and hear him ask if I want to go out for coffee sometime. MIND YOU there are about 7 strangers in this room privy to our entire interaction. My face gets REALLY hot and totally RED and I am so flustered that after saying yes I about run out of the room faster than I have been able to since high school. He stops me, stuttering feverishly, informing me that he needs my number. After dropping all of my things on the floor in search of a pen, Dawn hands me a post-it and I do the deed and bounce out of there pronto. Clearly embarrassed.

It is situations like these that make me just laugh at Valentines Day and get excited to be out of college. I feel like such a grown up when people try to fix me up, or when men ask me on dates. I think it is totally funny and even so I am almost always clearly embarrassed. That is one feeling I can't hide. One of my favorite things to do is get to know new people, whether it is over coffee once or turns into a lifelong friendship.I have only had a "Valentine" once, my freshmen year of high school, and it ended up being more stressful than enjoyable. My thoughts on Valentine's Day have pretty much remained the same over the years. I don't have any qualms about being single, in fact, I think I am really content being single. Valentine's is sort of like New Years...Big woop. I ask you, necessary celebration? for those of you who enjoy it...I love you. more power to ya :)

So...Chad...and Mom...Don't hate on my feeble attempts to entice and entertain my 11 faithful readers. If you know me, you know that I am honestly and openly good at drawing attention to my blog and facebook profile. For example, changing my facebook relationship status to "in a relationship" just to see the reactions. Mom you know I was Born to Entertain in some way shape or form. I. Got. Jokes. And you love me for it. Come on, in the spirit of Valentines?

wink wink

2009-02-12T14:55:00.002-05:00

hahaha. still laughing at the absurdity of what I am about to tell you.

I got asked out for coffee at physical therapy yesterday in front of about 7 strangers.

I plan to leave you hanging in order to see if there is any interest in the full story...

;)

Smodgepodge

2009-02-10T11:29:00.002-05:00

My how time flies. I am sitting in the library, having just bought Reds Spring Training Tickets for when Allison and I are in Florida for Spring Break the first week of March. We are going to see the Yankees play the Reds one Sunday afternoon. Fun time to be had by all.

I don't have a ton of time this morning because I have to get a shower before work, but I have neglected the blog for 5 days. I was in Morgantown and Charleston this past week seeing fam and friends, so I was busy. Low key weekend, but such great fellowship.

Since getting Sirius radio for Christmas, I have been feeling out my top 10 preset stations. This weekend during my total of 12 hours of driving, I began to switch them around some. After getting myself all jittery from drinking a Monster energy drink and eating an energy Powerbar, I listened to the news much of the way home from Charleston to Cincinnati. I settled and decided that CNN Hdln is my favorite news station. Yet...for the second day in a row, the top news stories are STILL as follows:

1. Why wasn't Chris Brown at the Grammy's? Because he was indicted on charges of domestic violence involving an unidentified female. Why wasn't Rhianna, his superstar girlfriend, at the Grammy's? Speculation is that she was the unidentified female.
2. A-Roid. He was young and naive people. Give him a break. Commentators say he needs to do an anti-drug campaign to clear everything up.
3. Obama's stimulus package. After listening to 3 hours of news I still dont understand this. Surprisingly Howard Stern's explanation didn't even make sense to me. Just sounds like a lot of money. Will any of it see my pockets? :) (This is not an invitation for a political discussion. I am neither for nor against this whole "package," nor do I implore you to give me your opinion. My blog is not and will never be a forum for politics.)

Anyway. Valentines weekend coming up. Valentines is a lot like New Year's for me. Lots of hype....and not much pizzazz when it comes down to it. And don't get the wrong idea. Single or not my feelings are the same.

My beef with Ohio: Fog, clouds and haze. It is warm here but you never see the sun. Clearly an issue. Soon enough though :)

Song

2009-02-05T14:07:00.001-05:00

Heard this song on another blog today and just had to post the lyrics:

Gabriel and the Vagabond by Foy Vance

There's a man in the corner and his clothes are worn
And he's holding out his hand
You could see in his eyes as the people walk by
He knows they don't understand

Ya see they just think he's gonna take their money
And go and spend it all on dope
Then a man stopped by and I saw a smile inside him
As he gently whispered hope

Well the tramp started to cry, just kept saying,
"Why? why? why?
Could you see I'm a dying tonight
Well I'm 32 and I've got this one pair of shoes
And a bad taste in my mouth
I think it's clear to see that even God don't love me
Or else why would He leave me this way."

Then Gabriel just smiled and said be peaced my child
Salvation is here today

He got up to his feet and he sang Hallelujah
People were turning around in the street
He looked them in the eyes and he sang,
"Hallelujah
There's someone here that you gotta meet
Someone you just gotta meet."

When the vagabond turned around well without a sign
Gabriel just smiled and disappeared
Then he looked to the crowd and they were laughing out loud
But he could not see them fore tears
When his vision came round
There was a young girl on the ground
I knew she was fine and hard to cope
She never was a fighter until he laid beside her
And gently whispered hope

They got up to their feet and they sang Hallelujah
People in the street were turning around
They looked them in the eyes and they sang,
"Hallelujah
There's someone here we have found"
They sang,
"Hallelujah, Hallelujah
We are the voices crying in the wilderness
Hallelujah, Hallelujah."
The people in the street started their sins to confess
And a chorus of,
"Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Every knee will bow and every tongue confess
and the voice of one crying in the wilderness
crying
Hallelujah, Hallelujah"

dig down deep.

2009-02-04T21:58:00.002-05:00

What a weird night. For some reason I have a million thoughts and feelings swirling around in my head. Like I said earlier, Molly and I saw the movie Rachel Getting Married. NOT A CHICK FLICK folks. I didn't know a thing about it, but it was a very dark movie. More about symbolism and music and deep seeded family issues than the plot or story line of the wedding. Two people in love getting married in the midst of immeasurable family dysfunction. Kim, Rachel's sister, returns from rehab the day before the wedding. She brings with her a slew of bad memories and a dark past...SPOILER ALERT...including being the cause of her toddler brother's death. Yet, once all the fighting settles for a short period, Rachel bathes and cares for her hurting sister on the day of her own wedding. Kym represents a sort of prodigal son, and for Rachel, it is terribly hard to see her sister come back after rehab only to fall right back into their father's graces.

I think maybe the complexity of the movie just has me in a weird mood. After the movie a woman on the street asked me if I could loan her $2.50. She was short for a room to stay in. If you know me you know I cannot say no to someone on the street asking for money, no matter their specific need. Knowing I had a little cash I said I didn't because I wanted to pay cash for the ice cream Molly and I were going to get. When it came time to pay I couldn't use my cash. I dropped my ice cream on a table and went outside and jogged down the street. I found her and gave her the money. I acted like I was in such a hurry and I don't know why. She was so grateful. Happily said to me, "Bless you." And I jogged off.

I can't even tell you how many times I feel like I have missed opportunities like this. One of the things Steve Gardner said on leader weekend was in the context of urgings from God. Something that impacted me so much that I wrote it down on the cover of my journal was a simple statement: "When in doubt, GO." I think I am slowly learning how and when to do this. But tonight, I feel like I dropped the ball. I didn't even ask her her name. I want to know her name. God calls us to love people and I think I sometimes forget that that call means EVERYONE...not just people in the ministry that I am doing. It means college classmates, roommates, professors, people on the street, waitresses, family, etc.

I pray that I would be conscious of when the Lord wants me to move. I pray to be so in tune with his urgings that all I need is the tiniest urge and I GO. I want to know how to love people the best that I can, which I know means giving up some of myself. Giving up selfishness. Loving people for doing nothing for me. Loving people because I have the greatest Example to follow. I think this also means being vulnerable, which is immensely hard for me. It means admitting that I have weakness and admitting that I need help. It means not always having to be the strong one.

One critic of Rachel Getting Married was quoted as saying, "[it goes] deep into the joy and pain of being human." Isn't that real? Man there is joy and there is pain...we can hurt so bad and yet still we can love each other. "The elation and pain of being alive." But isn't it a miracle that in the midst of the good and the bad that we have Christ? To experience pain is to know Christ better. To know better how it feels to have him pick up the pieces. To know better how it feels to know his pain and love for us. To know better that pain and suffering will not be the end of us, but that ultimately, to know Christ means to see the joy in the midst of the pain.

My life could never be a reality show.

2009-02-04T18:38:00.003-05:00

I have not had any good stories lately and today is no different. Not much of anything new is going on with me right now besides not working because of massive amounts of snow so far this semester. Xavier was not canceled today, but CPS was, so I did not work AGAIN. A tad bit frustrating, but only a tad. Mom was off today and texted me saying that she was going to move to a county where they actually go to school. I texted Robert at 11 asking what he was doing on his school day. The one word response of "sleeping" lead me to believe he had not gotten out of bed yet. Unlike Mom he has no qualms about having snow days.

There are so many movies out right now that I am DYING to see. Frost Nixon being at the top of that list, along with Milk and Doubt. But, Molly and I are going to see Anne Hathaway's new movie, Rachel Getting Married. Her choice, but I always welcome a good chick flick. Plus our mutual friend Nick is giving us free tickets because his parents are part owners of the theater. That means I will feel less guilty buying popcorn or candy...mmmhh :)

One thing that is pretty new is my love for working out. Okay..."LOVE" is an overstatement of epic proportions, but I am reminded how good it feels after sweating for an hour. Being immobile and just uncomfortable with an injury for so long has brought me full circle to being able to enjoy working out again. I had therapy today and she has increased me to being able to actually run in two minute intervals on the treadmill at a low speed. I have just been doing the stationary bike and elliptical until now, so was excited about this. I can't wait for warmer weather and a chance to run outside. Maybe a marathon is on the FAR FAR horizon after all. Right, Betsy?

Today I...

2009-02-04T00:31:00.002-05:00

1. Remembered two random things about myself that I forgot to mention:
I LOVE elephants and they are all over my room. They are a symbol of strength and intelligence. clearly appropriate...AND You might call me a voyeur for how much I love Reality TV.

2. Drove to class. Got my car STUCK on a snow embankment because i was greedily seeking a BAD parking spot close to class.

3. Paid for greediness by not being able to get my car out, so had a coworker pick me up for work...yay Carol!

4. Talked to a few really good friends and decided I might hit up Morgantown this weekend.

5. Realized how much I miss my family. My stinkin' brother is so cute and I miss him too much. I can't stand not being a prat of his everyday life. I hate not being an immediate friend for my mom when stuff is bothering her. All hard stuff that is part of growing up.

Okay...fairly boring post, but better than nothing?

This monitor must be HD

2009-02-02T17:56:00.002-05:00

Just got done with American Sign Language class and I had to print some things so I am blogging from the SNAZZY computers in the Alter Hall computer lab. These babies are like 20 inch screens. They are those desktop Mac's that don't require you to have a tower. Everything is housed in the monitor. I think I would like this computer when I have a lot of money. Wait...that will probably never. Add it to the list of things I will do when I have an excess of funds for miscellaneous luxuries...including lasik surgery so that I can look at a computer for longer than 15 minutes without needing Ben Stein to fix me up.

It's official. As much as I hate to admit that I have fall privy to some cult following, I am currently joining the masses in whatever sort of sickness is going around. I hate admitting I am sick because it just means I gotta admit that I need to slow down a bit, but usually that ends up being good for me.

We have YL Campaigners tonight and I am pretty psyched for what we have to offer to our Mariemont students. Fortunately the Bible is not an age old waste of a book that does not bear any relevance in our daily lives today. It is a living and breathing document so we can even look at the bible in terms of our dating lives, relationships, male female interaction, and body image. We, as a team, are excited to get into real life stuff that high schoolers deal with on a DAILY basis. It is crazy what is deemed "acceptable" now-a-days (I sound like a grandparent :) ), even different from when I was in High School just four years ago. Plus we get to split into same sex groups tonight. Just me and the girls! So, I am excited to start off talking about male and female brains (because we really are wired differently), and then get into body image and the ways taht we use and treat our bodies. I think that is part of a larger issue dealing with our hearts and our desire as women to control. So, we will talk some about the courage to surrender our baggage like Daniel in the lions den (Daniel 6).

I want to follow God even if it mean's walking into the lion's den. God doesn't put us in the lion's den without having a purpose. When I finally surrender all my stinkin' rubbish I will never question God's guarantees: I will never leave you. I will always live in you.

And that's how Daniel made it out alive. God sent angels to close those mouths.

Random Things

2009-01-31T20:03:00.002-05:00

So...I filled out this thing for facebook and I figured I'd publish it here for those of you who don't have facebook. Enjoyyy.

25 Random Things:
1. I hate hooded sweatshirts. They look so weird on me.
2. When I was little I would stiff arm my brothers and sisters to be center stage in home videos.
3. I only have two good girl friends at college. The rest are my amazing high school girl friends.
4. I love using the word "bittersweet" to describe semi-emotional times in my life.
5. I went to boarding school my senior year of high school and lived with Spammy, madbah, and chocolie.
5 1/2. Some of my best friends go to WVU.
6. I want to work in the non profit sector somewhere in north or south carolina.
7. I love to listen to other people with good voices sing without music.
8. I want my first dance at my wedding to be Dave Barnes "Nothing Fancy," and I already have a word document with my future children's potential names.
9. I am the only person in my family who does not have a frequently used nickname.
10. I care way too much about doing things that will make my parents proud.
11. I love not having a boyfriend because I like having close guy friends.
12. My longest relationship was 3 months?
13. I LOVE any situation that will give me a chance to meet new people.
14. I get to take high school students to my favorite place in the whole world this summer. Saranac.
14 1/2. I think that my wedding party will be 85% family and 15% friends. Yay for sisters and great cousins.
15. I LOVE to blog.
16. I get nervous around any person who has any sort of star cred.
17. My brother is one of my most favorite people. I wish he liked me more.
18. I have horrible self control when it comes to eating.
19. I always prefer a low key night to anything outrageous.
20. I am really bossy and don't take compliments well, and love it when people are truly honest and vulnerable.
21. I am not emotional when it comes to real life, but cry at almost every movie...including Spy Kids 3-D
21 1/2. I love friendship bracelets.
22. I hate grocery shopping, especially because my roomate won't eat most things that I make. She prefers Totino's pizzas.
23. My friends Allison and Charles make me laugh more than anyone I know.
24. I love a GOOd Sunday small group.
25. When I do cry it is usually because I miss my family.

picture malfunction

2009-01-29T10:10:00.003-05:00

Yesterday ended up being an action packed snow day. To begin, Allison and I set out in her CR-V to make the trek to the house where she babysits. They have three girls under the age of 6 and again I was reminded why I definitely want girls, rather than just boys. We did beading and string for about an hour, then ventured out in the snow. Building an "EGG-loo" as Katharine called it, was our big project. Allison and I dug out three tunnels for the kids to navigate through and ended up fitting ourselves.

I was exhausted when we got home, but headed to the gym and tackled the elliptical for the first time since surgery. This felt awesome and I hit the stationary bike as well before doing my PT exercises since PT was canceled yesterday because of the ice. I got to go to the Xavier v. UNC Charlotte game last night with Kelsey, one of my Mariemont HS friends, and then hung with Allison and her dad afterwards. There are many funny stories from yesterday, but I want to eat a piece of my quiche and take a nap before babysitting.

I will share pics once I figure out why it isn't working

WINNER WINNER CHICKEN DINNER

2009-01-28T09:12:00.003-05:00

Ticka Ticka TWO snow days in a row. This means:
A) I have not moved my car in about 36 hours
B) For the second day in a row I have NOTHING to do for the WHOLE day.
C) I am making no money today because work (CPS) is closed too.
D) I have to hike like Sir Francis Bacon to get anywhere.
E) I was woken up by the sound of rust shovel scraping on asphalt because for some reason my landlord who lives below me HAD to get out. This made his dongs even more maniacal and in turn made me get less sleep.
F) I am rejoicing in the rest and relaxation that the Lord is providing:)

I think I am going to go babysitting with Allison today, seeing as how they are going sledding and it's been like 4 years since I did that.

My evil landlord scraping FEVERISHLY.

Snow day

2009-01-27T15:12:00.004-05:00

Turns out the News 5 Anchorwoman might not have been so off key at all.

SNOW DAY TODAY! Woo. and possibly tomorrow because we are expected to have freezing rain/wintry mix for the rest of the day AND night, into the morning. Cincinnati Public Schools (CPS) were also off today so I did not have to go in to work. Tomorrow I don't have any class, but a possible two days of work off in a row...How bout them apples?

domestication

2009-01-26T23:06:00.003-05:00

I had an AWESOME weekend, but I think it will take me a little bit longer to process all of it so that it is ready for cyberspace. It was Young Life leader weekend for the Buckeye Region at Great Wolf Lodge. Someone on the East Side mentioned the number 700 when talking about people in attendance. I don't believe it...but really? WOW. We pray and worry so much about the harvest being plentiful and the workers being few (there is always a need for more workers in high school harvests), but WHAT A TESTAMENT to God's glory. Last thing Jesus says to his disciples after returning to earth resurrected is this: "But you will receive power when the Holy Spirit comes on you; and you will be my witnesses in Jerusalem, and in all Judea and Samaria, and to the ends of the earth." Man...the ends of the earth. It is crazy to think what God could do with 700 willing disciples. And that is just the Buckeye Region. It was a bittersweet weekend because it might be the last time that I see all those great people, worshipping for the same purpose, understanding the same mission. They are people that I love and it just reminds me of the many lasts that are to come as the semester dwindles on. My senior year roomies (Sam and MAddie) at Culver would slap me for saying bittersweet, but, dare I?

On a completely different note, today was a BIG day for me. I cooked today. for a good 2 hours. Anytime I cook, it is: A) a potential miracle, B) a potential disaster, C) a potential meltdown, or D) all of the above - a disaster that causes a meltdown (either emotional or physical) in which a miracle must occur to save my mental state or my kitchen from going down in flames.

Today was a miracle, for the most part. Mom mentioned yesterday that she was making quiche and I am on a new health kick as I get back into shape because I can now involve myself in some physical action as my ankle begins to heal. So I though, why not make some healthy quiche, as well as homemade chicken salad and homemade tuna salad. I ventured to the grocery after phys. therapy and the gym only to be stopped by the local newswoman wanting to interview me about stocking up on groceries for the impending "white death." I laughed as if she was kidding, until I realized she wasn't, at which point she realized that a college student with peppers, spinach and too many eggs is probably not worried about the snow, but rather, PSYCHED.

Anyway, while cooking, I was able to multitask three different projects at the same time that included tons of chopped vegetables and meat and making something I had never made before. The chicken salad had a bit too much dillweed, the tuna salad was...eh, but the quiche was SUPERB. I did a little flubbing with mom's recipe and subbed monterey jack cheese for swiss because it was cheaper, and I added some green peppers instead of mushrooms because fungi is sick. Needless to say, I got great feedback from Molly, the roomie, who swears by totinos pizzas and late night mcdonalds. I am getting more excited about having my own place with a CLEAN kitchen that has ample counter space (I had to take the microwave off the counter and put it on the floor so that I could chop and prep) and a dishwasher. I hate cooking because I hate washing dishes. Lean Cuisines come in plastic, totally disposable.

If you are in the neighborhood, and hungry, come by because I have stocked up for the white death folks.

While I have your attention...

2009-01-23T17:21:00.003-05:00

I would like to put out a plug for a wonderful new blog that I happened upon via my friend Chad's blog. If you have been attempting to FEVERISHLY find something to like about OSU Men's Basketball, I am here to solve all of your problems. Mark Titus is a walk on for OSU, and the self proclaimed "last man off the bench." After reading his blog you will probably share my same sentiments that his talents may not lie on the basketball court, but rather, in the public writing forum world of internet blogging.

http://clubtrillion.blogspot.com/

Guest Blogger: Charles

2009-01-23T17:13:00.004-05:00

As many of you faithful reader's know, Charles is a good friend and fellow English major. He has a knack for story-telling and remembering details (he can recite to me any quotes from The Office after only viewing once when I don't get to tune in live), and he and I share a love for going to bars sober. We have both mastered the art of "fake-drinking." If you have ever been to a bar in college, something you hear about every 5 minutes is, "Hey, you want a drink?" At which point any answer but "HECK (insert expletive here) YEA" is met with excessive amounts of peer pressuring, nagging, and downright bullying until you give in.

In order to curb this inevitable scene, Charles and I have come up with a fool-proof plan: Always drink bottles. The dark amber colored bottles that most beer is served in are great for masking the true amount of alcohol you consume. No one knows how much you have had, and as long as you have something in your hand you have a good enough reason to say no thanks to the harassment. A pitcher might seem like a better deal economy-wise, but if you are trying to hide your alcohol intake (I realize this is not a common practice in most college scenes) a clear glass doesn't do the trick. All of that being said, Charles wrote up a guest blog about the new hot night spot for Xavier students here in Cincinnati.

Greetings rejoicers and happy New Year, Charles here with a guest blog. The spring semester is in full swing at Xavier, with classes starting last Monday. The return of the student body means the return of the All-Card special and other promotional events at Lodge bar, a venue that has quickly become the new Soupie’s of underclass Musketeers.

I am somehow two-for-two in Thursday night trips down to 7^th street. There is a striking resemblance between the paths that Lodge bar and Facebook are taking with regards to their exclusivity. As many (or few?) of you know, Facebook gained notoriety for being an online social network accessible only to college students and nobody else. Sometime during the spring of my freshman year, that all changed when they started accepting high school kids, and the flood gates were opened. Now everybody and their sister (or mother) has a Facebook account, and the good old days of being able to naively post anything and everything that happened over the weekend on a public forum without fear of consequence have gone out the window. But I digress.

Sometime during the fall semester, Lodge started letting “18 and older” clientele into its establishment, making sure to strictly enforce state and federal drinking laws by using black magic markers on all minors’ hands, creating “X”s that would require the use of both warm water AND soap before coming off in the bathroom. Despite this seemingly fail-proof method, kids are somehow figuring out ways to still get all of the $2 “You-call-its” and $3 Miller “pitchers” their hearts desire. It is a travesty, a sham, and a mockery really… a traveshamockery.

Nevertheless, the loss of Lodge bar’s integrity as a law-abiding watering hole is my gain when it comes to people-watching. Naturally, the increase in the population’s blood-alcohol levels on a Thursday nights has correlated to an increase in other things as well, some better than others:

-Single-ladies putting their hands up

-Bromances between myself and other heterosexual guy friends

-Public make-outs by well-known faces around campus

-Collegiate athletes interacting with common students

-Tips/Donations for Rodney, the bathroom attendant

-Breaches of Hamilton County’s fire code

-Facebook photo albums with wood-paneled walls and animal heads in the background

-Friends for Ashwin Ganesh, Xavier Grad-Student and Gallagher front desk worker

Of course, all this added popularity only fuels the fire felt by the one and only (or many?) “Lodge Bar DJ” who gets the crowd going to say the least… going to the bathroom, going to the bar next door, going home for the night. Nobody can accuse this guy of being too shy to use expletives or holding back from gratuitous sexual references and innuendos throughout the night. While I have yet to witness a Bucky Bowl Drinking Contest yet in 2009, I’m sure the time will come soon enough. And when it does, there will be no shortage of soapy-handed, inebriated single “ladies” putting their hands up to participate, making sure their friends take pictures to post on Facebook later.

Outrage

2009-01-20T22:13:00.002-05:00

Well well well. Just noticed that the Hibbard HomePage is no longer a public blog site. I seem to have been blocked out of it. Excommunication comes to mind? I bet I know who was behind this. ;)