Friday, January 23, 2009

Guest Blogger: Charles

As many of you faithful reader's know, Charles is a good friend and fellow English major. He has a knack for story-telling and remembering details (he can recite to me any quotes from The Office after only viewing once when I don't get to tune in live), and he and I share a love for going to bars sober. We have both mastered the art of "fake-drinking." If you have ever been to a bar in college, something you hear about every 5 minutes is, "Hey, you want a drink?" At which point any answer but "HECK (insert expletive here) YEA" is met with excessive amounts of peer pressuring, nagging, and downright bullying until you give in.

In order to curb this inevitable scene, Charles and I have come up with a fool-proof plan: Always drink bottles. The dark amber colored bottles that most beer is served in are great for masking the true amount of alcohol you consume. No one knows how much you have had, and as long as you have something in your hand you have a good enough reason to say no thanks to the harassment. A pitcher might seem like a better deal economy-wise, but if you are trying to hide your alcohol intake (I realize this is not a common practice in most college scenes) a clear glass doesn't do the trick. All of that being said, Charles wrote up a guest blog about the new hot night spot for Xavier students here in Cincinnati.

Greetings rejoicers and happy New Year, Charles here with a guest blog. The spring semester is in full swing at Xavier, with classes starting last Monday. The return of the student body means the return of the All-Card special and other promotional events at Lodge bar, a venue that has quickly become the new Soupie’s of underclass Musketeers.

I am somehow two-for-two in Thursday night trips down to 7th street. There is a striking resemblance between the paths that Lodge bar and Facebook are taking with regards to their exclusivity. As many (or few?) of you know, Facebook gained notoriety for being an online social network accessible only to college students and nobody else. Sometime during the spring of my freshman year, that all changed when they started accepting high school kids, and the flood gates were opened. Now everybody and their sister (or mother) has a Facebook account, and the good old days of being able to naively post anything and everything that happened over the weekend on a public forum without fear of consequence have gone out the window. But I digress.

Sometime during the fall semester, Lodge started letting “18 and older” clientele into its establishment, making sure to strictly enforce state and federal drinking laws by using black magic markers on all minors’ hands, creating “X”s that would require the use of both warm water AND soap before coming off in the bathroom. Despite this seemingly fail-proof method, kids are somehow figuring out ways to still get all of the $2 “You-call-its” and $3 Miller “pitchers” their hearts desire. It is a travesty, a sham, and a mockery really… a traveshamockery.

Nevertheless, the loss of Lodge bar’s integrity as a law-abiding watering hole is my gain when it comes to people-watching. Naturally, the increase in the population’s blood-alcohol levels on a Thursday nights has correlated to an increase in other things as well, some better than others:

-Single-ladies putting their hands up

-Bromances between myself and other heterosexual guy friends

-Public make-outs by well-known faces around campus

-Collegiate athletes interacting with common students

-Tips/Donations for Rodney, the bathroom attendant

-Breaches of Hamilton County’s fire code

-Facebook photo albums with wood-paneled walls and animal heads in the background

-Friends for Ashwin Ganesh, Xavier Grad-Student and Gallagher front desk worker

Of course, all this added popularity only fuels the fire felt by the one and only (or many?) “Lodge Bar DJ” who gets the crowd going to say the least… going to the bathroom, going to the bar next door, going home for the night. Nobody can accuse this guy of being too shy to use expletives or holding back from gratuitous sexual references and innuendos throughout the night. While I have yet to witness a Bucky Bowl Drinking Contest yet in 2009, I’m sure the time will come soon enough. And when it does, there will be no shortage of soapy-handed, inebriated single “ladies” putting their hands up to participate, making sure their friends take pictures to post on Facebook later.

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