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Christmas 2009

Happy December

So, I have this new idea for my blog. I know that I have not been updating at all. My life is in such a season of change, that I am disapointed in myself for the things I have missed recording on here. What I love most about having a blog is being able to come back to it and read months later, to see how my life, my thoughts, my fears or joys have changed. I have started a new full-time job at the YMCA in Charlotte and work from the morning until the ht. After work I am often spending time with high school kids for Young Life. By the time I get home arond 9:30 or 10 pm, I have very little time to sit on my computer and get on facebook, much less catch up on my blog. o have dull moments at work for a lunch break or some personal time, and it is in those moments hat I wish I could get onto my blog page and update. Unfortunately, we have a pretty sensitive internet filter here at the Y, and no personal blog sites are allowed through. I also don't haev internet at my house, so here is the plan: I am going to start typing up blog posts during my free time at work, emailing them to myself, and posting them when I get to a coffee shop with internet. This means I might post 2 or 3 at a time, but dont get your hopes up. I am reminded day after day that our world is a changeful world. Everything is moving, going, growing, transferring, transitioning, and our lives are full of seasons that also ebb and flow. I am in one of the scariest seasons of my life and am feeling the most fear and anxiety I have ever felt. My roomate Robin reminded me yesterday that 'fear is not of the Lord'...and for that matter neither is anxiety. In Malachi God says, "I the Lord DO NOT change." Now, it isn't in there as capital letters, but I can really picture God yellign that part. I picture him yelling, because we ALWAYS forget this. God proves to us time and time again that he will be our provider, that he will pick up the pieces, that he is gracious and merciful...YET we forget. I always forget. His promises, His character, His provisions, His previous doings do not become null and void when we face a new crisis or when we face the changefulnes of the world. He remains the same, no matter our situation. I am learning not to be so selfish with my time as I begin a full-time job. I don't have the same luxuries to spend hours reading, or mornings sleeping, or afternoons napping, or breakfasts with friends. I have to be more intentional with the time I have during this season of change. I have ten days off during Christmas and I cannot wait. I will make it home on Christmas Eve, and come back here on January 1st. Tyler gets to come home with me and meet the entire family, and for this I am so thankful. Tis' the season.

weekday update

Okay, so my dad was getting on me about my utterly embarrasing lack of blogging here. I am hardly ever at my computer (which is worlds apart from college when I was able to update this thing almost every day), but I forget sometimes that for the few that read this, I don't get to update you often. So, for my sake of reading this in a few years to look back on what the Lord has done in that time, and for the few of you that read...here's a little update.

I am currently still living in Charlotte with my two roomates and I love it. Charlotte is beautiful. Even when it rains it is not discouraging because you know that there is sun not far behind. It is just wired like that. It is nothing like Cincinnati where one day of rain meant weeks of fog to follow. While I love it, I miss a lot of things. I miss my family the most. I am (scarily) finding myself feeling more detached the older I get. I know this doesn't have as much to do with age as my stage in life, but I am trying to be very conscious about keeping up. The reality is, I am here with my own life, and they their with theirs (funky sentence, huh?). This makes it hard to cross paths at times.

I miss college. Gosh the grass is ALWAYS greener on the other side, huh? I am already feeling the grad school itch, though not yet sure what forth. I go back and forth between counseling, elementary ed., and something in non-profit. Since I am clearly worlds away from a decision this won't be happening for a while. With college I miss my friends. Three of my great girls from leading YL in Cinci are spread out all over...Amy as far away as Texas. I miss them. Again, our different stages of life and different schedules makes it hard to cross internet paths often enough. I miss my old roomie. Molly and I are experiencing things apart from each other for the first time in 4 years. It is weird not to be there to share hilarious stories with each other at the end of the day.

All of this being said. I am not sitting on the fence here in Charlotte. I have both feet in and for that I can thank the Lord. He has given me so much purpose and reassurance about being here. Ministry is seemingly coming along slow, but I have to remember that I am starting out at a new school, with a full time job, in a completely different region of the United States, with high school kids who have very little idea of what Young Life is. Club is becoming less of a stress and I praise God that he is giving me something to believe in. I still think we have more room to be excellent, but it will get there. In the meantime...it is not easy asking high school kids to come along on this journey with you, so I am really learning a lot of things again. Again I say, the season of refinement!

My devotional yesterday said it all. In Malachi 3 it says the Lord DOES NOT change. Never...not his traits, his mind, his patience, the way he feels about us. None of it. So amidst the changefulness of out world, God remains the same.

I get to do something SO FUN this weekend. Rebecca and I are flying to New York to stay with Uncle David. Tyler is coming down from West Point and we are going to all spend the weekend together. We will do the city, go see WP, and see Uncle David's new show! I can honestly say that all three of us cannot wait. It will be an awesome quick trip. Then 2 weeks later I get to go to Canton...ah, home :). Thanksgiving with my cousins and family. That spells awesome.

Work calls.

embarrassing...

My blog neglect is embarrassing. I have been spending very little time on my computer except to answer emails and flit around on facebook, so I have not had the opportunity to post on here.

My life is quite a whirlwind. So, for my own sake to look back here in 3 months and really see the changes, I am going to divulge the meet of my schedule:
Monday: morning off, 6 hours at the Y, setup for YoungLife club at the Y and get home by 10
Tuesday: Bible study with women from church, lunch at home, 6 hours at the Y, high school sporting event, 830 Bible study with peers
Wednesday: Y from 715-9, lunch home, 5 more hours at the Y, dinner with high school girls, YL Campaingners Bible study, home by 930
Thursday: Y from 715-9, lunch home, back to the Y, FREE night OR JV football game at the high shcool
Friday: Y from 715-9, walking with Judy, lunch at home, back to work at the Y, high school football!

I am moving into some preschool teaching at the Y as a sub for Wed-Fri to get some extra hours. I also throw in workouts while I am down there in the afternoons. When I was in college I never thought I would be busier, I now know that it will only get moreso. I am the epitome of someone who is constantly looking to the future for "easier" times, but am finding so much satisfaction and growth during this stage of the Lord doing SO MUCH pruning. My life is CRAZY TIMES, but I love it.

Tyler came home this past weekend, which was such a needed gift from the Lord. I had been missing him like CRAZY and it was so great to spend time together and attend his cousin's wedding. He continues to teach and encourage me in ways that are so new to me and I am so thankful for that blessing. God is TRULY refining me right now...shaving/burning/cutting off the bad stuff...and it HURTS a lot of the time, but is rewarding all of the time.

So young, but so old.

Okay. I know that I have been doing terrible business as far as updating my blog. I have found myself doing a lot of journaling rather than posting on the internet since there are a lot of internal things going on with me.

I am quickly learning that life after college is never something that you can be adequately prepared for. There is nothing like working full time. No way to describe it or experience it until you do. And one you are working full time, the responsibility and expectations come as quite a surprise. They are responsibilities and expectations that are previously unprecedented in most people's young adulthood. I had unrealistic expectations that working for a non-profit meant that I wouldn't have the same quantitative expectations placed upon me that people normally experience in the private sector. Silly and wrong. I am in charge of a program that is not filling up quite as quickly as I or my director suspected. After all of the marketing and strategizing, it comes back to where it should always begin - I am praying that the Lord will reveal his hand in this, whether or not it comes out positive in my opinion.

Young Life here in Charlotte is proving to be no walk in the park. Why did I even ever think it might be even for just a second? Ministry will never be "easy" because Satan continues to reign here in the world. I am making an attempt to constantly remind myself that I am privy to the greatest news that anyone could ever hear, and I have been called to carry that News to high school students. The Gospel is such a worthy message. Worthy of my discomfort, worthy if ridicule, worthy of being ignored, and worthy of boldness.

I love the women I live with. There are no greater people to speak truth into my life right now. They are both familiar with Young Life and have experienced or are experiencing similar anxieties, struggles, worries, triumphs and passions. I do not know how long I will be where I am, but I know that God will need to make it GLARINGLY obvious that I need to leave these two. Well, God or Robin who owns the place.

Tyler comes home in two weeks as of tomorrow. I cannot wait to see him. We start young life club the Monday before, and I start my program at the Y the same Monday before, so the weekend after will be welcome hang out tiem with him and friends.

I turn 23 in exactly one month. I am so young. :)

Celebrating the Day of Labor Weekend

Way too long since I last posted. I drove home to WV on Friday after work and arrived around 615. I went over to pick up Shawna (my beautiful friend from high school who is getting married June 4th) and then we jumped in the car with my mom and Becca to head to Morgantown. Many people would be surprised to know that until this weekend, I had never been to a home game at Milan Psukar, home of the WV Mountaineers.

We were lucky enough to get Suite tickets (not to be confused with sweet tickets) via someone my dad knows. This meant free food, which I never pass up. Hanging out in the box was great because we had a little more room to move around, but a CLOUDLESS day. I spent the night at Shawna's the night before the game and when I was getting ready the next morning, Shawna's roomate asked if I wanted a WV tattoo for my face. I am a female, and face tattoo's at sporting events are cute for that one reason, so I obliged.

Two hours of eating, chatting, tailgating, and two quarters of football later, I was headed to the bathroom to scrub off my tattoo, and still came out of the day with a WV shaped sunburn on my face. Glorious.
I love being back home around my family, and it is also so great to see Shawna. I also got to see John, her fiance, who I had not seen in forever. Seeing the two of them together, now engaged, was so special. There is something so different and amazing about that. It is clear that they are on board for the Lord being able to do immensely more in the coming year before they are married. I am so excited for the chance to be a part of the exciting-ness!