And so begins my Sunday. Feeling pretty anxious and burdened today with all of the work that I feel I should accomplish. Woke up at 9 and couldn't get back to sleep because I couldn't clear my head. Opened up to Psalms because the book never fails to speak straight to my heart. When I need comfort, when I feel joy or when I simply desire words that I know will speak directly to what I am feeling, Psalms is (are?) the book.
16 Turn to me and be gracious to me,
for I am lonely and afflicted.
17 The troubles of my heart have multiplied;
free me from my anguish.
18 Look upon my affliction and my distress
and take away all my sins.
19 See how my enemies have increased
and how fiercely they hate me!
20 Guard my life and rescue me;
let me not be put to shame,
for I take refuge in you.
21 May integrity and uprightness protect me,
because my hope is in you. Psalm 25:16-21
I need to rest in the fact that my Creator alone is the only person/thing that can validate me. Everything else is considered a loss compared to knowing Jesus (Philippians 3:8). In 2.5 weeks this thesis will mean nothing, other than knowledge that I will hopefully be able to apply in the future. In my small group devotional this week, we were asked to write all of our accomplishments, read Philippians 3:8, and then write the word rubbish over all of them. What a RELIEF! To know that I am not expected to be a slave to those things that I, and the world, deem successful and deserving of price and acclaim.
I opted to be driver again last night for some friends to head to Mount Adams. Molly and I met Charles and some of his friends there and hung out for most of the night at Alive One. This is a pretty cool place because the music isn't terribly loud and the crowd is mello. Isn't it funny how on breaks like Thanksgiving and Christmas that you typically see so many people that you haven't seen in years? It is typically impossible to avoid taht awkward interchange where you have to ask all of the obligatory questions: How are you? When do you graduate? Got a job yet? etc. Last night, I am chatting with Charles' friend Scotty and someone from high school reaches over a few other people in the crowd to shake Scotty's hand and offer a greeting. He leaves it at that and Scotty turns to me to comment on the ease and not-awkwardness of a potentially very awkward situation. The guy, who in most cases is someone you haven't talked to since graduation, didn't push the envelope to create a chemistry that wasn't there.
Ironically, not 15 minutes later, this same guy meets eyes with Scotty again and this time there is no averting his gaze. I slink off giggling because he is stuck now in one of those conversations and he just gives me a look out of the corner of his eye. haha.
Again, drove everyone to McDonald's for some late-night and called it a night. Car conversations were worth the extra few minutes.
Now I am going to stop procrastinating and get to work. I have had my fun and now I need to honor that this project deserves and warrants attention. T-16 days people. 16 days....