Wednesday, December 9, 2009
So, I have this new idea for my blog. I know that I have not been updating at all. My life is in such a season of change, that I am disapointed in myself for the things I have missed recording on here. What I love most about having a blog is being able to come back to it and read months later, to see how my life, my thoughts, my fears or joys have changed. I have started a new full-time job at the YMCA in Charlotte and work from the morning until the ht. After work I am often spending time with high school kids for Young Life. By the time I get home arond 9:30 or 10 pm, I have very little time to sit on my computer and get on facebook, much less catch up on my blog. o have dull moments at work for a lunch break or some personal time, and it is in those moments hat I wish I could get onto my blog page and update. Unfortunately, we have a pretty sensitive internet filter here at the Y, and no personal blog sites are allowed through. I also don't haev internet at my house, so here is the plan: I am going to start typing up blog posts during my free time at work, emailing them to myself, and posting them when I get to a coffee shop with internet. This means I might post 2 or 3 at a time, but dont get your hopes up. I am reminded day after day that our world is a changeful world. Everything is moving, going, growing, transferring, transitioning, and our lives are full of seasons that also ebb and flow. I am in one of the scariest seasons of my life and am feeling the most fear and anxiety I have ever felt. My roomate Robin reminded me yesterday that 'fear is not of the Lord'...and for that matter neither is anxiety. In Malachi God says, "I the Lord DO NOT change." Now, it isn't in there as capital letters, but I can really picture God yellign that part. I picture him yelling, because we ALWAYS forget this. God proves to us time and time again that he will be our provider, that he will pick up the pieces, that he is gracious and merciful...YET we forget. I always forget. His promises, His character, His provisions, His previous doings do not become null and void when we face a new crisis or when we face the changefulnes of the world. He remains the same, no matter our situation. I am learning not to be so selfish with my time as I begin a full-time job. I don't have the same luxuries to spend hours reading, or mornings sleeping, or afternoons napping, or breakfasts with friends. I have to be more intentional with the time I have during this season of change. I have ten days off during Christmas and I cannot wait. I will make it home on Christmas Eve, and come back here on January 1st. Tyler gets to come home with me and meet the entire family, and for this I am so thankful. Tis' the season.