Prayer me luck...but really..wish me prayer

Not much to talk about because I feel like I am kind of at a standstill in my life right now. I hesitate to call this a dry place, or a valley, but moreso...arid? and plateau. Things move like clockwork for the most part from day to day, and my future is still a big question mark. If you know me at all, and if I am being honest, this big looming question mark (which is really what I am trying NOT to see it as) is a big pain in the you know what for me. I spoke in an earlier post about feeling entitled to certain things because I have worked hard with what I ascertain to be my God-given talents. I am trying so hard to stop clinging to this feeling. It truly enslaves me and I feel like it is really clouding my vision right now.

I read a verse in proverbs about a week ago that I keep thinking of. Proverbs 25:2 says this:
"It is the glory of God to conceal a matter;
to search out a matter is the glory of kings."

Man, I can't help but ask myself EVERY DAY why in the world I have to know God's plans for me. Why am I so convinced that He is hiding something from me that in all actuality, and realness in this big dumb world, I really NEED to and SHOULD be privy to. (excuse me ending a sentence in a preposition). Part of God being God is that he does things His way, and if I want to experience my life to the fullest on this wretched Earth, I gotta let Him. Sometimes I convince myself that when God isn't giving me concrete answers to prayers, or peace about a matter, that I am able to make the best decision on my own anyway. I need to be reminded of this verse every day. I ope it haunts me until the day I die because by golly, part of God's power is knowing what we don't have to know.

Why, oh WHY do I need to know so bad. Why can't I just trust that no plan of my own could come close ot hitting a homer out of the park like God's? In the meantime, I am trying to be still and rest and just pray about this question mark (not so looming this time). I am going to publish all of the questions eating at me about this question mark right here in this blog post and I am leaving them here for good. God answers web-prayers too, I am convinced. So here they are: Will I have a job? How will I get insurance? Where will I live if I don't get a job? Do I take a job outside of "the South" if that is really where my heart is set? What do I do in the meantime of waiting to hear about any openings, or waiting for word from the Lord? Do I move home this summer or try to sublease somewhere warm and begin establishing connections by volunteering or wokring part time at a non-profit while also waitressing or something else for money? How will I pay my rent? What will I do if I move back to Charleston? YIKES. These are a lot. Do you see why it is a big question mark. I am leaving this stress and anxiety here, and I am going to rest in the lap of God while He chooses when and how to reveal His plan for me.

Prayer me luck (kinda like wish me luck but one trillion times better).

I think I want to revise this to wish me prayer...after I think about it...so...yea.

Renovating my life.

In case you did not see my facebook status, I did some INTENSE cleaning and rearranging of furniture today. I had a morning that was all ME and God, then some time on here blogging thoughts and relaxing a bit with Molly, but by 130 I was in full gear. I had no obligations/responsibilities today...hear that? NONE. This was the first time in a VERY long time.

So, now I will show you some pictures of the new room arrangements in the NEW and CLEAN living room and my bedroom. I even washed my sheets and dusted.
After seeing this setup, I decided that when I move into my own place I might need a big girl bed. Thoughts? Plus this thing barely holds all my stuffed animals. Ironic?
The new living room setup allows for us to take more advantage of both couches because they both have better views. I did not have intentions to move it around, but I got in the vacuuming mode and wanted to move all furniture to vacuum under it - and this what I ended up with.

Rainy Day

After a few uncharacteristically enjoyable days of Cincinnati weather, the rain is back to stay. Had rain all last night and after staying up until 2 am watching Rob Dyrdek's Fantasy Factory, I slept in until 10:30 this morning because of the rain. Mind you, I have no obligations today other than our church small group tonight at 8 with my high school girls. I had a great morning just spending time in the word and prayer. I have been in a pretty frustrated place lately when it comes to prayer. I have been met, through several different mediums, with the call to prayer. I feel like I have been answering this call, numerous different times as of late, and I don't feel like I am getting answers from the Lord about the things that I am praying about.

This morning I specifically sat down to praise, repent, ask and yield. I have been specifically looking for any sort of clarity or peace about my after graduation situation, and I feel frustrated because I don't think that the Lord has been revealing this to me. I am honest about this because God knows what I am thinking anyway, and if I am not honest, that frustration and denial stands as a bigger hindrance between me and the Lord. SO, this morning, I felt very convicted by the Lord in what I believe was direct word from Him...and it had nothing to do with what I wanted answers about. Fancy that, God has his own agenda.

I have a sneaky and cunning part of me that creeps up every once in a while that makes em feel entitled to things...in this case I have felt entitled to some answers because time is fast approaching and I have been trying hard to look for God's will. But He has some different ideas for me now. This is hard to swallow, but I felt so reassured this morning that I heard the Lord's voice speaking to me about something. I don't think that I ever doubt that he is there listening, but it helps to be reminded that he is also speaking back if I just shut up and listen.

So...as much as I hate rain. Thanks for the rain today God.


So on a completely unrelated note...I locked my keys in my car on Monday.
I have become notorious for this since getting my car sophomore year of college. In the first year of having my car, I locked my keys in my car 8 different times. This resulted in several calls to local police stations, in my roommate having to skip a class to bring me my keys, and on Monday in my first call to AAA. Now, this past Christmas my parents purchased a hide-a-key that goes under my car so that if I do lock myself out I can easily fix the situation. I went running on Saturday and just used the hide a key, so that I wouldn't have to run with my keys. I neglected to put it back. So on Monday, I got out of my car with just my cell phone and had it locked from the inside, keys still in the on position in the ignition, and the hide a key sitting on my front seat inside my car.

After calling Norwood police and finding out that they do not have the tools to jimmy the keys out of my car, they suggested a locksmith. I declined this gracious $75 offer after I remembered that I have AAA. This has been the gift taht really keeps on giving. In the past 2 months AAA has changed my tire, gotten me a zoo discount, gotten me a travel discount, and gotten my keys out of my car for free. So, I wait on the front porch, up rolls AAA and sure enough, he gets the car unlocked in one little swipe. Congratulations to me for being to resourceful.

St. Theres's Prayer

This is a really awesome prayer that my mom sent to me in a chain email a while back. Typically I sift through those and delete them pretty graciously, but I am really glad I stopped on this one. No other explanation needed. This prayer speaks for itself.

St. Theresa's Prayer

May today there be peace within.
May you trust that you are exactly where you are meant to be.
May you not forget the infinite possibilities that are born of faith in yourself and others.
May you use the gifts that you have received and pass on the love that has been given you.
May you be content with yourself just the way you are.
Let this knowledge settle into your bones, and allow your soul the freedom to sing, dance, praise and love.
It is there for each and every one of us.

Okay. Have a good day:)

Few pictures.

Some of you have probably already seen these photos but I figured I would put up some pics taken last week when the sibs were here. Let me say that I think my brother is as comfortable with his sexuality as my dad, which is why he too can be secure putting on a face mask to exfoliate. Anything to appease his nagging sisters.

Big sis.

Much to say after having Becca and Robert here. It is 11:13 PM and they are both out cold. Though this picture doesn't make much sense. We did the zoo for 3 hours, then I worked for five. While I worked, they both got in naps, and Becca made us dinner. Then we got yogoot and played speed scrabble with Charles and Natalie, and THEY are tired. I have not stopped. Plus I washed dishes. I am just older. Later bedtime. Always been the oldest and some things never change (yes I realize it is not possible to change me being the oldest...for the sake of the reference). I love being a big sister.

Will blog more tomorrow after they hit the road. For now I will join them in slumber. Expect some great pics tomorrow!

That's My Dad

My dad is comfortable with his sexuality. He and my mom have been married either 23 or 24 years this coming April, and I'd say that he has proven that he is a straight married man. Now that I have set this up so that he can't totally hate me for posting this picture...here comes the story.


My sister Becca sent me a picture via cell phone text yesterday evening, a picture that prompted ample amounts of LOL'ing. After seeing said picture, I asked her how sneaky she could be in taking the same picture on my dad's iphone so that it could be emailed to me and uploaded on the web. She is, of course, the sneakiest out of the four of us (best at finding out and keeping secrets, and also very aware of the going's on of most people in Charleston - that is why her hair is so big). So, because of her sweet-talking and perceived innocent naivete, she was able to come up with this.

Behold, my dad getting a pedicure with his youngest daughter. I suppose this is what Jessica meant by father daughter bonding? Exactly what I had in mind too. I salute you Mr. So Comfortable With Yourself That You Are Not Embarrassed To Get a Pedicure. That's my dad.

In case you were wondering...

I have realized that as the months go on, I am increasing the number of websites/email services that I check on a daily basis. I get bored easily and for the amount of time I spend on the computer I am always interested in new fun blogs to follow or new websites that are of interest.

I am currently web maneuvering between (in no specific order):

Facebook (of course)
Twitter (this is new for me because of urging from friends, but becoming scary addicting. It may require some Lenten abstinence)
Blogger (where I think I follow about 26 blogs - not all of them active - cough - PIERCE - cough...plus I get to check and see it anyone has commented on my blog. For instance the picture of my messy room didn't get as much attention as I had thought it would.)
My Xavier Email (soon to be null and void!)
My NEW Gmail account (jaclynchristinethomas@gmail.com)
Weather.com (various cities)

My new favorite thing has become job searching websites. Oh wait, did I say favorite? I mean LEAST favorite.

So...I am not sure of the purpose of this post. In case you were wondering? LOL

Spring Has Sprung

There is currently a glare on my computer screen that I am pretty happy about. I have my window behind my desk open and the shun is shining. It smells like outside in here. Perfecto.

I have been pretty stressed out lately about some stuff that I have just been refusing to surrender to the Lord. This refusal to surrender has not been totally conscious, but finding a job and making a decision about spending money on a graduation trip are two things that I try to control. Decision making always seems to be a big part of my life that I cannot surrender. I am so consumed with having ideas of my own and jumping on board for things before I really take the chance to sit down and pray about them. This job thing is turning out to actually be as bad as people have been saying, and I have been spending the last 24 hours just really TRULY trying to give up my fears and restlessness about it.

The weather helps, but I am already feeling a greater peace about it. A woman that I babysit for asked for me resume to pass on to people that she is involved with in the non-profit world too....just this afternoon. Already God is proving to me that I need to and can only find joy in trusting Him.

Spring in Cincinnati makes me appreciate it 100x more. There are so many college kids out on their porches and friends yelling and chatting in the street. As much as I love fall, Spring has the promise of summer to go along with it. So, here it is folks. Spring has officially sprung in Cincinnati.

Technology at its greatest.

I have just signed on for the latest in Stalker Technology...well...the latest to me. Caroline Fontenot, a dear friend from summer staff who I mention on here periodically because she is a great photographer with a sweet blog, sent me an email at my request explaining to me the ins and outs of this new fangled technology: Twitter. Anyone who is interested can follow my updates on their computer...or be notified of what I am doing every minute of the day via text. It is a phenomenom that I am still skeptical of, but famous people do this thing.

That is what the new widget on the side of my blog is for. Twitter seems kind of like mini blogging to me. Caroline informs me I only get 140 words each time I "tweet."

Wanna know the best part? My BFF Danny Gokey from American Idol has it. Found him on Caroline's friends and I LOVE that.

Okay. I will give you updates on my feeling about Twitter later on today or tomorrow. My house is freezing because the heat is off and my fingers can barely move to type.

Pee ess. My Grandpa has facebook now. I love that even more. Can't wait until he is a tweeter!

I. Need. A. Job.

So. "Because of the economy right now" I am currently on the waiting list for the job that I applied for in Charlotte, NC. The organization will not know until min-April how many spots that they are allotted per state from Americore.

That being said, and after some extensive research over the past few days, I need your help. I am enlisting readers of my blog to.....


Okay I am kidding because we all know that there are about 5 jobs out there to be had and I don't exactly have specialized skills that are not otherwise disposable when people need to cut back. I still really desire to move to NC, but I am not sure how much confidence I have in moving there without a job. Scary that living at home might become more and more of a reality? But, I keep looking and pray for the best. I know that the Lord will provide in the long run, but I am impatient, so I am working on that.

Just a few pictures for your enjoyment.

Clearly I am a kayaking beast.
Oh hey big, smelly, washed up jelly fish. These things were HUMONGOUS and everywhere.
Cliche sunset pic
times two.
Allison and I with an unidentified Reds' player (Bolivar...free agent?). One of the two who actually gave in to Allison's heckling.

Florida/Cincinnati Edition: Volume 6

I am back in Cincinnati. I am home. In my apartment. Just 12 hours ago I was sitting on the shores of the Gulf. Sad...especially because I have a paper due Tuesday that has not been started. Take home midterm if we are getting technical. We had about an hour of delays flying home today. Spent 4 hours thinking we were on the plane as Marty Brennaman, the announcer for the Reds. Talked to him, snuck taking his picture on the cell phone, texted it to friends...the whole nin yards. Turns out...not him. Good thing we did't ask. Talk about embarrassing.

Hope to get some definite news about the Charlotte job tomorrow. Prayers appreciated :)

Florida pictures to come...

Florida Edition: Volume 5

We leave Florida tomorrow. Since Allison has been telling me that I look like the girls that work at the tanning bed, I might be ready to get out of the direct sun for a while. I have never had this many freckles. We will be hitting the beach tomorrow around 10 and coming in around 2 so leave for the airport by 330 for our flight that leaves at 450 from Sarasota. That was a lot of times. Keep up...

Last night was ridiculous. We played Monopoly for 4 hours with three young children. Allison and I, her aunt and uncle, and their three kids. Winner: Eli...age 7. No special treatment, in fact, we tried to take advantage of his naivete at the beginning and he ends up with bank. I hate Monopoly, mostly. I am not aggressive when it comes to playing, and 5 day long games in Kiawah really ruined it for me. Dane Cook we are on the SAME page. Afterwards Allison and I hit karaoke to bask in the 15 minutes of fame that the Sarasota/Siesta Key locals thrive on. Our own little version of American idol, without and star cred or celebrities involved. Absolutely hilarious.

We kayaked in the Bay today (otherwise known as the intercoastal). It is separate from the Gulf and ultimately flows into it. Lots of manatees when it is warmer and MANY MANY pelicans. disgust. We got pretty close to a dolphin, which was awesome. Basically I petted it, but not really. Got in some pool time with kids later in the afternoon, then babysat this eve so Allison's aunt and uncle could go out to eat. This was GREAT for me because it mean ice cream. After ice cream we took the kids out on the beach to check out the stars. I will never be unamazed by the stars. When I can see a full sky with little lighting I never EVER question anything that the Lord does on thsi earth. Talk about perspective. I just feel so small. It is so cliche, but the cold soft sand, sound of waves and smell of the breeze at night on a beach make it holy to me. I mentioned to Allison that I just couldn't imagine not living near a beach for the duration of my life once I am out of Cincinnati. I think I really mean it. I want to drag my family there. 

Something else I love: experiencing things with kids. They are so amazed and enamored by things that are simple. It makes everything that much more unbelievable and new for me as well. CRAZY....just crazy. It had been years since I had been to the beach with young kids and thiese past couple days have been so fun, just seeing how they experience and react to things they do and see. Faith like a child. Jesus said it right ( as if he needs my affirmation).

Florida Edition: Volume 4

Today is our second to last FULL day at the beach and our second day with kiddos here. Yesterday afternoon Allison's Aunt Emily, her husband David, and their three kids arrived. They met us out on the beach and totally revamped our afternoon. We both welcomed the small change of pace - getting up from our chairs to venture to the water and playing in the pool with three swimmy kids. 

Back up one day though for a good story. Allison and I decided to go out for the first time on Wednesday night. By "go out" I mean we had intentions to actually stay out past 9 PM and have at least one adult beverage. We got all ready, blow dried our hair, put on something other than bathing suits and boxer shorts and began the trek to "the Village." It is important that you know that we had really planned ahead for this trip. We had to leave the house before sunset because we had a bit of a trek ahead of us. Seeing as how we have no car, (which you know about if you have already read about our bike ride to the Reds game) we had to walk the 1.5-2 mile beach front walk, then head to the pavement to finish it off. We opted to walk the beach so we could see the sunset and as a consequence for this intelligent decision our feet began to freeze off. I definitely stepped on a sharp shell, bled profusely, but didn't feel a thing because my feet had frozen to the point of gangrene and I no longer needed feeling in them. 

After an hour and a half, and a foot defrost we had worked up an appetite, only to find that our table choice was minimal. We ended up sitting outside near the sidewalk for people watching...worth the cold. Not 6 feet from us was a table of two gentlemen. As soon as we sat the older looking man commented that we would regret our seat choice because they had been sitting there and moved because of the wind. I assured them we would be fine and he told us that whenever we got cold we could join them at their table. 

During the course of our evening we were visited by three ghosts (really just people but I liked the Charles Dickens "A Christmas Carol" reference): San Diego DUI, Freckle Monster, and the Contractors of America. Older men seem to think that we are approachable. The San Diego DUI proceeded to tell us that he was moving to Florida to avoid the 18 month no driving sentence for his DUI. In Florida he only has to do 6 months service. He is also looking for a good deal on a condo, but the people offering it got in a fight and chased him off. Later on, the Freckle Monster (female, approximate age: 55) proceeded to tell us about her "best friend" who was adamant about "banging" all of her boyfriends..."Some best friend, huh?" Her current boyfriend had bought a tie-dye kit, like Allison, and made her a homemade tie-dye shirt. He was wearing his. She proceeded to "hiss" like a cat at her "best friend" in order to prove her territorial instincts since she did not want another one of her children to sleep with said "best friend." Really, is there something in my gaze, my forehead, do I have a tattoo that I don't know about that says, "Yes, I would love to have a conversation about your deep personal life and offer you obvious and intelligent advice that I know you will not even listen to as you lean on my shoulder and breathe your beer breath in my ear." Someone alert me to whatever signifier I have.

Shortly after she stumbled from our table the Contractors of America asked us for the 6th and final time if we would like to join us at their table. I insisted again that we were just fine, and he finally worked up the courage...liquid form...to just insist that they move to our table instead. Really? Come to find out they are at some work conference and just met each other on Monday. Names and ages: Andrew 32, married, two kids...and CRENSHAW, 24, forever cursed with a name that sounds like a piece of heavy construction equipment. Slightly ridiculous people. Insistent on paying our bill...why? Why do some people do that? You just met me, why would you want to pay my $70 dinner bill? There is no stream of logic that makes sense here. 

Rest of the night was slightly less uneventful, but I did hear the joke that about sums up this vacation. This joke comes from the singer of The Marvins, a live duo at Captain Curts...approximate age: 70, drum player. And the joke is:

One night I met a girl who told me I was a dirty old man...I said, "Hey, I'm not old!"

Florida Edition: Volume 3 Allison

It is getting rather late in the morning, and the sun is out...so Allison is going to make this quick. 

Well to back track on Jaclyn & I's experience so far... 

Sunday was an eventful day.. We road bikes to the Reds v Yankee's game at Ed Smith Stadium.(A grand-slam W for the Reds) We stood against the fence most of the game to chat with the players, or with ourselves since they never really responded. After each inning players normally walk right in front of where we were standing, not only to come talk to us but on their way to their locker room as well. So we saw all these famous people whom we had no idea one of their names. I am a big Cincinnati fan, by that I mean I enjoy going to the sporting events and know nothing really about the teams, and decided maybe the Reds players were as well, so I yelled "Who Dey" to them after their big win against the Yankees, hardly did they find this entertaining, oh well - JT and I did... But then there are some players who come over to the edge of the fence and sign autographs, take pictures etc. We got 2 pictures with players & one of the pictures we have no idea who the man is.. Couldn't see a number or last name anywhere.. oh well.  So then we road back through the village. 

We are staying at one end of Siesta Key and the village/public beach is at the other, all of 2 mile difference. I wanted to go to the sunset at the public beach since the hippies come out at "beat down the sun" on sunday nights. It was an experience I will not forget. Lots of people dancing around like they could be on some drug, but may not be and this is just their natural spirit. Very interesting, JT has video's she can post.. Word's can not describe these characters but it was a lot of fun and hilarious to watch. 

Tuesday night, we went to Captain Curt's, restaurant/bar near the condo.. We were pleasantly surprised with a Beatle's cover band, (JT particularly captivated by the lead singers studded bell bottom jeans) "the Fab Three" who decided to play 4 by adding a girl to the band, v interesting. The girl had the lowest voice of them all. But they were great and fun to watch, until this man decided to sit down with Jaclyn and I. His name is Lauren, and he is by far the creepiest man I have ever come across in the 22 years of coming to Siesta Key. He had this creepy constant chuckling laugh, and asked to sit with us. Thinking it was a harmless situation I said sure, then when he decided to try and talk to us the whole entire time it ruined the Beatles experience. Come to find out Lauren owns a coin collecting business, owning his own business is great, he gets to work his own hours. He also buys scrap gold (like the commercial), which is just great as well. He believes his business is "recession-proof" & just loves it. (all with little chuckles in between each statement). He is friends with the guitar player, Michael (studded jeans and fake british accent) - who when the band went on a break hardly acted as if they were friends. Michael used to work for Lauren... scrapping gold I assume. Lauren asked where we stayed, how long, etc. Made sure to tell him only 1 more day and a complex at the other end of the island - ur welcome Mrs. Thomas. Jaclyn got a kick out of telling him she was studying chemistry....far from the truth.. I was trying to get the waitress to get our bill to get out of there. The night we met Lauren may have been one of the most rowdy nights in Siesta Key, but we are hitting up the village tonight, and who knows what locals will be there..... Until then, stay warm. hahaha

Florida Edition: Volume 2

I am going to keep this blog short because Allison has promised to fill you in later on tonight. We are having a great time and the weather is warming up. It has been windy, but sunny, so we have been relinquished pool side because it is too chilly on the beach. Supposed to get warm again tomorrow, so I hope to spend much of the day on the beach. We have been really relaxing and getting reading done. I am tan, but more so just relaxed and rested. I woke up this morning and it was warm enough to sit on the balcony with a towel over my legs. I dove into the Reset book for the all church journey and did the first prompt. This week is entitled something about God not being fair...maybe...Reset you view of God's unfairness? 

We were asked to write about a time when we felt like we had gotten the short end of the stick...when we thought that someone else got something good while we had to deal with the loss of something we wanted. I was able to think of this pretty quickly. I realized that I am still hanging on to feelings of unfairness and being cheated by God for something that happened over a year ago. I realized that I had never written it down and really hadn't faced it. It was refreshing to really be honest with myself and with the Lord, and I was encouraged that in this church journey I wanted to really know what assumptions about God I had gathered along my faith journey. Maybe this is one. Maybe I feel entitled. How refreshing to face this and start moving forward. 

I peeked ahead for tomorrow and I am challenged to write the story about this time when I felt unfairness from the other person's point of view. Interesting challenge. 

Florida Edition: Volume 1

AH. Our first full day in Florida. Arrived yesterday to the Sarasota Airport around 1115. Grabbed a taxi (horrible driver - New York style - almost hit another car in the first 2 miles), and stopped by the condo to drop luggage, then headed straight over to lunch. Maybe the best cheeseburger I have ever had. Melted cheese, two pattie's...they even boasted best burger on the beach...I buy it. 

It got up to 79 degrees yesterday. Allison and I were both pretty tired from getting up so early, but she especially had only slept for about 2 hours over the course of the past two days because of a Finance test. So, we both behaved accordingly and fell asleep on the beach. Allison slept a good 2.5 hours while I was off and on, doing some reading and walking in between. Also accordingly, we fried. I realized early enough that my face isn't too bad yet, but Allison's arms and legs are pretty spicy red. God granted us some relief and we've got clouds today. It is pretty windy here and rained this morning. Just supposed to stay cool today. Pretty convenient because we are headed to the Reds v. Yankees game today on bikes. Game is at 1:05 and Allison woke up approximately...37 minutes ago...at 11. That was only after I tried making lots of noise, walking in and out of the room, shuffling around in the bathroom. Finally I opened the blinds and she scolded me for not waking her up sooner. Oops...didn't realize that you silencing your alarm 5 times in a row meant that you were ready to get up.

No sweat though. I realized that she needed sleep and I got a lot of things done this morning. I am TOTALLY my mother's daughter in lots of ways, but this morning it was so clear. I woke up early at the beach...not as early as mom (8:30)...realized it was raining so stayed inside. I read some of my book, started a grocery list, cut up some fruit, got the internet working, loaded the dishwasher, wrote Becca a letter, and cleaned up some of our stuff from yesterday. 

Last night, our first saturday night of senior year in college Spring break, Allison and I WILED out. We: went to the grocery for a few essentials before hitting the big grocery today; cut and ate veggies, cheese and hummus; fixed a whole world map puzzle; watched a few episodes of my first home on TLC; went to bed at 1030 PM. Talk about ROWDY. I miss you guys. Something so different about doing a beach trip without family. The sand here is pristine white, and blue water...not exactly South Carolina, huh? Love it just the same though. Sun is sun and the beach is the beach to me. Wish y'all could be here!